I’ve noticed that there are some women who will simply end up with a man.
While there are some with prolonged dry spells and are single even in their late 30s.
I noticed one characteristic that many women who actually have boyfriends have — it’s open-mindedness.
What do I mean when I say, “open-mindedness?”
Open-mindedness means that she is open to dating men who do not fit her standards. You see, women’s standards can be pretty high.
We all want a tall, handsome, suave, single man with no children, who have the intelligence, breeding and good manners to sweep us away from our feet, and who will remain loyal and devoted to us to our dying day.
Now, in my experience, if the guy is single, he is usually single with good reason.
If he is cute or good-looking, he may not be as loyal to you given the myriads of women that flirt and throw themselves at his feet.
If he is too intelligent, then he is socially inept.
If he has no baggage, he is probably too boring and simple to keep us interested.
And even if he has all these characteristics, we may either not find him attractive. Or worse, he may not find us attractive!
That is why, I say, “Phooey” to keeping strict standards. It’s okay for them to be high, but only if you recognize that love is a negotiation, and sometimes, you have to pick and choose your need-to-haves and your nice-to-haves if you want to have someone by your side.
What’s worse, while we are very critical of other people, how about being more critical about ourselves?
I am for example, not perfect.
I can be a bitch sometimes, and my husband has seen me melt down too many times when I don’t get my way.
I am opinionated, and cannot keep my mouth shut. My opinions are stated as law, even though in reality, they are not.
I am overconfident and can be critical of others. Sometimes, this gets me in a lot of trouble.
My forehead is too big and my nose is too wide. Pretty I can be, but beautiful is really pushing it. Even when growing up, guys didn’t line up just to get my attention.
But one thing I have is that I was open-minded.
When I met my husband, he fit a bit of my checklist.
He was tall, Chinese, and I found him quite attractive. Looks don’t have to be good for everyone. But at least, I must find him cute.
He came from a good Chinese family, but for some reason, had to learn a bit of breeding and good manners. He likes to wear tee-shirts and shorts. Thankfully, he leaves his flip-flops at home.
He had a lot of baggage and was a young Christian. He drank too much and swore like a soldier. He was surrounded by cars, booze and girls — a clear recipe for trouble.
If I was close-minded, I would’ve crossed him off as a chickboy who’s only out to get me off my skirt. “Just another conquest,” I would’ve said as I would hear once again another one of his over-confident tirades.
But my curiosity, attraction and growing feelings for him kept me by his side.
And thank God I was patient!
Otherwise, I would never have married him! Nor would I realize that beneath his rough loud exterior, my husband was a sweetie who will always be there for me.
I was also open to online dating.
One single friend was moaning the fact that she felt so alone given her single blessedness. When my husband and I suggested online dating, she huffed and declared, “No, online dating is only for the desperates and the losers.”
My husband and I looked at each other — we met in www.eharmony.com, an online dating site.
If we didn’t sign up and registered, we probably wouldn’t have met each other!
As we left her, we shook our heads.
Girls want to find themselves a man. And they complain to everyone who would hear that they are still single. AND YET, THEY REFUSE TO DO WHAT IS NECESSARY TO FIND A GUY.
Not as attractive? Well, do your best with your God-given looks and personality. Make yourself look better by applying a bit of makeup and dress less dowdily.
Not as accessible to men? Well, join clubs and organizations? There are tons of organizations to choose from if you’d only take the time to look?
No time to date? Well, if you have no time to date, then you really won’t find yourself a man!
Lastly, no good guys out there? Well, no wonder you cannot find a man. You don’t give them enough a chance to show you they’re good guys after all!
I think women have to be open to men and dating if they want to find a man. Dating can be a fun experience if you don’t pressure yourself too much.
So the next time someone invites you out, go!
Who knows what will happen so long as you simply give yourself a chance!