Those who’s been reading my blog know that Trader’s parents don’t like me as much. They have done all they can to discourage him from dating me even to the point of once giving the ultimatum that he had to break up with me or else.
At first, I was completely hurt by their judgemental decisions. Is there anything really wrong with me? Why do they hate me if they don’t even know me? Trader and I used to fight about it a lot because I took what his parents said personally. 😦
Fortunately, Trader stuck it out. Even when I offered to break up with him because I knew just how important parental approval is to a good Chinese son, he refused to break up with me, promising that we would instead work something out.
I think to all those who face a lot of hate from potentially future parents in laws, we just have to remember that though we ourselves cannot control how other people think of us, it is still more important to care most about what your PARTNER thinks about the situation.
For example, if our partner couldn’t take the heat and pressure from his parents, then the relationship couldn’t really stand on its two feet now and forever. Imagine marrying a pussy who succumbs to everything his parents say? What do you think would happen to your married life and how much influence your future-in-laws may have in your family if in case you and hyour partner successfully walks down the aisle?
Then, for your and your partner’s sanity, it may be better to break it off now. Though you may love him, if he doesn’t have the balls to fight for you this early stage of the relationship, then just cut loss. Break. it. off.
A man needs to have the courage to stand up for you and your future together. A relationship after all may receive influence from external factors like his parents, your parents, and other things, but in the end, the most important is how are you together? In the end, it’s just you and the guy, and how you manage your world together and with other people?
Though the parents’ opinion and approval do matter, they should not dictate your relationship. And any guy that allows that to happen is not a guy that’s worth your time and effort. Because life would really suck afterwards when you’re married.
I am glad that Trader had the balls to stand up for us.
Admittedly, our relationship is not perfect. We’re both not perfect and we do make our mistakes. However, what I do appreciate being with Trader is the fact that he refuses to give up on us.
“We’ve been working through many of our issues already and ironed it out,” he told me last week. “Why would we just throw it away? If we have an issue, WE WORK IT OUT.”
And I think that’s what makes me love Trader more.
Because a cute, rich, intelligent guy is a dime a dozen. But a guy who stands by you no matter what?
Wow, that’s just a needle in a haystack.
Have a great weekend ahead!