As a working mom, do you get angry or annoyed when the non-working moms say “I left my career to raise my child”? How do you manage this situation?

My response: “Good luck! I hope it turns out to be a good decision for you.”

I honestly think not working is a luxury.

It means that someone else, not you, is bringing food on the table.

As children increasingly become expensive given education, food, upbringing, etc., there really has to be someone who brings home the bacon.

Usually it’s the husband.

However, I personally do not like to be completely and financially dependent on a man.

Yes I know my husband is wonderful, but seriously, it’s my life we are talking about. Our family and mine.

Here are the problems in depending on someone else for financial support?

What if my husband loses his job?

So he has to be stuck in his job because he needs food on the table. He will resent me for forcing him to work.

What if my husband cheats on you?

How can a woman live if she has kids and no means of financial support?

What if your husband dies unexpectedly?

So now you have to force yourself to leave your kids and go back to work? How high will be your salary after being out of the workforce for 20 years?

Life surprises us. I don’t want to be caught off guard. I want to be ready.

A friend was a stay-at-home wife.

She met her husband in university.

After they graduated, they both worked.

When it was obvious the man’s career was doing better than hers, he encouraged her to quit her job and be a stay-at-home wife.

She supported him through his career, and moved their family from the Philippines to Taiwan to New York.

She is in her early 50s now, and she discovered that her husband who became the head of a business division, was cheating on her with someone he worked with.

Angry and insulted, she confronted him.

He just laughed at her and challenged her to leave.

All the money was made by him, managed by him and dispensed by him.

Literally she had no money, no job, weak working experience.

She didn’t leave.

She couldn’t leave.

She doesn’t know what to do. She had nowhere to go, nobody to help and no money for legal action.

Thats what happens when you’re financially dependent on someone else all your life.

I personally don’t like to hand over my life to someone else.

I think of my future and my my child’s future.

Given that I am equally capable and very much hire-able, I want to financially secure myself and my kids.

Because I don’t want to be placed in a position where I am with a guy just because he brings home the bacon.

I want to have the freedom to leave if he gets abusive.

I want to have the money for better childcare.

I want my children to go to better schools.

I want my children to see how hard I work for us.

I want my children to know it’s possible to work and still love them at the same time.

So good luck.

And from the bottom of my heart, I really hope giving up your career is truly the right decision for you and your family.

About Bonita

I'm a forgetful person. But I think a lot. Every day, a lot of thoughts enter my head. That's why this blog came to be: first, to keep my memories alive through the years, and two, to actually see how I and my thoughts have changed. Please note that I seldom draft or edit my posts. Sometimes, if I'm not careful, I offend some of you, my readers. And while I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable, I am not sorry for being honest or for making well-intentioned mistakes. I will however be the first to admit if I change my mind. Hence, do read and proceed with caution. My life is as colorful and as boring as you make it. I complain many days, but offer some encouragement in others. Life is fluid, it changes. So keep the positives and throw away the negatives, and I do hope that at the end of the day, you will enjoy reading the blog and leaving comments here and there if my posts touches you. Happy reading!
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