I Need to be Strong

I am working on a pretty big pet project at the moment.

It’s this project that makes me smile and drives me.

It will come to play in 2012, and I can’t wait to unveil it in the next few months. 🙂

However, despite the excitement, the project brings a lot of concern and trepidation.

Why?

Because though I am doing this with the moral support of the family, I am driving this project alone.

And though I want to act tough in front of others, I have to admit — the prospect of doing this alone scares me. The entirety of the project relies on my efforts and if I ever let go or give up, this project would fail.

I don’t want it to fail.

I need this to be successful.

For my sake.

I need this project to be successful to justify my upcoming homecoming.

To rationalize my life changes.

To make my transition smoother.

I am doing this for me, and for goodness, I will not fail.

But it’s not easy. Doing things alone is tough. So I need to be strong.

But I cannot… not truly.

As a person, I need someone to remind me that I can do it.

As a woman, I need someone to console me that they will love me and think no less of me even if this business fails.

As a classmate, I need expert advise on how to go about this.

As a partner, I need someone I can trust.

As a daughter, I need my parents to tell me that they will back me up no matter what.

As a sister, I need my brother to prop me up when I start having doubts.

Yes, I need people.

And I need to be strong.

Starting right now.

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About Bonita

I'm a forgetful person. But I think a lot. Every day, a lot of thoughts enter my head. That's why this blog came to be: first, to keep my memories alive through the years, and two, to actually see how I and my thoughts have changed. Please note that I seldom draft or edit my posts. Sometimes, if I'm not careful, I offend some of you, my readers. And while I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable, I am not sorry for being honest or for making well-intentioned mistakes. I will however be the first to admit if I change my mind. Hence, do read and proceed with caution. My life is as colorful and as boring as you make it. I complain many days, but offer some encouragement in others. Life is fluid, it changes. So keep the positives and throw away the negatives, and I do hope that at the end of the day, you will enjoy reading the blog and leaving comments here and there if my posts touches you. Happy reading!
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One Response to I Need to be Strong

  1. les says:

    I’ve always said I really enjoy reading your blog. From what I’ve read you are a very strong woman. Most women let alone men would not have gone to so many countries and gone to school. Doing this project alone just shows you how strong you really are. Even if you don’t get this project done you are still stronger than most people because you started it. No doubt you will make it eventually.

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