One of the Greatest Lies You’ll Ever Tell Yourself —

— is this: “If he/she loves me, he/she should love me for who I am. For better or for worse. No matter what I look like.”

Why?

Was it because he/she is always there for you?

It’s true. You love people because they make you feel good. It’s not because you love them for who they are. No no no, you love them because on how they make you feel.

If your girlfriend grew maddeningly obese, never took a bath and never took care of herself, would you still love her the way you did when she was still sexy and attractive?

If your boyfriend shouted at you, forgot your birthday and never cared about you, do you think you can still love him? Yes, you can still hold on to the past when he still treated you well, but human nature disallows you to be tortured all the time.

After awhile, you’ll get tired of his bullshit and call it off.

That’s what you call actually having self esteem.

So whenever I hear someone say, “If he/she loves me, he/she should love me for who I am – flaws and all,” I immediately think, “Uh-oh, this person doesn’t really want to face the truth.”

Loving takes effort. It’s not just about saying those three-letter words. It’s about an action. To love is an action.

So if you want to be loved, do not just shrug off your shoulders and say that if that person loves you, he/she loves you for your flaws and all. Without you even considering to improve yourself.

No — to be human is to improve.

And if you don’t improve, then you may be surprised to find your significant other gone one day.

Don’t say that I didn’t warn you.

Have a good holiday!

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About Bonita

I'm a forgetful person. But I think a lot. Every day, a lot of thoughts enter my head. That's why this blog came to be: first, to keep my memories alive through the years, and two, to actually see how I and my thoughts have changed. Please note that I seldom draft or edit my posts. Sometimes, if I'm not careful, I offend some of you, my readers. And while I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable, I am not sorry for being honest or for making well-intentioned mistakes. I will however be the first to admit if I change my mind. Hence, do read and proceed with caution. My life is as colorful and as boring as you make it. I complain many days, but offer some encouragement in others. Life is fluid, it changes. So keep the positives and throw away the negatives, and I do hope that at the end of the day, you will enjoy reading the blog and leaving comments here and there if my posts touches you. Happy reading!
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