…is to be the recipient of so many “helpful” advice.
I kid you not.
Ever since I became a mother, I had to wrap my head around well-meaning advice givers who seem to know better how to raise my child.
One well-wisher said it’s better to bathe the child at night so as to make her sleep better. “There has to be a nighttime routine,” she said. “So you bathe her, sing to her, then tuck her to bed.”
Another well-wisher said NOT to give the child a bathe in night. “Baka ma-pasma,” she said. Pasma is a Filipino term for exhaustion brought about by introducing water to a tired body.
One mother said not to vaccinate her kid. “I heard vaccinations is caused to autism,” she said.
Another mother said you MUST vaccinate your kid.
One well-wisher said that our caretaker/yaya must alcohol her hands and wear a face mask so as to ensure a clean living environment to our kid.
Another well-wisher said it’s best to expose our baby to germs early on as to build up her immunity.
My aunt says to ignore the child as she cries because it teaches her independence and stops her from being too spoiled.
Another mother said it’s best to hug the child and console it immediately upon crying so as to build her confidence and to show her she is loved.
Seriously, to all parents who have children, how do you cope with all the know-it-alls in the world?!
To be honest, husband and I are bad parents.
Husband teases and abuses our baby like there’s no tomorrow, pinching her cheeks and kissing her hard, just because he can’t help herself.
When she falls down and cries, he laughs are her clumsiness. He finds humor in her hardship.
He has no qualms leaving her be, sometimes to her detriment, because she sometimes bump her head on the cabinet on the floor.
“I’ve had many accidents when I was a baby and am still okay,” he defensively said. “It’s a kid. And they’re not as fragile as you think.”
I’m no better.
I for the other have never changed a soiled diaper yet. Nor have I ever bathed my own child. I leave that dirty job to my darling husband and the nanny.
And while I bring my baby to work and keep a watchful eye on her, I also work in the daytime, leaving my baby mostly to my nanny’s care. I only go to her when she’s really making a fuss and needs me.
To be honest, our daughter is a very considerate baby despite her parents’ weaknesses.
She knows that day time is work time and is usually quite docile, napping for short periods and playing with her toys. And at night, she sleeps through the night so as to ensure we all get a good night’s sleep.
And to many people’s shock and horror, we have a laissez-faire attitude in child rearing. Stuff that many mothers stop their babies from doing, we’re fine with it.
For example, we don’t sanitize everything that our daughter puts in her mouth. We tried initially, but there were too many things to sanitize. In the end, we thought, “A little germs won’t kill her.”
So just imagine what our daughter likes to put in her mouth — bottle caps, staplers, highlighters, and closed capped pens. She even likes to nibble on her Graco crib, which is not the most clean item in the world.
My husband also lets her play by herself while he takes a bath. He places her on a padded mat and let her explore. Sometimes she bumps her head, but we thank our lucky stars, the damage isn’t serious. Then baby gets smarter and becomes more careful.
We also have a relaxed attitude when it comes to feeding.
My husband feeds our baby iced tea as a reward, though we mostly stick to water. We give her congee, rice and pasta, but if we don’t follow the normal recipes other parents follow, it’s fine. Baby has breastmilk to fall back on anyway.
At the end of the baby, we remind ourselves that she is OUR baby anyway, and we do have the right to take care and raise her however we want.
This has served us very well.The trick is to NOT be bothered when people tell you how to best raise your kids.
Despite so many naysayers in the world, we realize that we can always accept the advice we like and ignore the rest.
For us, so long as you love your daughter and try to raise her the best way you can, even though you make a few mistakes here and there, the baby will still be fine.
And she is.
Baby is fat, cute and inline to hitting all of her milestones.
She smiles and reaches out to us when we go near her, which means she loves us and forgets about all the little mistakes we’ve done to her.
She cries when she don’t see her mother, and there’s no better feeling in the world knowing that despite your many weaknesses, you’re still #1 in the heart of your child.
So to all naysayers, thank you for your advice. We appreciate it and accept it.
We will follow it when it makes sense, and forget about it when not.
And when it gets too irritating, I just look at my baby and smile.
“You’re mine,” I would say. “And I will raise you in any way I want.”
And then hug her with love. 🙂
Have a good week everyone!