A friend of mine told me that his son was sullen and depressed following a failed marriage. He married young at 21 years old, at a time his now wife was 3 months pregnant, much to the chagrin of everybody.
“We warned him not to get married. Everyone told him it’s a bad idea,” the father muttered. “But he insisted. He wanted to do right with this woman.”
What followed this bad decision was two now teenage kids, at least 5 years of long distance relationship as the woman migrated to the USA to study and practice nursing, him and his family following suit, and then him returning back to the Philippines when he couldn’t take it anymore.
“It’s been three years since he returned,” the dad said. “And it’s hard to be separated.”
My husband knows about separation. He has been married at 26 years old to another woman — no kids thank goodness — and had his marriage annulled after 6 months of marriage. Apparently, they were fighting all the time.
“You know it’s a bad marriage when your wife becomes bridezilla and sulks in the wedding just because the wedding coordinator got the song incorrect,” he said. Apparently, the wife wanted with lyrics, instead of just getting the instrumental. She was also unhappy with the waterfall decor they ordered.
The first wife was a little hot tempered. In defense, my husband was no saint either, and given their relatively young age and their immaturity to refuse to compromise to each other, the marriage was kaputz as soon as it started.
“Geez, so you asked your parents to help you get annulled,” I said.
“Yup,” he said, apparently not as guilty that his parents paid for his wedding AND his annulment. “The worst decision I made was to get married at 26,” he said. “The best decision I made aside from marrying you was deciding to push through the annulment at 26.”
What I do know however was that following the demise of his marriage, my husband spent the next decade enjoying his bachelorhood. Of course it got old pretty fast, and he still moans of the money and time he spent in Reserve Ortigas trying to pick up random chicks.
“At that time, I didn’t believe that any good girl would want me,” he said. “Random girls, sure. But good girls? Nah.”
Well, the Lord has been good.
We met in late 2013, got married in mid 2015, had our daughter in 2016 and now she’s 15 months and walking.
Who would have known?
So yes, I’m the second wife.
In my defense, we legally got married and everything. We had the CENOMAR, marriage license, tinghun and wedding reception, although his parents invited a different set of friends this time around. It’s kind of weird to be invited to a wedding with the same groom twice.
Do I feel this to be weird?
Not at all.
Apparently, love stories are complicated. The guy or girl you think you’d spend the rest of your life with may not be the partner you’ll end up with when you die.
A sales staff of ours was married to another man when she started with us. In the course of her employment, she met another man who was more responsible, moved out of her house, moved in with him and is now pregnant with her son.
My makeup artist was a single mother with a pre-teen child. She met her now husband later, they fell deeply in love, and now they have another baby boy.
There are second chances anywhere and everywhere. Life is funny that way. And despite the wrong decisions we may have made, time has a way to make us feel better and help us redeem ourselves.
My husband, given his past, has become a better wife and father because of his sad experience.
Yesterday, I was really tired and had to go to bed early. Daughter, like any toddler, refused to do so.
My husband spent an hour walking around the area with daughter to tire both of them out. I think they both slept at 2am, stinky and hot after the night excursion.
I doubt that my husband would have done so if I was his first and only wife. He would not think his life right now would be as precious without having experienced what life would be without his family.
So I am a firm believer of second chances.
Yes, we may make the wrong decisions and fail at life, but that doesn’t mean life is over just because we make mistakes.
Let’s be the train that keeps on going, while we still can.
Have a good week everyone!