Reprint: Which Male Archetype Are You?

1. The Needy Guy

He is overly emotional and shares all his feelings with  her right away. The Needy Guy also doubts himself and needs constant reassurance  about his relationship, work and friendships.

Why he is so  unappealing:
Confidence and independence are very sexy traits in a man — insecurity and dependence are not. Most women look for a strong partner they can  lean on. So if you are always leaning on her — especially in the early stages  of a relationship — she might doubt your ability to do this. And since women  tend to come into relationships with all sorts of insecurities, she won’t want  to deal with yours as well as her own.

What to do if you’re that guy:
Timing is everything, so you just need to keep your feelings in check  at the beginning of the relationship. Try to hold off on sharing all your  feelings or divulging your insecurities.  Once you are far enough along in the relationship, you can share as much as you  want. By that point, she’ll appreciate knowing what’s on your mind.

2. The Predictable Guy

Women don’t like the Predictable Guy because they know exactly how he’ll react to everything. He follows formulas  and never wants to do anything differently. For example, he’d never surprise a woman by spontaneously taking her out for the night.

Why he is so  unappealing: Women look for a certain amount of unpredictability in a man — they want a free spirit. This is why some women seem to be drawn to the  notorious “bad boy.” It’s not that they are drawn to his badness exactly, but  rather to his unpredictability.

What to do if you’re that  guy: You don’t have to be “bad” or a completely free spirit to win her over. But try to mix things up — particularly at the beginning of a relationship. Call her and tell her you  want to go to the countryside for the day, or for an impromptu meal. After she  gets to know you, she won’t mind as much if you slip back into your routine a  bit. But don’t forget to continue to surprise her once in a while — doing so  will keep the relationship fresh.

3. The Arrogant Guy

He has a huge ego and he’s condescending. He is also  rude — not necessarily to her, but to anyone he perceives as beneath him. And  that’s just as bad as being rude directly to her.

Why he is so unappealing: A woman often looks at how a man treats other people to assess  his personality. So even though you might be nice to her on a date, she’ll be  paying attention to how you act with other people too.

What to do if  you’re that guy:
No woman wants to be talked down to, so I shouldn’t have to  tell you to shed the ego when you are dealing with her directly. But in order to  really impress her, you need to treat everyone around you with a certain amount  of respect — because she’ll be watching.

4. The Boorish  Guy The Boorish Guy doesn’t try to hide the fact that he’s checking  out other women while in her presence; he flirts with the waitress and he  even goes as far as to brag about his past conquests. Overall, he lacks respect  for women.

Why he is so unappealing: Not only is this type of  behavior infuriating, it can also be bad for a woman’s self-esteem. If you act  like this when you are first getting to know a woman, you won’t stand a  chance.

What to do if you’re that guy:
If you can’t curb this kind  of behavior permanently, then you at least have to keep it in check when making  a first impression. Keep your flirting and wandering eyes at bay — and maybe  eventually it’ll become a habit. Because, truthfully, if you introduce this kind  of behavior into a relationship at any point, she won’t be pleased.

5. The Cheap Guy

He invites a woman to dinner and then subtly suggests  they go Dutch. He never splurges to buy her flowers and he always opts for the  cheapest wine. He makes her feel like they’re on a tight budget from the very  first date.

Why he is so unappealing: Your first few dates should  always be carefree; the words “saving” and “budget” shouldn’t come up. If she  spends the first date picturing a lifetime of penny-pinching with you, you’re out of  luck.

What to do if you’re that guy:
Loosen up the purse strings a  little when you’re courting a woman. You don’t need to spend a fortune to make a  good impression, but you do need to make her feel like she’s special. Flowers  are a nice touch once in a while.

6. The Arguer

This type of guy turns every conversation into an argument. When he takes a woman out, he makes her feel like she’s in debate  class rather than on a date. And in doing so, he makes her feel defensive and  self-conscious.

Why he is so unappealing: A date should be a pleasant experience, but if she’s on the defensive the whole time, she will not be enjoying herself. Remember this: Constant arguing and debating is a stress — and you certainly don’t want her to associate you with a stressful  experience.

What to do if you’re that guy: Most importantly, relax. If you are this type of guy, you probably revert to debating because you  are nervous or unsure of what to say. So before the date, brainstorm conversation  topics and questions you can ask her. That way, you won’t be as likely to  revert to arguing during lulls in the conversation.

7. The Self-Righteous Guy

This guy is very judgmental of others. He  probably doesn’t drink or smoke, and he doesn’t hesitate to tell others to  follow suit. From the very first date, he’ll preach to a woman, telling her she  shouldn’t drink wine or get dessert.

Why he is so unappealing: No  one wants to be judged, especially on a date. She’ll just find it annoying and rude.

What to do if you’re that guy: You can preach a little once  you are actually in a relationship. But until that point, her drinking, smoking and dessert-eating habits are none of your business.

8. The Misogynist

This guy makes no secret of his bitterness toward  women. On a date, he can’t help but exude negativity toward his companion and  the entire female gender by making rude and insulting comments.

Why he  is so unappealing: This is the only type of behavior on this list that is,  in fact, a total deal-breaker. And it’s not surprising. What woman do you know  that would like to be in a relationship with a man like this?

What to  do if you’re that guy:
You need to reconsider your attitude if you are this  type of guy. This type of behavior is not only rude and nasty, it is often the  last straw in breaking up a relationship.

9. Mr. Nice Romantic Guy

He’ll show up with flowers, leave cards around your apartment and quote Keats on a whim. Think old-fashioned courtship where  you’re being wooed instead of sitting by the phone wondering if he’ll  call.

Celebrity counterparts: Cary Grant, Johnny Depp as Don Juan DeMarco

What he’ll teach you: This affectionate man will show you  a softer side of our male counterparts (what a relief to have someone fawn over  you for a change!), all the while raising your expectations of how you wish to  be treated. After realizing that there are guys out there who understand the  importance of a random note or kiss in the moonlight, you’ll be less likely to stay with someone who degrades or ignores you in the future.

The  catch: Most of the time, these guys are in love with the idea of love. This  means they will come on strong but lose momentum in the long haul as the reality  of a relationship sets in (i.e. disagreements, uneventful days), but that  doesn’t mean you shouldn’t date him and enjoy the experience. Just keep a level  head while he floats around you.

10. Mr. Big Shot

He dresses sharp, talks slick and has the perfectly  coiffed looks of a man straight out of a lad mag. One look at him in his  tailored suit and you’re toast — which is exactly why he wears it.

Celebrity counterparts: Chris Noth as Mr. Big, any Bond

What he’ll teach you: From sending your nether regions to  Brazil (Mr. Big Shot doesn’t do granny panties) to the proper way to age a  Cabernet, you’re in for a crash course in the finer way of life. Dinners will be  four-star and the conversation will be witty. You’ll walk away from this  relationship more sophisticated and well aware of your own inner  vixen. The catch: As the 007 of romance, he’s  going in for the kill. He knows exactly what he’s doing and the effect it’s  having on you — and every other girl around him. The odds of this guy slipping  out of his suit and into a comfy relationship are low, but that doesn’t mean you  shouldn’t enjoy the smooth ride around the town while it lasts.

11. Mr. Sexy Older Guy

He’s old enough to have settled into his skin and  has been involved with enough women to know that you require much more than  dinner and a few martinis to get into the mood. Best of all, he never makes you  late for dinner because he’s playing Xbox.

Celebrity counterparts:  Sean Connery, Antonio Banderas

What he’ll teach you:
He has a lifetime of experience to share (in and out of the bedroom), which will likely  keep you on your toes (and curling them, too!). Plus, he’ll show you how to see  life in a different way. No matter how long it lasts or how it ends, you’ll walk  away worldlier — and will never settle for a measly five minutes of foreplay again.

The catch: Despite what Demi and Ashton might say, age is  more than a number. If you are just starting to get comfortable in your skin and  he’s shed his several times, there is a good chance you’ll have issues with  long-term compatibility. Sure, he’s hot now, but how will you feel in 10 years?  Give one another a thrill, then move onto someone you both can relate to.

12. Mr. Man’s Man

He carries your bags, will defend your honor and would  rather swallow glass than shave his chest or take hot wax to his  eyebrows.

Celebrity counterparts: Frank Sinatra, Russell Crowe

What he’ll teach you: This rough rogue will have you  relishing in your femininity like no other. Why? There is something about raw  masculinity that brings out the damsel in all of us. Dating this bruiser will  show you how fun it can be when he shows you who the man is (think Rhett Butler  when he scooped Scarlett up those stairs). Dating him will do one of two things:  make you squeal with delight or appreciate your ability and right to wear the  pants sometimes. Regardless, be sure to play Scarlett at least once — trust  us.

The catch:
You’re dying to be wined and dined, but he’s  already made plans to meet you down at the pub. This is the guy who gets  inspired by Braveheart and cries only “out of frustration.” He’s also  prone to affairs… with his favorite sports teams. Oh, and forget about asking  him to hold your purse while you do anything — he wouldn’t dare.

13. Mr. Fun Social Guy

Whether he’s out with friends or meeting the  family for brunch, one thing’s for certain: He’s going to be the life of the  party.

Celebrity counterparts: Will Farrell, Vince Vaughn

What he’ll teach you:
There is something very attractive about a man who’s always ready to have a good time. You’ll laugh a lot and learn  how to go with the flow and let things slide. These types are often quite  spontaneous, which means you should be ready for anything from a quickie to a quick  dash to Vegas.

The catch: Most people are social because they like  the company of others, but Fun Social Guys are social because they love to be  the center of attention — and they love the excitement of something new. This  poses an issue for long-term loves because: A) Who wants to be an audience  member 24/7, and B) Let’s face it: Relationships can get dull at times — what  will he do then? Enjoy the roller-coaster ride, but don’t be afraid to walk away  to more stable ground.

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About Bonita

I'm a forgetful person. But I think a lot. Every day, a lot of thoughts enter my head. That's why this blog came to be: first, to keep my memories alive through the years, and two, to actually see how I and my thoughts have changed. Please note that I seldom draft or edit my posts. Sometimes, if I'm not careful, I offend some of you, my readers. And while I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable, I am not sorry for being honest or for making well-intentioned mistakes. I will however be the first to admit if I change my mind. Hence, do read and proceed with caution. My life is as colorful and as boring as you make it. I complain many days, but offer some encouragement in others. Life is fluid, it changes. So keep the positives and throw away the negatives, and I do hope that at the end of the day, you will enjoy reading the blog and leaving comments here and there if my posts touches you. Happy reading!
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