When I was dating my now-husband at 32 years old, my future father-in-law chided me, “But you’re not a spring chicken anymore!”
I wasn’t insulted as much as I was amused.
In the end, I had the last laugh.
I married his only son at age 33, had a child by the time I hit age 35, and still happily married at age 37.
My best girlfriend is encountering the same issues as I did. At 39 years old, she is gregarious, super sexy, easy going and yet very single.
So why is she still single, you ask?
Maybe it’s because of bad luck? She wasted a lot of time dating a string of idiots who was totally incompatible to her.
One was a Korean IT consultant who had mother issues and disappeared every time he felt stressed. Every time they would fight, he would literally disappear until weeks later when he would text her again to say hi.
The other was a Hong Kong teacher who wanted a housewife. He asked her to be at his beck and call, waking up early to go to the market to buy the freshest vegetables, cook for his lunch during lunch break, and then be waiting for him until he got back from school (work) to once again cater to his needs.
When she moved to Singapore, she dated a Kiwi dude with serious anger issues. He was stressed and anxious all the time, and wanted to be in control. Every time he wasn’t, he would shout at her. At one time, he told her to get out of his house, leaving her outside his apartment door crying, just because she got back late to cook him dinner.
Apparently, being late to cook him dinner was such a serious offense and is considered as her not caring enough for his health and well-being.
I would have dumped him right then and there — I am not a dog you tell to get out whenever you want to.
She spent an extra 6 more months with him.
Now, she has another suitor.
Unlike her other boyfriends, he initiates contact and accompanies her when she goes shopping. When she was in town, he tried to spend as much time with her.
“J makes me fat!” she would complain as he takes her to another nice restaurant.
On other days, she asked me why J was texting her all the time.
“What does he say?” I ask her.
“Well, he tells me about his day…” she replied. “As if I want to know that he went to a car club meet or to the gym.”
“She must be the densest woman on earth!” my husband said. “She should know by now that J is interested.”
That’s what ligaw or courtmanship is here in the Philippines.
If a guy is interested, he will try as much as possible to get to know the woman. He will try to spend time with her and shower her with attention up until she agrees to be his girlfriend or break his heart.
“Most girls eventually give in if the guy is sincere enough,” my mom scoffed. “It’s just about enough time and effort.”
I don’t know…
Superficial as it may seem, J is not as tall or as fair. And he’s a bit stocky.
“He snores…. LOUD,” my friend complained. “I’m a light sleeper so he keeps me up at night literally! I can’t sleep!”
I wonder if heavy snoring is a deal breaker.
As a heavy snorer myself, I too have worried about finding love. I dated a dude before who was a light sleeper and he didn’t get enough sleep for the wrong reasons. Maybe that was why we ultimately broke up.
I hope not as J might be the last chance she has for a decent guy who truly wants to be with her for all the right reasons. Will she let her superficiality get in the way of true love?
He will go and visit her in Singapore this month (of November).
We shall see if she will welcome him, or will she turn him away.
At 39 years old, she is really no spring chicken anymore. And yes, because she is still pretty and sexy, she still gets a lot of male attention albeit more and more from guys who are 10 years younger than her.
We hope that she can find the love of her life. The only question is, is J it?
Abangan ang susunod na kabataan…