The more I think about it, the more convinced I am that finding love and an internship/job is more or less the same. Here are the many ways:
1) The one you end up with may be the least you’d expect.
When I was looking for an internship, I came out with a target list of the top 12 banks I’d like to work with. There were the usual names: the GS, the MS, the ML-BoAs among others. My former employer was also part of this list (hell, why not?).
This is similar to how we come out with our dating list. We want someone who went to a certain school, comes from a specific race, of a specific height range, of a specific age. Personally, my list is this guy must be 6 feet tall, speaks perfect English, not from where I’m from, etc.
Trader btw is an exception to my rule. He actually debunks many of the stereotypes that I want for a boyfriend. Though he is taller, he is not THAT tall, his English carries a heavy accent and he is 2 years younger than I am. Surprising!
However, I’m glad that I gave him a chance, the same way that I’m glad that I went to a career recruitment talk with a company that wasn’t in my top 12 list.
In the end, Trader blew me away as this company who left me with such a good impression after the talk. We continued on and bam, good things happen. This wouldn’t have happened if I have scratched Trader/the firm
off my list. If I did that, I wouldn’t be this happy right now. 🙂
Lesson here: Be flexible. Sometimes, God doesn’t give us exactly what we want. Instead, He gives us something better. 😀
2) Still be on your best side when you’re on that date/interview. And don’t feel bad if you don’t get the next.
When you’re in a date, give it your best shot but not to the point that you’re no longer being yourself. Just be yourself, and see if it’s really a right fit. If your guy doesn’t give you a call again to followup on a second date/interview, feel bad about it but know that nothing is personal.
I wouldn’t have been able to find my last job if I wasn’t rejected from a job by DeBeers. And I was way happier with my last job than when I was at DeBeers.
But what would happen if I got so discouraged that I didn’t put myself out there again? Do you think I would’ve taken Trader’s invitation for some lunch/tea/dinner? Of course not. I’d scratch him off and just go my merry way.
When you get rejected from a date/interview, be sad but brush the dust off and move on. There’s no need to stay in the ground THAT long. Trust that what is meant to be would be yours, and what is not, well, you wouldn’t like that place/dude anyway.
Sounds like a sourgrape I know but hell, makes me feel better.
Personally speaking, the interview I had with this firm came a day after I got rejected from another firm. I was really down about it and totally disappointed. Of course, I wanted to have THAT FIRM WHO REJECTED ME!
Luckily, Trader shook me off my depressive state and reminded me that I should focus on birds I have on my hand instead of those that have already flown away. He again built up my confidence which allowed me to shine more brightly on the next firm’s interview. It would’ve been very disastrous if I took the past personally and moped.
3) Don’t just wait for the better offer. Though the grass often seems greener in the other side, more often than not, it’s really not.
A bird in your hand is worth more than a bird in the air.
I think that if you already have a good guy in front of you, you really have to be content with what you have and take this guy and run with it. If it doesn’t work out, move on. But DO NOT wait for something better to come around because that’s hoping for something that may or may not happen.
Same with job hunting. Personally, my motto is to only apply to companies that I like so that no matter who gives me an offer, I still come out a winner. If it’s a company I would not even consider myself working in, I wouldn’t even bother to apply. What for?
Take for example this bank — am not applying to this bank although I know they’re hiring aggressively. Why?
Because Trader’s ex girlfriend works there.
Haha, bad reason I know. But hell, that’s my reason. 🙂
So same with job hunting, only go out with guys that you are most likely to give a chance (though as rule #1 had said, lower your standards man!) and when someone gives an offer, do give this guy a break. 🙂
Who knows? It may lead to something more, and you’ll be way happier for it.
I know I am.
Happy Chinese New Year!