Breakup Etiquette: would you return the expensive gifts your ex gave you…

…if the reason you broke up was because you had a third party?

Some people in my life had asked me to ask Trader for some of the gifts I gave him back. at the least, the most expensive ones.

I am talking about the iPad 2, an expensive and beautiful purple necktie that goes with everything. But basically the iPad 2.

Normally I wouldn’t even consider it.

Gifts are gifts and I gave them with the best of intentions. Of course you love to give gifts to your loved ones. Giving gifts is one of the five languages of love.

However, Trader DID cheat. And has been doing so for quite a while behind my back.

While we wee together, it turned out that he was in hot pursuit of another. This was going on for a few months unbeknownst to me who all the while thought he was perfectly nice and loyal. Every time we meet and talk in Skype, he was also doing something similar with another girl.

Anywho, they are now together.

I have so far kept quiet and given it a most amicable breakup.

But again, some people close to me had suggested I get the most expensive gifts back. If he has any shame, I believe he would return them if I asked for it especially since he should have some guilt in how he treated me.

So friends, pls help me with breakup etiquette.

Should I ask for the priciest gifts back? 😉

And what would you do after you found out that the breakup was due to a third party? And the deception ran for months? We have a lot of common friends and he had likewise fooled them into thinking he was a complete angel…

He did kinda play me for a fool.

Thanks a lot for your caring and wise advise! Happy weekend! 🙂

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About Bonita

I'm a forgetful person. But I think a lot. Every day, a lot of thoughts enter my head. That's why this blog came to be: first, to keep my memories alive through the years, and two, to actually see how I and my thoughts have changed. Please note that I seldom draft or edit my posts. Sometimes, if I'm not careful, I offend some of you, my readers. And while I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable, I am not sorry for being honest or for making well-intentioned mistakes. I will however be the first to admit if I change my mind. Hence, do read and proceed with caution. My life is as colorful and as boring as you make it. I complain many days, but offer some encouragement in others. Life is fluid, it changes. So keep the positives and throw away the negatives, and I do hope that at the end of the day, you will enjoy reading the blog and leaving comments here and there if my posts touches you. Happy reading!
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11 Responses to Breakup Etiquette: would you return the expensive gifts your ex gave you…

  1. les says:

    Don’t ask for it back. It was a gift and it was in the past. Just be happy you are not with him now considering what he did. If you were it could have cost you more than the ipad and other gifts.

  2. fl. says:

    Hi Bonita!
    Write off your loss and start anew! All the best from far away.

  3. chichow says:

    In making your decision, let’s look inward: Why I went back to Manila after 10 years overseas

    WIWBTMATYO SIAFTPGB
    Reasons Likewise
    1) financial 1) Rationality: The Bygones Principle
    2) family 2) Humanity: The High Road
    3) better person 3) Religiosity: It’s just stuff

    Good Luck

  4. Lance says:

    that would require you to talk to him ?…. good riddance !

  5. cc477 says:

    If that ipad2 will only serve as a painful reminder of the past, then I suggest just leave it ..

  6. orange says:

    Wow must be a trend amongst men at the moment… I just went through something uncannily similar! I would say leave it… he won’t ever be able to use either item without being reminded of his terrible behaviour. Same for you. So might as well leave them at his disposal (as they are obviously too nice/valuable for him not to use them) so he has that little twinge of guilt every time he sees them, instead of you feeling shit when you see them!

  7. Zanthastic says:

    Don’t ask for it back, but do send anonymous reminders on ettiquette and how life’s karma goes around. Better yet, if you know his email address and password, sign him up for stuff like – on this day, god wants you to know… Hahaha karmic justice! 😉

  8. kklouisiana says:

    i say take it back! i just went through a breakup. it was ‘let’s move in together, to let’s buy a place together, to let’s travel together….then it became i like being alone, don’t want a relationship, find someone who wants a relationship because it’s not me….so i took back everything i gave him. he took back what he was leading me to believe ‘a life together’. i believe my material gifts weren’t nearly as important as the ’emotional gifts’ he took from me

  9. Once you’ve given something, it’s gone. Let it go.
    Of course, I do rather wonder at a person who would keep the gifts he received from the woman he was two-timing…….. that seems to add to his ethical failure.

  10. Igniss says:

    “However, Trader DID cheat. And has been doing so for quite a while behind my back.

    While we wee together, it turned out that he was in hot pursuit of another. This was going on for a few months unbeknownst to me who all the while thought he was perfectly nice and loyal. Every time we meet and talk in Skype, he was also doing something similar with another girl.”

    But did he actually cheat? Did he kiss her or sleep with her or something similar? Just talking to someone or having options is not a crime. You might call it “bad etiquette” in the sense that it is giving the person extra chances for something to “just happen”, which should be avoided in any loving couple, but if nothing more than talking happens, surely it’s not cheating.

  11. lancaster says:

    take it back, honey!!! can you even imagine him using those gifts with her?
    I was in the same Situation, and I got everything back (even thow it was not expensive…) In other hand, he gaved me lots of expensive gifts, and I broke everything he gave me, and those things I gave it back to him, so in this way he will never Forget how much I hated him.

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