People who know me personally know that I’m an avid fan of Taiwan.
For example, I don’t think that Taiwan will ever return to the Mainland China fold though they’ll work more closely together, economically. The Taiwanese are far too nationalistic to accept being seen as Mainland Chinese.
I also believe that Taiwan is just one of its kind. From its sights (e.g., Chang-Kai Shek Memorial Hall, Shilin Night Markets, etc.), its iced desserts to its uber-nice people, Taiwan is just a joy to live in and visit. 🙂
However, for a 30-year old woman without a boyfriend, Taiwan is a dead-end.
“Sigh. What can I do?” my best girlfriend complained yesterday. “The local men would never really go for someone like me (Note: Taiwanese men are more traditional and prefer demure quiet women) and the foreigners usually go for the hot la-meis (Translation: Spicey girls usually seen in the hippest clubs wearing a bikini and short shorts).
Women who marry are usually those who dated their boyfriends since their pre-military days. Engagement last years and it’s not uncommon to see people who’ve been together for almost a decade before being married.
Those who weren’t married usually wait till their mid-30s before finding someone willing to marry them.
My friend for example is 31 years old.
31 years old is not old by any measure, but for many traditional households, that’s an ancient number already. Older societies believe that a woman should be married by 25, pregnant by 28 and have their second kid at around 31-32. So as you can see, my friend and I are considered “late bloomers.”
“At least you have Trader,” she whined despite my insistence that marriage for us is years away. “It’s not as if you’re looking at a deadend.”
My friend is considering moving to China later in the year after a fortune teller told her that if she remained in Taiwan, she would’ve remained single till 4-5 years later. That would mean that she would get married in her late 30s, which for some people, is just too late to have kids.
“He says that if I worked abroad, by next year, I’ll garner a lot of attention,” reported she.
I do agree with that assessment.
My friend is in my standard, smart and attractive. She has personality and knows how to have fun. Placed in a new environment, she should be able to blossom and many men should be attracted to this beguiling newcomer.
However, I warned her that by moving out from Taiwan for greener pasteurs, she would have to think it through first. “If you ever leave Taiwan,” I advised. “You should just burn your bridges and always look forward. Don’t try to make a 50-50 decision. If you go forward, don’t come back to Taiwan if things don’t work out the way you wanted them to.”
People who usually make half-hearted decisions fail to achieve their goals. I’ve always been a firm believer that one has to do things whole heartedly before they can be successful. Unfortunately, these decisions come with heavy sacrifices such as burning your bridges.
Too many single women I know of.
But how to get a guy?
“Keep your expectations low,” I said. “If a guy is interested in you and he’s half-way decent, give him a chance.”
“But what if I don’t like him and I like someone else?” she asked.
“Well, only entertain those who are also interested in you. Encourage those who call you. Don’t turn men off just because they’re not your type.”
It’s true — men will contact you if interested. If he’s interested, despite the many challenges, he should be able to prevail. The decision is unfortunately not yours to control.
Anyway, packing now. Moving time comes very soon so really hope I get done!
Have a great week ahead!