My mom today SMS’d me to ask if I would be available to attend with her my uncle’s 94th birthday. If I was, she can pick me up at 6pm.
I asked if my husband is included. She said, given limited budgets, partners are not included. Even my brother will not be bringing his girlfriend who is usually stuck to his hip.
My answer was that I couldn’t really go unless my husband went.
You see, when we got married, everything somehow became a “Buy one, get one deal.” My husband suddenly became included mandatorily in all my dealings.
It wasn’t the case with my college barkada. Next week, she is going to Hong Kong for a day of shopping with her sister.
“A day of freedom for you, Joseph!” I exclaimed.
“More of a day with her other husband,” Joseph sadly answered as if he was the other husband and not the sister. “It’s not as if I wouldn’t want to go.”
Joseph has a lot of patience. He is willing to keep quiet and let his wife go out of town with the sister. But I think he would’ve wanted to join in, even at a limited capacity.
Same goes for my husband. He likes to do things together, and when I am invited and he is not, inexplicably, he gets a bit hurt. And he will make tampo with this person.
Somehow when he isn’t really included, later on, when the name of that friend pops up, he’s not as gung-Ho as he should be. He would somewhat discourage me and point out some flaws he saw about that person.
It’s different when he is actually included.
For example, because my college barkada was so open to him, he is as well open to them. Last week, we had dinner together and hubby was so excited to join us. It really comes to like attracts like — if you like me, I will also like you.
So I told my mom my regrets.
For one, I don’t want my husband to think my family doesn’t want to include him. That would be a grave misunderstanding.
Two, it would be nice to have husband involved. The more involved he is, the more I can get involved. Again, after marriage, it’s really a buy-one-get-one deal.
And lastly, after marriage, your priority shifts to your husband. It has to, for the sanity and safety of your marriage.
Once you place your mom, brother, friends or work above your husband, it’s already the beginning of a difficult road. Cracks begin to show and feelings will get hurt.
And since your wife or husband is the person you go home with every night, I think it’s logical to assume where your loyalties should lie. Anyway, you made your choice. You married the dude. This shouldn’t come as a surprise to you.
Okay, more relaxation this Sunday! Hubby is asleep beside me and I’m off to prepare for today. Happy weekend everyone!