When Parental Guidance Become Toxic

When two people get together, they create themselves a bubble.

Image

They come up with their own cheesy languages and nicknames. They tell themselves inside jokes only they can understand. And they interact as if there’s nobody else in the room. They live as if there’s only two people in the world, just him and her.

Unfortunately, after a while, harsh realities start coming in especially as the relationship gets serious.

Instead of just the two of you, you’ll have to let close family and friends in as you introduce each other to your circles, hoping and praying to God that they’ll all like each other and get along.

Social and familial obligations like showing up for relatives’ special occasions come to play. How can you say no to an uncle’s invitation for a friendly dinner at his house in Novaliches just because you think it’s far?

What’s more, what happens when a family member like your mother or your brother asks for a favor? Once done, the favor is still look at distaste by no fault of the boyfriend?

For example, my company wants to buy some car accessories right off eBay.

Since we are not used to purchasing things online and sending them over the Philippines, I’ve asked my boyfriend to help us do so. When the goods arrived, my brother said that our staff member told him that the wrong goods were ordered.

But how can the wrong goods be ordered if it was actually our staff member who gave us the exact links himself? If he made a mistake and ordered the wrong thing, don’t shoot the messenger.

In addition, you hope that everyone gets along, but fact of the matter is, unless you’re completely fake and can put on a different face to everyone you come across with, you’ll be bound NOT to like some people and if you’re honest about it, that sentiment would be transparent in your face.

My mom for example seems to be in a change-my-boyfriend mode these days. If there’s a little mistake that boyfriend has done, she calls me out on this. It’s come to the point that I have to filter out her comments so I can share with boyfriend what’s the things he really needs to change, and the things that he doesn’t need to change and will only be done for my mom’s benefit.

I think that in a relationship, it’s good to get some outside views to a relationship so you can have an impartial view. However, at the end of the day, you’ll need to decide what is most important to you — how other people view your relationship, or how you actually feel in the relationship.

For now, I choose my relationship.

Boyfriend makes me happy in so many different ways, and if I show him the support he needs, I think other people will also feel the same. If I pick him, who else can counter that?

It’s just a matter of confidence. The show of confidence itself is enough.

And once the show of confidence is there, it empowers both your mate to change for the better for you to his own accord, and for you to grow in love.

Have a great week ahead!

Advertisements

About Bonita

I'm a forgetful person. But I think a lot. Every day, a lot of thoughts enter my head. That's why this blog came to be: first, to keep my memories alive through the years, and two, to actually see how I and my thoughts have changed. Please note that I seldom draft or edit my posts. Sometimes, if I'm not careful, I offend some of you, my readers. And while I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable, I am not sorry for being honest or for making well-intentioned mistakes. I will however be the first to admit if I change my mind. Hence, do read and proceed with caution. My life is as colorful and as boring as you make it. I complain many days, but offer some encouragement in others. Life is fluid, it changes. So keep the positives and throw away the negatives, and I do hope that at the end of the day, you will enjoy reading the blog and leaving comments here and there if my posts touches you. Happy reading!
This entry was posted in Boyfriend, Family, Personal opinion, Philippines, Ramblings, Relationships and tagged , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s