“How do you know if he’s the One for you?”

When people ask me if I am sure about my boyfriend-now-fiancee, and why I said yes to his proposal despite the turmoil that’s happening internally within my family, my best answer is this.


This pair of hot pink/gray rubber shoes is by Adidas, and I remember buying this in a sports surplus building in Singapore.

When we arrived at the surplus building full of sports shoes and sports apparel/gear, I knew I was going to buy a pair. My old New Balance were of the thin air-ism kind, and I wanted something stronger and more for running.

As you would know, when it comes to shopping, I can be indecisive. I can try multiple styles all at once, but will start filtering between the styles I liked. This pair was one of the styles I liked. And whereas I tried different pairs, I kept on coming back to this style.

My brother then urged me to buy a different pair of shoes. I think it was a darker shade of gray. He said it looked good on me, and it’s uso (fashionable). 

I tried this pair, and the pair that my brother recommended. Both my brother and my mom said I should buy the other one.

In the end, I stubbornly chose this pair. And paid for it at the cashier.

Months later, I am happy with my purchase. I use it every other day, Tuesdays and Thursdays, when I accompany my mom to the gym. 

Finding the One for you is much like shoe buying. 

There are too many opinions out there.

Everyone has an opinion.

It’s free anyway.

So if you ask people whether or not this person is really for you, some will say yes, while others will say no. If you open your ears to what they say, you can never really make a choice. Too many opinions can only be confusing.

Instead of being confused, I followed my own gut. I asked myself three questions:

  1. Does he make me happy?
  2. Can I see a future with this man? Is the future he paint something I myself want as well?
  3. Does he have the fear of God in his heart, and has the openness to know what is right or wrong?

The answer to all three is a solid, “Yes!”

That’s why when fiancee asked, I gave my affirmative.

Not because my parents or my brother totally love him, but rather because, in the deepness of my heart, I have faith that I am making the right decision. I knew if I followed my parent/brother’s advise, I wouldn’t really be 100% happy with the choice.

In the end, it had to be MY choice. 

Because only when we make our own choices can we hold ourselves accountable. Whatever happens to us (boyfriend and I), I have nobody to blame or pat my back to but myself. Nobody forced me to make such decision. I made the decision. I lie on the bed I made.

So how did I know he’s the One for me?

Because he’s my choice.

Happy weekend!


About Bonita

I'm a forgetful person. But I think a lot. Every day, a lot of thoughts enter my head. That's why this blog came to be: first, to keep my memories alive through the years, and two, to actually see how I and my thoughts have changed. Please note that I seldom draft or edit my posts. Sometimes, if I'm not careful, I offend some of you, my readers. And while I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable, I am not sorry for being honest or for making well-intentioned mistakes. I will however be the first to admit if I change my mind. Hence, do read and proceed with caution. My life is as colorful and as boring as you make it. I complain many days, but offer some encouragement in others. Life is fluid, it changes. So keep the positives and throw away the negatives, and I do hope that at the end of the day, you will enjoy reading the blog and leaving comments here and there if my posts touches you. Happy reading!
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