When your Baby Dies inside You

The doctor called it a “missed abortion.”

I started spotting last Friday. It continued on Saturday. And I finally saw my OB today.

She asked me to do a pelvic ultrasound.

Petrified, we went this afternoon.

The result.

Our baby is dead.

It should have been 14 weeks old.

The ultrasound said the size of our baby was 10 weeks, 6 days.

Apparently, it has been dead inside me the last 3 weeks.

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Why did it die?” I asked. I think I shed a tear. This is a good time to be philosophical.

There was no heart beat.

The embryo just wasn’t viable,” the OB at the ultrasound clinic said. “Maybe there was a defect, or there was something wrong with the sperm and egg.”

We don’t know whether we should be happy or sad: We lost a baby.

It’s highly possible that the baby just wasn’t strong enough.

Maybe it was defective and the Lord just willed it to stop living.

If the baby wasn’t strong, would you still have willed it to live? Or was it just better for it to die this way.

I don’t know what happened, but this came out of my feed today:

Our baby is dead.

It’s not meant to be.

We will deal with Spud later on. We will try again in a few months.

But we will mourn it today.

Have a good week everyone!

About Bonita

I'm a forgetful person. But I think a lot. Every day, a lot of thoughts enter my head. That's why this blog came to be: first, to keep my memories alive through the years, and two, to actually see how I and my thoughts have changed. Please note that I seldom draft or edit my posts. Sometimes, if I'm not careful, I offend some of you, my readers. And while I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable, I am not sorry for being honest or for making well-intentioned mistakes. I will however be the first to admit if I change my mind. Hence, do read and proceed with caution. My life is as colorful and as boring as you make it. I complain many days, but offer some encouragement in others. Life is fluid, it changes. So keep the positives and throw away the negatives, and I do hope that at the end of the day, you will enjoy reading the blog and leaving comments here and there if my posts touches you. Happy reading!
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One Response to When your Baby Dies inside You

  1. Mason Wu says:

    Sorry to hear it, but I believe that the God has a plan and it may be a fortune for you and for the baby.

    If the baby is borne, he or she may suffer from many diseases which could be a huge physical and mental torture for you and the baby, so it is decided not to be borne.

    Thanks for all your sharing and wish you all the best!

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