Category Archives: Relationships

Would you break up with your partner because he is cheap?

My friend wants to breakup with her high-profile boyfriend because surprisingly, he is not a generous person. Okay, so that’s me becoming more diplomatic and politically correct. In Bonita’s wording, he is cheap. Yes, cheap. “My friend’s sex buddy treats … Continue reading

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Posted in Boyfriend, Men, Personal opinion, Relationships, Updates | 6 Comments

Cold feet – got it?

My best friend just broke up with her boyfriend of four years three weeks ago. Out of the blue, he sent her an SMS saying that “He wanted time to think.” Troubled, she gave him a call and he told … Continue reading

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Feeling pressured after meeting the parents

Hi Bonita, How did you survive this weekend with your in laws. Please share. Love, mom REPLY: Dear mom, The weekend went really well. Trader’s family is just very warm, loving and I left the weekend feeling very loved and … Continue reading

Posted in Boyfriend, Family, Hong Kong Life, Mom's advice, Ramblings, Rants, Relationships | 3 Comments

The death of the romantic boyfriend

Written last February 11 and wasn’t posted: Trader flying over to Hong Kong tomorrow for our once-a-month-let’s-see-each-other trip, romantic. The fact that he’s informed me not to have any expectations for a gift because he didn’t have any. Trader doesn’t … Continue reading

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A lot of people want to get married – but fail to ask the right questions…

It’s been said that we ask more questions when we’re purchasing a big ticket item like a car or a house, than about the guy we want to get married to. Take my older sister for example, she was old … Continue reading

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The Breakup Letter

 Fact: I am very happy that you’re flying here. I’ve missed you and it’ll be great to see you again.   My mind is just exhausted from Spring semester but let me try to explain myself. What I’ve heard … Continue reading

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How my LDR works

When people hear that I’m in a long distance relationship, their mouths go agape and immediately forecast impending doom. “Oooh, long distance relationships does NOT work. How can you be far apart from each other THAT long?” I sincerely don’t … Continue reading

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Finding a job and a boyfriend is more or less the same

The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that finding love and an internship/job is more or less the same. Here are the many ways: 1) The one you end up with may be the least you’d … Continue reading

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What if his parents hate you?

Those who’s been reading my blog know that Trader’s parents don’t like me as much. They have done all they can to discourage him from dating me even to the point of once giving the ultimatum that he had to … Continue reading

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Reprint: Why Chinese Girlfriends Are Superior (By Chinese Girlfriend)

A lot of foreign girlfriends I meet wonder how Chinese girlfriends have such doting boyfriends. They wonder about the dynamics of these relationships that produce boyfriends who are attentive, adoring, and even willing to do all household chores. Often, these … Continue reading

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What I did in 2010… (Part I)

2010 had been a year of new beginnings and many changes. Here’s a brief rundown: January 2010: Trader and I had already been together for the last eight months and our relationship is rocky. We fight a lot because he … Continue reading

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What’s the point of hiding? :)

Classmates can be crazy at times. They think that we don’t know, but actually, we do. Take for example, if you secretly hold hands while going out with us in Wanchai, of course, there’s a chance someone would see, right? … Continue reading

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A woman in her late 30s…

As I reach the big 3-0 this year, it’s harder not to feel nostalgic and somewhat afraid of the future. Will I ever get married? Is a normal family life or me, or will I be more like those women … Continue reading

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More options = better?

“Does it frustrate you that you only have one body/life/job/girlfriend?” I nonchalantly asked Trader. I have this silly tendency of asking totally random questions which trouble him very much. “I mean, for example, per day, despite the many options you … Continue reading

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“It’s Complicated”

It’s funny – a month after starting MBA, some long-term, long-distances are starting to unravel. Whilst many people came into an MBA in a relationship, for some reason, a handful are now either “on a break,” or reverted to a … Continue reading

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No… no… no…!

It’s started. It’s when relationships start getting complicated, and people who came in with a significant other consider messing around. I wonder what is it that makes someone consider switching sides? Is it the close proximity that MBA students have … Continue reading

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Are Crushes Dangerous?

I’m thinking about writing a post on crushes. But posts like these often times get me to trouble. Different from when we were younger, crushes are no longer as harmless as they seem. Especially if you’re already in a committed … Continue reading

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So how to keep a relationship while in MBA?

I was talking to one grad student today and she mentioned that she was part of the “statistic.” When I asked her what she meant, she mentioned that she was one of the many who came in business school with … Continue reading

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Consulting Me vs. Telling Me

Today’s argument came from the least likeliest of places. Trader was telling me that his friends were inviting him to go to Bhutan and said, “I’d love to go to Bhutan.” Now, a man could always want to go to … Continue reading

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T’is is NOT the Season to be Jolly!

Three couple friends in 24 hours. Two breakups. One on the way. Inasmuch that summer is moving towards autumn, breakup season signals its dire return. “Hon, can you please call me?” I asked Trader today after his work. There is … Continue reading

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Prioritizing your Love Life

I just came out from a lunch with an old university friend. We were having a catch-up chat from last month’s lunch when we were discussing on how she can further improve her business. You see, she quit her corporate … Continue reading

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Is it really all about the money?

Last night, I read something interesting off the Net. Is it really all about the money? He wonders that men do not really choose women based on how much they make. Whereas for women, a man’s earning power is a … Continue reading

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Getting to know each other… more.

I am lazily lounging about having a fresh cup of coffee. Trader is right by his computer watching a show. He’s taken his medical leave today given his severe backache (not my fault at all) and is just relaxing after … Continue reading

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Are you an Auntie?

I do not want to be an auntie. One of my biggest fears of being a mother is to look like an auntie, talk like an auntie and act like an auntie. Whereas a part of me look in envy … Continue reading

Posted in Life lessons, Personal opinion, Relationships | 3 Comments

Happy Anniversary to Us, Baby!

 As Trader and I remotely celebrate our one-year anniversary today (Yes, it’s been a whole year), we commemorate this special day about the 50 things about Trader and I that many probably don’t know. If you find it boring, no … Continue reading

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Like a Branded Bag

A relationship is like a branded bag. When you see a woman toting a catchy bag, you cannot help but stare at what is in her arms. “I want one of those,” you jealously mutter to yourself. You windowshop until … Continue reading

Posted in Reflections, Relationships | 2 Comments

Counter-dependent?

I think I may be counter-dependent according to this article. We quote: The Weinholds lay out some distinctive counter-dependent traits in their book, such as having trouble getting close to people and difficulty sustaining intimacy in romantic relationships. Other characteristics … Continue reading

Posted in Boyfriend, Personal opinion, Ramblings, Relationships | 6 Comments

Met the Parents – Check

So we’ve met the parents. Great news: My parents, with the usual apprehensions, overall like him. Bad news: His parents towards me — not so much. Hardly surprising though. The least we could expect was that the weekend was no … Continue reading

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Meet the Fockers – We’re all Focked, aren’t we?

Trader and I will meet the parents this weekend. Boy, is this going to be so much fun! 😀 His mother has grudgingly accepted the invitation though Trader has yet to come back to me on the deets. While my … Continue reading

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The Allure of the Married Guy

There’s just something about the Married Man which makes some girls swoon. He’s powerful, brilliant influential, high up in the ranks of any organization and yet despite his hectic schedule, pays attention to YOU. He takes you to the nicest … Continue reading

Posted in Boyfriend, Favorite Posts, Relationships, Taiwanese women | 1 Comment

In Defense of Desperate Housewives

Traderr and I had a fight the day before yesterday because I was too stressed out when he shared his wish for me to be a home-maker once we get married. Not that I’m discounting the hard work being a … Continue reading

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Biggest Lessons in 2009

Trader asked me what my New Year’s resolutions are. His were to sleep earlier, play less video games and read more books. He’s just started getting addicted to video games and wanted to curb this time-wasting endeavor. “To be better … Continue reading

Posted in Boyfriend, Favorite Posts, Hong Kong Life, Life lessons, Lists, Men, Reflections, Relationships, Taipei life, Work | 4 Comments

“I dreamed a dream…”

As many of you know, I’ve always wanted an MBA. Ever since. It’s been my dream ever since I was in college, but I figured that I had to work 2 years or so to be eligible for the program. … Continue reading

Posted in Boyfriend, Family, Favorite Posts, Friendship, Hong Kong Life, Life lessons, Mom's advice, Personal opinion, Reflections, Relationships, Work | 2 Comments

“Rang”

In Mandarin, we say “rang4.” In Tagalog, it means “pagbigyan.” In English, it’s to let someone have his/her way. Relationships have a lot of “rangs” or “gives or takes.” A couple, no matter how perfect, will have their disagreements from … Continue reading

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Falling Deeper

Trader and I both celebrated our sixth month anniversary this week. He even ensured that he was in Hong Kong to share the moment with me. A great sacrifice indeed to spend a week of his two-week block leave with … Continue reading

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What to do when your friend is caught in a toxic relationship?

Someone left a comment asking me what to do when a friend is caught in a toxic relationship (e.g., f*ck buddies when feelings are involved, dating a married man, etc.). One of my posts caught interest especially since I was … Continue reading

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Trouble in paradise?

Trader and I are in a bit of a bind these days. On a gross twist of fate, his parents now hate  mine even though they’ve never even met, because they think my parents are mayabang (arrogant). Of course, Trader … Continue reading

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Opposites attract — but can they sustain?

Trader and I had a semi argument last night on our virtual date. As he was not giving me too much attention, I got pissed off and felt that I should be somewhere else. “Why would I be stuck here … Continue reading

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Happy Birthday to a 29 year-old me!

Last year, my parents told me that I can now officially date. Now turning 29, I’m dating this really nice guy, relocated to a new country and are celebrating by parent-sitting this week. My dad is constantly in my back … Continue reading

Posted in Boyfriend, Family, Favorite Posts, Hong Kong Life, Life lessons, Lists, Men, Movie reviews, Music, Personal opinion, Reflections, Relationships, Travels, Work | 2 Comments

FUBU or MOBU?

“How does one get a FUBU?” my innocent boyfriend inquired yesterday as we were cyberdating via Skype, our regular nocturnal activity nowadays given that we’re in a long-distance relationship. He didn’t really want to hear my answer after I’ve told … Continue reading

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Mom’s Advice: Do I need to work on MBA to increase my financial independence?

My mom can be quite conservative and traditional with her mindset and ever since I’ve told her about Trader, she has been very patient in teaching me the ways of the old-fashioned. When I told her I didn’t want kids, … Continue reading

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Our fourth month-sary!

What I learned after our fourth month anniversary with Trader? 1) Relationships are already hard enough. Happy to admit that I’m more than a handful to be a boyfriend too, and can be over-annoying sometimes. Hence, it’s really important that … Continue reading

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Disturbed by the Noise

Before you read this post, I’ll leave you this link. If ever I forget to add this link by the end of the post, you may go back up again and click on it. That’s how I feel about Trader … Continue reading

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Love only those who love you

Many a woman’s problems can be solved by following one rule: Love only the man who loves you more. Women aren’t really born and bred to chase after a man. In these days of independent powerful women who are used … Continue reading

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A real Rapunzel love story

The setting was perfect: the church was only booked by Manila’s finest and the reception was held at the Makati Shangri-la, one of the most expensive and opulent venues to hold a wedding. The bride’s mother cried and everybody sighed … Continue reading

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Why am I not a fan of malabong usapan (complicated relationships)?

1)      What for? As if I’m still looking for somebody else. Isn’t it better to just focus on your significant other? Usually for those who still like to keep their relationships “complicated,” they’re still on the lookout for someone better. … Continue reading

Posted in Lists, Reflections, Relationships | 5 Comments

Why my boyfriend freaks guys out

My guy friends cannot believe what Trader does for me. They think it’s an abonination the lengths that Trader does to show how much he loves me, and how important I am to him. “I don’t prescribe to long-distance relationships,” … Continue reading

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Oh Your Cheating Heart

Italian Prime Minister Silvio Berlusconi has been caught multiple times with his pants down cheating on his wife. Actually, his vagrant exploits is published all around the Internet. You just cannot help but feel a tad sorry for his soon-to-be-divorced … Continue reading

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Our first lil’ tiff

“Why do I have a feeling that I’m in big trouble…?” Trader emailed me this morning. “Hmmm… because for a guy, you’re quite perceptive and observant?” I answered back. “I wouldn’t really say you’re in BIG trouble, but I wouldn’t … Continue reading

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When you have that gnawing feeling…

It’s a gnawing feeling. It burns deep inside. You look at his/her eyes, and wonder to yourself, “Is he/she really the One for me? How come I am not sure?” You ask your friend on how he’s so happy with … Continue reading

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Lost Boys

It amazes me that age has limited correlation to maturity. No matter how competent or professional a guy may seem at work, it doesn’t necessarily mean that he’s in a right place or time to pursue a woman for a stable … Continue reading

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Pampered Princess

Trader treats me like gold and makes it seem as if HE’D won a million bucks. “Every day I wake up feeling very happy that you’re with me,” he SMSd me this morning. “Here’s your good morning hug! Have a great day … Continue reading

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Breaking the Toxic Relationship Pattern

I’ve often wondered why how so many intelligent, competent and beautiful women remain single – while irritating bimbos get all the men? My Taiwanese best friend is an example. She’s smart, sexy and still single. Guys who’d go after her … Continue reading

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Why make things official?

Why make things official?  When my good friend posted photos of her and a Caucasian in semi-sweet positions on her Facebook account, as good as we are nosy, we immediately barraged her with teasing questions like, “Oh my, is that … Continue reading

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The Long, Hard Wait

The hardest thing I think for a woman is to do nothing. Gone are the days when women are asked to stay at home and reproduce. Now, the world has changed and with it, women stand side by side with … Continue reading

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The Plight of the Nice Guy

I feel terribly sorry for The Nice Guy. Really I do. There they are, pining for their women of their dreams as the latter get swept away by wild bad boys who will inevitably break their hearts into teeny-tiny pieces. The … Continue reading

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The one you love, or the one who loves you more?

Spent an emotional weekend with two of my boys and the difference between them couldn’t had been starker. Despite living in the same city as Trader, my ex-boyfriend only got to see me the day before I was supposed to leave. … Continue reading

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The Tale of Two Men

These days, I am enjoying the far too much the attention of two men. For a person who keeps on asking the readers of her blog if a guy’s interested, it’s a bit of a surprise when I can say … Continue reading

Posted in Dates, Friendship, Highly Commented, Men, Relationships | 13 Comments

The Art of Successful Pickups

Today I met someone who I knew would be very good in picking up women. He made an impression on me and for all jilted men out there who thinks that picking up a woman is difficult, this is for … Continue reading

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Bonita’s Loose Translation: Love According to…

Love according to Bob Ong 1. “Kung hindi mo mahal ang isang tao, wag ka nang magpakita ng motibo para mahalin ka nya..” If you don’t love a person, don’t give him a reason to love you as well.  2. … Continue reading

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My Confession: I am a workaholic

Yes, I admit it. I am a workaholic. I come to the morning early in the morning at 7:30 am to join in the morning meeting, and my day continues on from there. Checking my mail which pops every few … Continue reading

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Saying goodbye to 2008 — and hello to 2009!

2008 passed by so fast — where has it gone?  In a way, it seems that 2008 was the transitional year.  It was the year when I deepened my expertise in project and relationship management, in addition to actually making … Continue reading

Posted in Hong Kong Life, Interests, Men, Parties, Ramblings, Reflections, Relationships, Studies, Taipei life, Travels | 4 Comments

The Slow Disappear

I think I’m too rational for my own good — too logical, even-minded and fair. I had previously mentioned that men like drama. Sure, they get all pissed off and claim that their girl is psycho, but soon enough, you … Continue reading

Posted in Hong Kong Life, Men, Reflections, Relationships | 1 Comment

Dating: A process and not a marriage end-all/be-all

Did you know that I was completely single for three years before starting to date this man? Hence, contrary to my colorful dating exploits, am still such a baby when it comes to relationships and it shows. However, I’m gradually … Continue reading

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Funny…

My boyfriend and I are thinking of meeting up in a random country after two months of not seeing each other. He has a long weekend coming up in a few weeks, and we’ve been racking our brains for the … Continue reading

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What I Need in a Man

I WANT MORE Attention: I need to know you are present, hopefully in body, but especially in spirit. That means getting rid of the evil blackberry once in a while… Courage and tenacity to last: Nothing about the future is … Continue reading

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Being Carrie Bradshaw

 My friend thinks I’m like Carrie Bradshaw. “I’ve missed you so much,” he exclaimed when I had dinner with him last night. “You just say absolutely anything that comes to your mind and you’re so refreshingly open about it.” My … Continue reading

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Cursed?

Beauty and sex appeal can be a curse. Back in the Philippines, there was a popular rap song when I was younger. The chorus rang, “Humanap ka ng panget at ibigin mo ng tunay (Find somebody ugly to love and … Continue reading

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Staying Sane in an LDR

Wow, haven’t I been posting multiple entries about my relationship instead of my usual feel-good, you-go-girl type of posts weeks ago. How fast things have changed, and how this bothers me. “You really like him a lot,” my girlfriend accused. … Continue reading

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Recommends: “Why Men Love Bitches”

I’ve read quite a few I-Need-Help-in-my-Relationship books before, but this one takes the cake. There’s only one chapter that I did not agree in, which was when Sherry instructs women to act like useless females and pretend as if we … Continue reading

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Trepidation

I don’t feel like posting these days. My heart is heavy and my mouth slightly downturned these days. Trepidation. A word that brings dread to one’s heart. It’s like walking out from your building, looking at the dark hazy clouds … Continue reading

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Dear Hon (Part II),

I love you. I do. My love is the type most people dream about. It’s a love that gives me courage to persist even when situations are bleak, when times are tough and when things are uncertain. Mine is the love that lasts for a lifetime. There are days when I’m in love with you but loving you is a constant. It’s always there. Don’t ask me when I started loving you. I do now and choose you to be its receipient. Continue reading

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Settle? Hell no!

“I’d settle for anyone,” my girlfriend the Actress wistfully moaned. “You’re very lucky Bonita but at least you have choices. It’s just that you don’t want your choices but at least you have SOME.” “Yes, but then again, if you … Continue reading

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Too much honesty?

Books had always advised us to play hard to get. To not show our true selves. To not call even if we want to. To pretend we are someone we’re not just to get someone to like us. Today, I’ve … Continue reading

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How do you know if a guy likes you?

Do you know what women usually talk about when we have our “girl talks?” Sure, we talk about the latest gossip and career plans, but basically, we also like to talk about relationships-who we’re dating, who is interested in us … Continue reading

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Dear hon,

It’s hard to be in a long distance relationship with you. It’s tough. Especially for someone as tactile as I am, I’ve come to realize the past few days just how much I crave human contact. When I feel your … Continue reading

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So is this love?

A man whispers sweet nothings to your ear. His voice sounds sure. “I really really like you,” he murmurs. “From the moment I first talked to you, I immediately liked you. I’ve never been so sure in my life.” “I … Continue reading

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Bored of the other?

“Go to rest now,”  I said as we said our goodbyes today. “We’ll just talk tomorrow.” He had the beginnings of a bad flu and after staying up till the wee hours of the morning talking yesterday, I felt that … Continue reading

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Fate

It’s my belief that Fate has a hand to play in how our lives flow. Back when I was in university, I vowed to myself not to work in a computer company and a bank, mistakenly assuming that these would … Continue reading

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The Beginning of an End

There are times when you cherish being single. These are some of those days. It’s often times disturbing how many couples come together and break up, and there you are, standing on the side, being this lil’ bystander, observing without … Continue reading

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Knowing my Future Husband

I sometimes feel that I am waiting for my better half. Where is he now? What is he doing? Has he thought of me as I have sometimes thought of him? A fortune teller once told me that I’d meet … Continue reading

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The Hardest Thing to Do…?

…Is to just hold your head up high, and LET GO. You asked, you begged and he still doesn’t care enough to say yes? If it’s so hard to even convince him to do something simple for you, then what’s … Continue reading

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Heartbreaker or Ego-Buster?

I bumped into a guy last Saturday at a party. In his drunken state, he was surprisingly honest. “You made me feel like crap,” he said. “When you didn’t show up, you made me feel like shit.”Admitedly, I’ve never stood … Continue reading

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Is he interested?

Here’s what Evan Marc Katz has to say about this topic: So how will you know that he’s interested in you? He’ll call you as soon as possible to make plans to see you again. That’s it. Any other excuse … Continue reading

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Let’s Talk About Sex

I’ve noticed that my blog delves in the topics of men, friendships, relationships, work and other stuff that pop into mind now and then. However, I’ve never really talked about the taboo topic of sex. *feels some readers cringing* Yes, … Continue reading

Posted in Personal opinion, Relationships, Taiwanese women, Things I Ponder About | 3 Comments

Just for Fun?

The weirdest place I’ve ever met a guy in was at the Alexander Gym. Back when it was still in operation, Alexander Gym was a place I frequented three times a week. Sometimes, I’d go to their pilates classes, while … Continue reading

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If Finding a Boyfriend is like Buying a PC…

…then I’m royally screwed. 🙁 As you already know, I need to upgrade to a new laptop because 1) mine is 4 years old and it’s time for a change, and 2) unfortunately, I have to make the change fast … Continue reading

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The Ladder Theory

Flute’s comment reminds me of the Ladder Theory. In his comment, he writes, “Please forget the idea that these guys see you neutral. You may have put them already in the friend zone, but they don’t, I am sure. Personally … Continue reading

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This and That

Okay, I succuumbed. I’m a sucker for deals and after getting the second letter from Chunghwa Telecom that I’m one of their platinum subscribers (guess all those NT$1,000++ bills paid off) and deserve a fresh mobile phone at a NT$1,500 … Continue reading

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White Flag

Today was weird. Every friend that I met today had warned me against SimpleGuy. Not because he ain’t cool, ’cause Top Climber who knows SimpleGuy personally thinks the world of him. “He’s a cool kid, Raven,” Top Climber commented. “But … Continue reading

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Easygoing is boring

I’d like to believe I’m a pretty easy going person. Most of my friends have no qualms hanging out with me for a longer period of time. I would like to think I can listen well, am open to feedback, … Continue reading

Posted in Men, Relationships, Things I Ponder About | 3 Comments

Dear Looney,

Let me tell you what I can’t tell you in person — you are one of the most incredible man I’ve ever met. Incredible not that I want to hump you. Truth be told, the thought had fleetingly crossed my … Continue reading

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Madea’s Pearls of Wisdom

Sorry if I was down in the dumps today in my blog post. Just to clear things up, things are so far bright and cheery with SimpleGuy. We’re both taking our sweet time in getting to know each other, and … Continue reading

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Mien Bao or Ai?

I just had a fun time with Simple Guy today as we first got lost trying to find the Martyr Shrine, then afterwards strolling around the park joking and talking. Check out a few cool photos — beautiful aren’t they?Hey, … Continue reading

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You know what?

I can never truly tell when a guy is interested in me. “How can you be sure?” I’ve asked more than a gazillion times to my unfortunate best guy friend. “Well, usually, they’ll be very nice to you,” he’ll say. … Continue reading

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Wet Season

Is it just me or is March just an auspicious month for attracting men?! After months and months of dating dry season, all of a sudden, I’ve been showered with attention from a handful of guys. The weird thing is, … Continue reading

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A Big Difference

I realize now the big difference of going out with somebody just because they asked, and spending the day with someone because you are really interested. Last week, I went out for delicious Indian fare with MidBoss (not his real … Continue reading

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Anger Issues

A Taiwanese friend of mine broke up with her HongKong-based Persian boyfriend recently. He accused her of possibly cheating on him because she was still in touch with her ex-boyfriend. Now, “in touch” by definition is her forwarding Happy Chinese … Continue reading

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Reunion

I met up with some former high school classmates last night for dinner at the popular Serendra in Makati. It’s amazing on how much we’ve grown over the last 9 years. Bee is now working in the family business and … Continue reading

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Falling in "love"

M. Scott Peck’s words gave me much-needed solace after a relationship ended late 2005. It reminded me what love is, and what love is not. For one, I’ve never held the belief that love is a feeling. At the beginnings … Continue reading

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