Category Archives: Relationships

Wives: We are the Problem!

I am a part of a popular mommy group. Many of them complain about their husbands. A few complain of their husband’s addiction to video games. “I am exhausted and take care of the baby 24/7, while his nose is … Continue reading

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When your husband annoys you during a Coldplay concert

Years before, I told myself that if Coldplay was holding a concert in the same country, I would definitely watch it. Apparently, they’re one of the few bands that put on a great show and authentically sing in their concerts. So … Continue reading

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Mien Bao (Bread) huo Ai (Love)?

In Taiwan, there’s a saying, “面包或爱.” This literally mean, “bread or money.” This implied that if we’re lucky, we can have both. But if we’re not, we may have to choose between marrying for love or money. By ourselves, we are complete … Continue reading

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To save your marriage, love your MIL… even if it kills you

My staff has recently married after a short engagement. When I asked her about her marriage, she commented that she feels embarrassed when her mother-in-law (MIL) does her laundry. Her MIL is a housewife and used to do her husband’s laundry when he … Continue reading

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How to Make Your Wife Happy

When my baby was born, I was caught up with babywearing, and hoarded carriers. My mom bought me an Ergobaby 360 before our daughter was born, and since it was too hot and bulky, we bought the Baby K’Tan for … Continue reading

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Do You Have a Prenup?

My brother is marrying his girlfriend next month. While other men experience the 7-year itch, brother has chosen to forget the itch and actually put a ring on it. And when two families get together, there are legalities both sides … Continue reading

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How Motherhood Changed Me…

I remember going back from the hospital after giving birth to our baby girl. It was such an overwhelming moment. You feel awash with a sense of responsibility. That it’s no longer about you anymore. That it’s now about HER. To be … Continue reading

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All Failed Relationships Lead You to the Right One

The first guy I dated worked as a waiter, became a restaurant cook and ended up to be a holistic masseuse in Japan. He was a high school graduate who felt he was inferior against college graduates because they have a degree and … Continue reading

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How do you know you’ve found the Right One?

Answer: “You just know.” And before you strangle me for giving you a typical B.S. answer, let me implore you to think more about how deep that answer is. First, majority of people who’ve found The One say it, and say it … Continue reading

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Protected: When you thought you were sick

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Getting Married > Being Happy

My friend asked me why it’s so hard to find a lasting relationship. She is already 38 years old, and have just broken up with her Korean-American boyfriend of 9 months. They have had a long distance relationship. Her ultimate dream … Continue reading

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Date Nights

“I haven’t gotten laid for days!” I grumbled to my husband as we got ready for another new day. “But we were sick… and exhausted!” he defended himself. “You were zonked out the other day because you were so tired!” “I still need … Continue reading

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What Type of Girl Finds Boyfriends Easily

I’ve noticed that there are some women who will simply end up with a man. While there are some with prolonged dry spells and are single even in their late 30s. I noticed one characteristic that many women who actually have boyfriends … Continue reading

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Couple Envy

There is what you call, “Business envy.” Business envy is when you wish you are in another business because you are envious of the profits and success that business entails. I have a little bit what you call, “Couple envy.” … Continue reading

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Top 5 Reasons Why Couples Divorce Very Quickly

It is every girl’s dream to be married. From the time they were young, they dream of wearing the perfect dress, walking down the aisle to a song they’ve picked from high school, looking to the crying eyes of her Prince Charming. … Continue reading

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How to Keep Sane — Prioritize Only 3 Things!

“Why does it seem as if time flies?” I asked my husband during lunch today. “I really wish that there are more than 24 hours in a day.” After I got married, I found myself short on time. But I am always … Continue reading

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Stalkerish Much?

Unlike many women, I like accompanying my husband everywhere he goes. My mom used to go with my father everywhere so history repeats itself. A friend used to tell me that the one time that my father went to Europe without … Continue reading

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How Important is Sexual Compatibility? (Warning: NSFW)

It’s Sunday, and I’m in a good mood. Plus the Fifty Shades of Grey movie is coming out this week. So I will honestly answer what many people want to ask but are afraid to. “How important is sexual compatibility in a relationship? … Continue reading

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Have you found your “Soul Equal?”

This has been reprinted from Debra Faith Warshaw’s article, “There is Something Better Than Finding a Soulmate“ I find this article quite accurate. With ex-boyfriend Trader, I was the more dominant partner. Frankly, I felt he was holding me down, and … Continue reading

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Husband’s Guest Post — “My Wife Drives Me Nuts”

Does your mom, dad or sibling have a particular habit that just simply drives you nuts? Burping out loud, leaving the door open, cluttered mess… these sort of things? Now, take these irritations and multiply it by at least ten. … Continue reading

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Technology is EVIL

After over five months of marriage, Hubby and I remain happy and content in our togetherness. He still makes me coffee every morning and massages my tired feet every night. He helps clean the shower (I never seem to get … Continue reading

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My Husband Speaks — “Hello World!”

“I have something to tell you but don’t get mad,” my ex-girlfriend told me. “Because my ex-boyfriend went berserk when he found out about it.” “Unless you happen to be a professional drug lord kingpin or an axe murderer, I … Continue reading

Posted in Dates, Favorite Posts, Filipino Men/Women, First Days of Marriage, Guest Post, Husband, Life lessons, Lists, Marriage, Ramblings, Reflections, Relationships | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | 1 Comment

Marriage is all about Compromise

Marriage is all about compromise. For me, it’s about getting my hot Nespresso coffee made fresh by my husband every morning. For him, it’s about me letting him get that extra 10 minutes of sleep in the morning. For me, it’s about … Continue reading

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Me: The Green Eyed Monster

“I’m sorry, but you’ve had a cancelled line before and Globe cannot process your application for new phone lines if you don’t pay your bill,” the friendly customer service personnel informed my husband. “Huh? What do you mean?” my husband … Continue reading

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Edric Mendoza — Many Women’s God’s Best

“Eeeeee! He’s on TV!” my husband shakes me as he sees Edric Mendoza on TV. If you are wondering what is causing my husband’s excitement, here is a photo of Edric Mendoza that I’ve gotten on the Internet: Cute, ey? Bespectacled, … Continue reading

Posted in Christian Life, Family, Filipino Men/Women, Finance, First Days of Marriage, Husband, Marriage, Men, Reflections, Relationships | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Does God answer prayer?

My husband and I are born-again Christians. In the evening, we try our best to have quiet time together, reading a few chapters in the Bible and reflecting on what they mean. Afterwards, we say a little prayer thanking the Lord … Continue reading

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What would happen if I didn’t marry my husband

I was thinking about what my life would be if I did not marry my husband. If I married my first boyfriend, it would’ve been a loveless marriage.  It was a one-sided relationship which started wrongly — with Michan first … Continue reading

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6 Reasons Why Women Are Still Single

I have a lot of single girl friends. And they’re worried. They’re worried that they don’t have anyone special in their lives. They’re worried that they won’t find The One. They’re worried that they’ll be single forever. I have a lot of girl … Continue reading

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Enjoying Corporate Overseas OR Come Back and Build Your Own Business in Manila (Extra: The Hard and Joys of Coming Back Home)

So many of you have wondered whether you should give up your nice cushy job abroad and come back to the Philippines to start your own business. Having done both — going corporate and being self-employed — I feel I’m in the … Continue reading

Posted in Business, Family, Favorite Posts, Filipino Men/Women, Hong Kong Life, Life lessons, Personal opinion, Philippines, Ramblings, Reflections, Relationships, Taipei life, Work | Tagged , , , , , , , , | 2 Comments

Dear XXX — The first days of marriage

Dear XXX, How are you?! It’s true what you said before. After marriage, you’ll miss your parents (or in my case, my mom) a lot. I didn’t shed tears or try to run home to her, but there were times … Continue reading

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Buy One, Take One

My mom today SMS’d me to ask if I would be available to attend with her my uncle’s 94th birthday. If I was, she can pick me up at 6pm. I asked if my husband is included. She said, given … Continue reading

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Why Can’t You Have It All?

Marriage is tough. The first week of my marriage, I felt stuck. “This is for the rest of my life!!!” my mind screamed. As a Christian and married to a twice married man, I knew that divorce for us was … Continue reading

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So How Does It Feel to be Married?

June 14, 2014 We are two weeks into our marriage, and I’m writing this entry enroute to Amsterdam, our first stop on our extensive 3-week European honeymoon trip. So how does it feel to be Mrs. XXXX? For one, it’s … Continue reading

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The Tinghun List

Praise the Lord that my future in-laws are so good. As per Chinese tradition, they are gifting me with a semi-traditional engagement party (tinghun). Whereas in many Filipino-Chinese families, tinghuns are no longer mandatory, they’re still definitely a nice to have. … Continue reading

Posted in Boyfriend, Conflicts, Family, Family Drama, Favorite Posts, Filipino Men/Women, Philippines, Relationships, Updates, Wedding saga | Tagged , , , , , | 4 Comments

I’m Not Perfect — Are You?

When I was in Hong Kong, most guys never really bent on bended knee to ask a girl to marry him. It happened, sure, but not like here in the Philippines where a guy dates a girl a few months … Continue reading

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Wedding Prep is NOT a Fairy Tale

Most women dreamt about their wedding since they were young. They’ve leafed through wedding magazines, pinned their favorite colors and motifs on Pinterest, and started random conversations with, “If I got married…” No, not me. Actually, the first time I’ve … Continue reading

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Boyfriend Proposed…

…last weekend. It was during awarding, at the largest and most prestigious car show in the Philippines. My company’s car won third place, while his won second. After receiving our prizes, he gave a short speech about how I was his … Continue reading

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“Whoops, I’m Accidentally Pregnant”

A friend of mine got his girlfriend pregnant. According to her, it was a “Whoops!” moment. “Yes, need to save up because the baby’s on the way,” he sheepishly said. They have already been dating for 7 years. The last time … Continue reading

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My Brother Has Crossed the Line and Became Unethical

Irrefutable fact: My boyfriend has brought in a new category of products to the Philippines. Before he brought it in, that product was non-existent. On a grand gesture, he offered my brother to be his official distributor last January, but … Continue reading

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The Night We Got Pulled Over By Cops for Lewd Behavior

Boyfriend and I went to the Top Gear Philippines party last night at Prive in Fort Bonifacio. Everything who’s a who’s who in the car industry was there. After the party, Boyfriend took me home. And of course, after an … Continue reading

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Happy birthday to ME!

It’s that time of the year again where I celebrate yet another birthday. Honestly, I feel I’m growing old way too fast and find myself trying to hold on desperately to my youth. I mean, where the heck did my … Continue reading

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Do You Still Find the Opposite Sex Attractive While in a Loving Relationship?

I’m a Libra, with my birthday coming up next week. Among the zodiac, Libras are known to be fun, playful and slightly flirtatious. We like to pretty ourselves a lot, and if unaware, you can always catch us checking ourselves … Continue reading

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When Parental Guidance Become Toxic

When two people get together, they create themselves a bubble. They come up with their own cheesy languages and nicknames. They tell themselves inside jokes only they can understand. And they interact as if there’s nobody else in the room. They … Continue reading

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I am NOT Passive Aggressive

I’m the opposite of passive aggressive. By definition according to Urban Dictionary, Passive Aggressiveness is “a defense mechanism that allows people who aren’t comfortable of being openly aggressive to still get what they want under the guise of still trying … Continue reading

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Who would have known I’d learn something from Tim Gunn?

I’m sure you know who Tim Gunn is. He’s one of Project Runway’s mentors and co-hosts beside Heidi Klum, and was one of the faculty of the Parsons School of Design from 1982 to 2007, chairing its fashion design department … Continue reading

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Neither Here Nor There – What Happens in a Relationship Limbo?

It’s amazing just how much women settle in order to find and keep love. Last night, I met a 28-year old woman who works in real estate. She was complaining about her dire love life. “I like this guy, but … Continue reading

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Lies that Keep you Single

A friend of mine shared the following article: “3 Lies That You Tell Yourself to Keep Yourself Single.” These are the following: I will never find a man who’ll love me. I’m not worthy of a great love. I will die … Continue reading

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Purity Ring and MORE

Last weekend, Boyfriend, with all the solemness he could muster, gave me a purity ring. As you all know, Boyfriend and I have been attending Christian pre-engagement, pre-marital counseling. As part of our curriculum, we were asked to preserve our … Continue reading

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They’re Engaged!!!

My Bible Group Leader just got engaged after less than 2 months of dating. It was announced just today via Facebook of all things, and so far, the status update is now at 200 congratulations and counting! 🙂 I always … Continue reading

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Don’t Look for Love. Look for the Right Person to Fall in Love With.

The average age for a Filipino to get married is 22.6 years old. For men, it’s at a higher 25.8 years. For people in richer, urban areas, expect this number to be higher, say 26 to 28 years old for … Continue reading

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Too Fast, Too Soon?

A friend of mine shared that her and her boyfriend broke up a few weeks ago. They’ve been dating for more than half a year. Understandably, she was devastated. I think hers is a case of giving up too much, … Continue reading

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Dumpy, Dumpy?

Three years into her relationship, the girlfriend simply started to let go. She would wear flip-flops to the office. Started relaxing on that diet and gained weight here and there. Got fat. Wore dumpy clothes because tight clothes were uncomfortable, … Continue reading

Posted in Filipino Men/Women, Ramblings, Relationships | 2 Comments

Happy monthsary!

On my last relationship, the first few months was bumpy. Without any reason at all, I was constantly frustrated and picked a fight the night before one of us would fly to each other. Consequently, our dates weren’t usually off … Continue reading

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A Leap of Faith

Life is but a constant leap of faith. If you’re not really closing your eyes and making a few leaps once in a while, you probably ain’t living your life to the full. –-Bonita The last two days had been … Continue reading

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Taxi Theory in the Philippines

Everyone who’s a fan of Sex and the City knows about the encompassing Taxi Theory. As stated by the great romantic cynic, Miranda Hobbes, “Men are like cabs. When they’re ready to get married, they turn their light on. The next woman they pick … Continue reading

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I am glad I didn’t marry earlier

This wonderful article, Do Not Marry Before Age 30, pretty much sums up how I feel about marriage. Sure, you might blame me for copping out, telling me that I could only feel this way because I wasn’t lucky enough to … Continue reading

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Mommy Time – 2x a Week!

Context: Ever since my dad passed away last February, my brother and I had been happy to invite and take my mom out for dinner, for movies, and elsewhere. This helps her avoid depression since my parents have always been … Continue reading

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Reprint: Which Male Archetype Are You?

1. The Needy Guy He is overly emotional and shares all his feelings with  her right away. The Needy Guy also doubts himself and needs constant reassurance  about his relationship, work and friendships. Why he is so  unappealing: Confidence and … Continue reading

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Update: Three Months and Everyone’s Pressuring Us to Get Married!

Boyfriend and I had been blissfully dating for the last three months. At this point in time, he is now automatically invited to family events and dinners, and vice versa. The funny thing though, everyone around us — my mom, … Continue reading

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Talking of the Future

I joined my boyfriend’s family last night for dinner at the Marriott Hotel buffet. This is nice — When your boyfriend’s parents like having you around, as you are blessed to be in their company. “This is how an ideal relationship … Continue reading

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Changing for Love?

My Taiwanese sister, who is a lot like me, is in an unhappy relationship. This is what she said: “His family is traditional.” “He wants me to be his ‘house’ wife, to cook breakfast, lunch and dinner for him. He gives me … Continue reading

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To Conclude the Trader Story…

At the risk of sounding defensive, I feel that I have to clear a few things up with you guys regarding my last relationship. While trying to remain the better person and keeping my mouth shut and my fingers at … Continue reading

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What type of marriage would you want?

My family is still at the camp that as marriage is one of the most important decisions you’ll ever make, they’d rather that we be single than marry the wrong person, grandkids or not. I’ve actually seen how marriage can … Continue reading

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I Like the Fact…

I like the fact that he celebrates a balanced woman. The fact that he wants a woman to be intelligent and capable, and to help out with the family business whenever necessary. And not just to be a simple “housewife” … Continue reading

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Have you ever been in a ‘useless’ relationship?

Have you ever been in a useless relationship? You know, the type of relationship where you know there’s a definite expiry date and an ending? The one where you got in just for the hell of it fully knowing that … Continue reading

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Is “Nice” Enough to Make A Relationship?

People always think its better to date a nice guy. At least, he would never really hurt you. He can’t. He’s just too “nice.” Well, I did actually dated a guy because he was nice. Of course, the cute factor … Continue reading

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Breakup Etiquette: would you return the expensive gifts your ex gave you…

…if the reason you broke up was because you had a third party? Some people in my life had asked me to ask Trader for some of the gifts I gave him back. at the least, the most expensive ones. … Continue reading

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How to Make A Girl Like YOU

This is so true… Tried and tested… if you like someone: Step 1: Find a way to “connect” with them. In the Philippines, it’s easy enough so long as you have her number. Be non-threatening and start with a simple, … Continue reading

Posted in Favorite Posts, Friendship, Men, Reflections, Relationships | Tagged | 5 Comments

“Why? Why? Why?”

In the aftermath of a breakup, we tend to ask ourselves repeatedly, “Why?” We look into ourselves for answers. We ask other people. We even at times implore our exes to share what we did to have them lose attraction … Continue reading

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Back in the Dating Scene?

A month after my breakup… wow, how time flies. It hasn’t been an easy journey but oh, how invigorating the process was. Over the last four weeks, I’ve done a lot of self-reflection, making changes where I saw fit. And … Continue reading

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What people told me today that gave me some level of comfort

My mom: “So Bonita if I were you, I would thank God for taking away Trader. Anyway if he either comes back by himself or by you calling him again, thank God for changing Trader and making him strong enough … Continue reading

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No Contact is Tough

For someone I’ve been talking to in a daily basis for 2.5 years, just going cold turkey is kinda tough. You for moments wonder what’s going on with them. Luckily, I haven’t stopped living my life after I got into … Continue reading

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Getting Married?

Trader’s 26-year old little sis is getting married today. Or is already married if we followed Asian times. His sister is pretty cute/hot/beautiful. She’s not that tall, but has this lovely almond shaped head and eyes. She looks like a … Continue reading

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My best friend’s crash and burn

My best friend said that her new romance had crashed and burned. It was only a month or two since it began. She is a senior resident at a hospital. The guy is a junior resident with a complicated past. … Continue reading

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How did you deal with your breakup?

My friend is mourning… Her ex broke up with her three months ago, citing “I just don’t see you in my future.” Afterwards, she proceeded to de-friend him from Facebook and he proceeded to de-friend all her mutual acquaintances from … Continue reading

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Before us (BU) and After us (AU)

Trader is in Bali with his friends, many of whom would be new. I am honestly unsure on how to handle it. Trader has never really been on a vacation with his friends — many of whom are new — … Continue reading

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Relationships are all about sacrifice

Today, Trader met my parents for the second time. The last time left a bad taste in both sides’ mouth. Trader was darn scared of my dad and felt that my father was a tad unappreciative and selfish (which btw, … Continue reading

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ONE rule to remember when choosing a parther: Pick someone who treats you right

A friend of mine messaged me for a talk. For some reason, friends would call me for no-bullshit advice on love and relationships. As it turns out, my friend who is a he, was in serious like over a great-looking … Continue reading

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How I met my ex…

I’ve always believed that talking has helped me deal with my problems. It’s actually if I don’t talk about my issues that they are left to fester and grow. We don’t want that of course. So let me tell you … Continue reading

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Four Types of Men – Which one is your significant other?

A married classmate told me, there were four types of men you’ll meet in your life (Men: you can use this for women too!): 1) The man who loves you the most. 2) The man whom you love the most. … Continue reading

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Loving Rachel Zoe!

“To be honest, there are a million people out there waiting to see me fail. It makes for a better story. It’s what people want to see. They don’t like success stories. So I have to work much harder to … Continue reading

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Would you break up with your partner because he is cheap?

My friend wants to breakup with her high-profile boyfriend because surprisingly, he is not a generous person. Okay, so that’s me becoming more diplomatic and politically correct. In Bonita’s wording, he is cheap. Yes, cheap. “My friend’s sex buddy treats … Continue reading

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Cold feet – got it?

My best friend just broke up with her boyfriend of four years three weeks ago. Out of the blue, he sent her an SMS saying that “He wanted time to think.” Troubled, she gave him a call and he told … Continue reading

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Feeling pressured after meeting the parents

Hi Bonita, How did you survive this weekend with your in laws. Please share. Love, mom REPLY: Dear mom, The weekend went really well. Trader’s family is just very warm, loving and I left the weekend feeling very loved and … Continue reading

Posted in Boyfriend, Family, Hong Kong Life, Mom's advice, Ramblings, Rants, Relationships | 3 Comments

The death of the romantic boyfriend

Written last February 11 and wasn’t posted: Trader flying over to Hong Kong tomorrow for our once-a-month-let’s-see-each-other trip, romantic. The fact that he’s informed me not to have any expectations for a gift because he didn’t have any. Trader doesn’t … Continue reading

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A lot of people want to get married – but fail to ask the right questions…

It’s been said that we ask more questions when we’re purchasing a big ticket item like a car or a house, than about the guy we want to get married to. Take my older sister for example, she was old … Continue reading

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The Breakup Letter

 Fact: I am very happy that you’re flying here. I’ve missed you and it’ll be great to see you again.   My mind is just exhausted from Spring semester but let me try to explain myself. What I’ve heard … Continue reading

Posted in Boyfriend, Hong Kong Life, Relationships | 7 Comments

How my LDR works

When people hear that I’m in a long distance relationship, their mouths go agape and immediately forecast impending doom. “Oooh, long distance relationships does NOT work. How can you be far apart from each other THAT long?” I sincerely don’t … Continue reading

Posted in Boyfriend, Dates, Life lessons, Personal opinion, Relationships | 3 Comments

Finding a job and a boyfriend is more or less the same

The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that finding love and an internship/job is more or less the same. Here are the many ways: 1) The one you end up with may be the least you’d … Continue reading

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What if his parents hate you?

Those who’s been reading my blog know that Trader’s parents don’t like me as much. They have done all they can to discourage him from dating me even to the point of once giving the ultimatum that he had to … Continue reading

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Reprint: Why Chinese Girlfriends Are Superior (By Chinese Girlfriend)

A lot of foreign girlfriends I meet wonder how Chinese girlfriends have such doting boyfriends. They wonder about the dynamics of these relationships that produce boyfriends who are attentive, adoring, and even willing to do all household chores. Often, these … Continue reading

Posted in Relationships, Reprints | 4 Comments

What I did in 2010… (Part I)

2010 had been a year of new beginnings and many changes. Here’s a brief rundown: January 2010: Trader and I had already been together for the last eight months and our relationship is rocky. We fight a lot because he … Continue reading

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What’s the point of hiding? :)

Classmates can be crazy at times. They think that we don’t know, but actually, we do. Take for example, if you secretly hold hands while going out with us in Wanchai, of course, there’s a chance someone would see, right? … Continue reading

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A woman in her late 30s…

As I reach the big 3-0 this year, it’s harder not to feel nostalgic and somewhat afraid of the future. Will I ever get married? Is a normal family life or me, or will I be more like those women … Continue reading

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More options = better?

“Does it frustrate you that you only have one body/life/job/girlfriend?” I nonchalantly asked Trader. I have this silly tendency of asking totally random questions which trouble him very much. “I mean, for example, per day, despite the many options you … Continue reading

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“It’s Complicated”

It’s funny – a month after starting MBA, some long-term, long-distances are starting to unravel. Whilst many people came into an MBA in a relationship, for some reason, a handful are now either “on a break,” or reverted to a … Continue reading

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No… no… no…!

It’s started. It’s when relationships start getting complicated, and people who came in with a significant other consider messing around. I wonder what is it that makes someone consider switching sides? Is it the close proximity that MBA students have … Continue reading

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Are Crushes Dangerous?

I’m thinking about writing a post on crushes. But posts like these often times get me to trouble. Different from when we were younger, crushes are no longer as harmless as they seem. Especially if you’re already in a committed … Continue reading

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So how to keep a relationship while in MBA?

I was talking to one grad student today and she mentioned that she was part of the “statistic.” When I asked her what she meant, she mentioned that she was one of the many who came in business school with … Continue reading

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Consulting Me vs. Telling Me

Today’s argument came from the least likeliest of places. Trader was telling me that his friends were inviting him to go to Bhutan and said, “I’d love to go to Bhutan.” Now, a man could always want to go to … Continue reading

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