Let’s admit it. Physical attractiveness matters. In fact, it would be a complete lie if a person tells you that appearances means nothing, and even if you let yourself go, you can still make your partner’s blood boil really hard.
Thought Catalogue said it perfectly in their article: “Eight Common Lies your Partner Tells You”:
3. That appearances mean nothing.
We all know that appearances don’t equal love. We get it. But we are lying if we say that we don’t sometimes succumb to the battle with our ego and find ourselves preoccupied with someone’s appearance. It doesn’t matter, it shouldn’t matter, but in so many ways, it tells you a lot about a person: how they respect their body and how they express themselves physically lets you know who they are at some level.
This is not just a matter of being “fat” or “thin” or “hot” or “not.” It’s more than that, and people are lying if they say it never factors into a relationship: it’s usually what we’re attracted to first. It’s the basis of a healthy sex life.
It doesn’t mean you have to conform to standards of beauty: society’s or your partner’s, because love makes all of that irrelevant– but in that truth lies the reason appearances aren’t to be entirely dismissed.
Love does not make us disregard our penchants to take physicality into consideration, it makes us look at someone as though they are everything we’ve ever wanted physically: but what’s important is that that mindset stems from loving something much deeper, and not the other way around.
Yes, appearances matter. I hope you would agree. True, it makes us more superficial beings, but at least, we are honest about it.
True, you can also go by your brains. People will always respect you for your competence.
You can always go by your shining personality as well. If you are one of the most interesting people in the room, people are bound to surround you likes bees to honey.
But don’t blame me if that ditzy girl on the corner always get the cutest boy in the room, and you keep getting friend-zoned. Such is life.
Seriously, if you do not take care of yourself, then who would? You may be the most intelligent, most interesting person in the room, but if you don’t take good care of your physical self, and you have hang-ups on how you look, then you won’t be confident, and people can smell insecurity a mile away.
Look, I’m not asking anyone to go for plastic surgery. I’m not.
But what I’m asking you to do is to be your best physical self.
It’s that simple. If you’re happy with your weight, then so be it. If you’re happy with your quirky fashion, then great. But regardless on what you do, make sure you’re happy with what you have too. And if you’re unhappy about it, then do something about it.
Well, I thought I’d share a few tips on what I think would make a person (more for women than for men) more physically attractive to the opposite sex. This list was made out of many conversations with guy friends and especially boyfriend. Here we go:
1) Wear Natural Makeup.
When I was in Taiwan, I had a lot of Japanese friends. Now, Japanese women are not the most attractive of races. A lot of them are not super tall, their teeth are slightly crooked in a cute way (because many of them don’t do braces at a young age), and their skin, like many women are uneven.
But one thing I learned from the Japanese: there is no excuse for laziness. Japanese magazines are pored from cover to cover just to find the best ways to dress and makeup oneself. While they recognize that their faces may have certain limitations, they never merely accept it, and instead work at trying to make themselves look better.
In fact, I have not met any Japanese woman yet who has gone out of her house fresh-faced and clean. For them, makeup is about respect. You want to show your best self to the world. And if you dare show your face to the world without makeup, in a way, it’s like telling the world, you’re too lazy to make yourself look better for their behalf.
Admittedly, my face without makeup looks really washed out. Even though I’m blessed with decent skin thanks to my late dad, I admittedly have dark circles under my eyes, my facial skin have a few uneven spots, and my cheek look lifeless and pale.
This washed out look is great if you’re exercising and you don’t have to impress anyone. Bah, take you as you are nga. But of course, this is bad if you’re trying to impress a new client by bringing out your best self.
Now, my mom used to say, “Wear makeup only during special occasions so you can still shock and awe people.” Her point is, if you wear makeup all the time, it’s a lot more difficult to impress.
I disagree. I think that makeup application can only take at most 5 minutes. Personally, my makeup regiment is as follows:
- Wash face (10 seconds)
- Put some facial toner (5 seconds)
- Tap on the Estee Lauder Pore Minimizer, one of the greatest inventions ever made for cosmetics (5 seconds)
- Apply BB cream/concealer to hide dark circles under eyes (5 seconds)
- Apply eyebrow powder for definition (10 seconds).
- Then apply eyeshadow with your fingers (30 seconds). I always like neutral colors so even though I make mistakes, they’re not too obvious.
- Mascara (15 seconds)
- Do a quick blush (15 seconds). I pick the Loreal True Match Blush 01 (Pink Marshmallow).
And that’s pretty much it. We’re already good to go!
2) Clean your fingernails.
Now, I’m not a firm believer that you need to have a regular manicure or pedicure. In fact, I don’t even have the time to lounge around in a nail spa for 1 to 2 hours just having my hands taken care of. The last time I was at the spa, I slept out of exhaustion while the pedicurist did my nails.
I simply don’t have time.
Evenings are spent with the family or with the boyfriend. And even after a great manicure, the colors get chipped and I’d have to remove them, or do it again. Manicures don’t last 3 days with me especially after all that tapping via the laptop.
However, there is no excuse for clean cut nails.
If they’re getting too long, get a manicure. Otherwise, clip and clean them. Don’t leave them to accumulate dirt. It’s just basic hygiene.
3) Wear shoes when going out. Not flip-flops unless you’re going to the beach.
There’s always a place for everything. I’m all for tsinelas when you’re at home, or in the beach. It would be really stupid to wear heels while you’re walking in the sand. But for goodness sakes, wear shoes — flats, heels, stilettos, wedges, anything! — when you’re out in the mall, in school, or at work.
Do you know why I encourage women to wear shoes instead of flip-flops while out?
It’s not just that they look too casual and improper. Actually, it’s also because it changes the whole demeanor of the person wearing it.
Clothes make a man, and so do shoes. When I’m in high heels, I cannot help but sashay down the street. When I’m in wedges, I stride confidently in big bold footsteps. When I’m in flip-flops, I feel like I’m in the beach, dragging my feet along the floor as if I was walking in sand.
Like seriously, observe yourself how you walk while wearing different types of footwear. When I wear heels, I feel like a model. When I wear flip-flops, I feel like an elephant. True story.
What’s more high-heeled shoes also elongate your frame. If you’re short, it makes you taller. If you’re taller, it makes you look even taller. No matter what, they make you look good, full stop. They go along with skirts, heels and jeans. How can you ever lose when you wear heels? 🙂
And for goodness sakes, if ever you’re forced to wear flip-flops, please please please have a pedicure. 🙁
4) Don’t wear dumpy clothes. In other words, wear things that you’re comfortable in AND flatters your frame.
Look, I don’t get it. My weight challenged friends love wearing clothes that are two sizes too big for them.
“It’s too hide my fats,” they would joke. “I don’t want to see them hanging out.”
The problem is, dowdy clothes make you look older. They may hide your fats but they also make you look bigger. Not flattering indeed.
There are many ways to wear flattering clothes even if you are overweight. Here are a few articles: 3 Ways to Dress Well When You’re Overweight, 5 Things Fat People Shouldn’t Wear, and How to Dress Well as an Overweight Man.
Research on the right fashions, and go for outfits that flatter your shape. This not only goes for fat people, but for thin people as well.
Personally, I look good in dresses with an A-line cut, with the waist cinched by a dark belt. I only wear dark jeans with a slight flare in the end. I usually go for single-colored tanktops and multi-colored cardigans. These are what works for me, and I don’t change my fashion too much.
Find out what works for you, and then go for it.
And lastly, 5) Be in shape. You owe it to your health, and promise, you’ll feel a lot better!
Do you know what I hate?
People who keep on complaining how bad they look, and how heavy they weigh, and how they don’t do anything about it.
Look, nobody is forcing you to eat. Nobody has a gun to your head. It’s very simple: What you eat has to go somewhere. Now if you have great metabolism, then wonderful. Gorge yourself with pizzas and cake all you want and not gain a pound. Great.
But for many of us, what we eat always have to end up somewhere. We hope it can go to the breast or butt, but most likely, it stays stubbornly stuck in the hips. It’s just the way it Is.
So instead of moaning about your weight, do something about it. There’s only two ways: 1) Eat less, or 2) Move more.
Weight loss is simple. Cut back on the carbs and halve your rice or bread intake. Say no to sweet afternoon drinks. Don’t add sugar anymore to your coffee. Decline the offer of free doughnuts or snacks. No more midnight snacks for you.
Or go to the gym. Walk to work. Run. Take up wall climbing or badminton.
Pick your poison. None is pleasant, but it sure would be more effective than eating a lot, staying in bed, and getting fat.
And believe me, when you’re more conscious about your weight and do something about it, you’ll look better.
You’ll find that clothes that used to not fit now do. And you’d also find it’s a lot easier to buy clothes that flatter your figure. Remember, the heavier you are, the harder it is to buy clothes that look good.
Don’t blame me, it’s just the way it is.
So get thinner. Don’t starve yourself to death, but if you’re not happy about your weight, do something about it today.
Hope this helps! Have a great week!