My husband and I finally tried the weed at the Green Place Amsterdam (not to be confused with The Green House) located at Kloveniersburgwal 4, Amsterdam.
We picked it particularly because it was voted as one of the Top 3 Coffeeshops in Amsterdam thanks to their Rollex OG Kush cannabis strain. Of course, if you’ve come to Amsterdam, you only wanted to try out the best. And a four out of five stars is good enough for us beginners. 🙂
The Green Place lay in an indescript location by the canal, right along the many canals of Amsterdam (we used a GPS to find it) but for those without technology, it’s there right by the New Market.
From the outside, it looked just like your ordinary coffeeshop, but on the inside, it looked more like a friendly pub, complete with bar stools and tables with a lone bartender — or shall we say weedtender — on the back.
There are no alcohols on sale.
It is illegal for a coffeeshop establishment in Amsterdam to sell both alcohol and weed/hash. The lines are short and there are many types of weed to be bought.
We weren’t able to take photos in the establishments (boo hoo!) but this is what a sample menu looks like. As you can see, it changes all the time as this version didn’t have the Rollex OG Kush which we ordered at EUR 15/1 gram.
The bartender was nice though. He didn’t laugh at the two clueless Asians coming in for a hit and he did lend us his lighter.
So what did we order?
As beginners, you are bound to make mistakes.
Hubby first bought two pre-rolled joints with tobacco and weed at an EUR 3 each. Given the half-half mixture, it wasn’t that potent and just left us wanting for more. We managed to then exchange the joint for a pre-rolled pure weed joint at EUR 6.
After two pre-rolled joints — one with tobacco and the other one with just pure weed, we thought to buy a space cake (EUR 6) just to amplify the effect since I remained as perky than ever.
The Space Cake looked more like a chocolate muffin. It wasn’t the most delicious cake I’ve tasted but oh well.
After splitting and downing the cake, we waited.
I still have no effect while hubby was starting to get sleepy. He proceeded to further disintegrate after that. I guess that’s what weed is for him — it makes him increasingly lethargic and sleepy.
As for me, I remained my normal self and even made friends with a lone female in the coffeeshop.
Andrea is Austrian who lives in Amsterdam. She is also a coffeeshop tender in another part of town and comes to the Green Place for some hot tea, good music and the only weed she smokes, White Widow, which she mixes with Marlboro Cigarettes.
We asked her why she had the same marijuana strain all the time. She said that she wants the relaxing effect to last longer, and given that she mixes the weed with tobacco, she can smoke 5 joints instead of the normal 2, spacing the effects out.
Finally, after thinking that the cannabis experiment was a dud, I then went for it and bought 1 gram of Rollex OG Kush. It only comes in clumps like this, and thankfully Andrea was able to expertly roll them up to cigarettes for us.
She managed to squeak out two and a half (2.5) joints of pure Rollex OG Kush for us, and we proceeded to smoke one.
By this time, husband was already half asleep struggling to keep his eyes open. I energetically puffed away, only to feel some disappointment that after every puff, we had to light the joint again. Oh well.
In the end, we bought ourselves a coke (EUR 2), a pre-rolled cigarette with weed (EUR 3), a pre-rolled pure weed cigarette (EUR 6), a space brownie cake (EUR 6), and a gram of Rollex OG Kush (EUR 15).
We left after the Rollex OG Kush joint, giving the extras to our new found friend. Husband couldn’t take it anymore and wanted to go home and sleep.
Again, I for one didn’t feel much of an effect, and still dragged him to buy some Dutch ice cream nearby, and buy takeout dinner for us in case we got hungry.
The night was still early anyway, and it was only 7pm.
And then it hit me…
After walking for a good 30 minutes, it finally hit me on the walk back.
I don’t know if it’s the Rollex OG Kush that gave that effect, or the combined 2.5 joints that did it, but it did. And when it hit me, there was no way I could stop it.
So what is the effects of marijuana?
Time slowes down dramatically.
For both husband and I, time slowed down dramatically. When we were buying our dinner, husband felt that it took at least an hour to get our burger and doner roll (EUR 10), when in fact, it only took 15 minutes. He was pretty spaced out most of the time when we were walking.
When it finally hit me while walking back, it made walking back seem like forever. The road was not too long, but it felt as if we were already walking minutes when in fact it was mere seconds.
As soon as this happened, I immediately knew that given that we’re both high, we are in trouble if we don’t get home immediately. We then struggled to get into the nearby hotel cab and for some reason, was sober enough to give him directions to our bed and breakfast.
Thankfully, the taxi driver didn’t kidnap or hurt us, but proceeded to give us a good merry-go-around using a farther direction than usual, charging us 50% more than if we were sober. Fortunately, he did take us straight to our bed and breakfast’s door, sparing us the trouble of taking the tram and walking home, which would’ve taken forever.
Some things you just have to let go. It was one of the longest taxi rides of our lives though…
You also laugh uncontrollably at ridiculous times.
Things that aren’t so funny became funny.
For us, it was how the hell we can get home when we’re both high. We had a nice laugh at that in the streets.
We also worried if people would know we were high. They do — and we’re really at their mercy.
But found this funny as well.
What’s more, at this semi-lethargic state, you are truly in the mercy of others.
I think marijuana is unsafe if you are around people you don’t trust. Thankfully, Amsterdam is relatively safer than most cities and nobody took advantage of two high Asians walking around and try to rob or attack us.
But if they did, we would be completely at their mercy.
Being friends with a stranger like Andrea was slightly dangerous because knowing we were high, she could’ve sent goons to attack us. Good thing she didn’t and we are thankful for it.
We could never chase after the robbers (it would seem forever that we would reach them), and can only look at them while they take our money (as we did when the taxi driver took the longer route). I was suspicious and afraid we would go in the wrong house, or if we left our packages anywhere. There was really no point to struggle and just accept the fact that you are really at people’s mercy.
Finally, what’s it like to have sex while high?
Seeing that we’re finally married and in our honeymoon, it would make sense for us to take advantage of our high states and try to see what sex would be like while high.
If you think this is too much for you, please stop reading immediately.
Since you haven’t stopped reading immediately, let me now tell you how sex was for us.
Well for husband, given his almost vegetative state, he merely lay there.
He was cooperative though in such that he did get hard. Since time slows down, if you go down on a guy who is high, for him, it would seem like long minutes even though you’re only doing it only for a minute or two. So yay for the female giving the blow! The only caveat though is it would also seem as if you’re sucking him longer than usual, but heck, sometimes it’s okay to give than to receive.
His equipment would stand in attention though as they usually do when you give them some attention. So though husband couldn’t muster the energy to do missionary, but he did do a bit of spooning and allowed me to go on top and have fun that way.
Sex while high is a lot like being drunk and having sex. Except it’s a lot cleaner (no puking) and more mellow (everything just slows down considerably).
It just feels like you’re sloppily dancing and just following the motions as they come along.
Since it takes energies and effort to do anything, you just follow what your body is naturally wired to do and follow through the music. Come to think of it, we didn’t do it with music, but if you have some nice, soothing, mellow music (like Sade), the pleasure should be more amplified.
The kisses are sloppy but feels very very nice. I think we both kissed terribly as our tongue was all over each other, but for some reason, we still felt very connected and together.
Anyway, orgasms are slightly better than expected.
For me, they are slightly muted but pleasurable just the same.
I think I came four times.
Hubby just came once until he was wasted.
I think weed makes me extra horny so I still made myself come at least three more times. All while hubby is by my side. By that time, I don’t think he cared anymore than his sleep.
He was snoring in 30 minutes or less.
The whole experience from being hit to getting home, to having sex felt like hours, but in fact, only an hour has passed.
Thankfully we are both still alive with no crimes experienced.
Our host still thinks we are sweet and nice. At least, we didn’t trash their home or made fools of ourselves.
And we managed to wake up energized to make it to our flight this afternoon.
Overall, a productive trip in Amsterdam.
We did go for the windmills and the weed, and gawked at the girls, so we can really say we enjoyed the first leg of our trip, and hope we can come back again someday for more rowdy experiences!