Fights: Good or Bad?

DragonStalker rightfully asked whether it’s good that Trader and I had been fighting all the time. Actually, I wouldn’t call these as fights but rather as arguments which I blow out in proportion when reporting them on my blog. πŸ™‚

That said, I’ve thought about my previous relationships and wondered if I fought with my ex-boyfriends as much as I do with Trader.

And the answer is, technically speaking, my ex-boyfriends and I never really fought.

Weird, huh?

Maybe I was too complacent or they were too conflict averse but we never really fought. Every issue was just placed under the covers and after one insignificant fight, we breakup.

With Trader, I think I continually test the limits of our relationship. Admittedly, I’m afraid of being disappointed later on that I try my best to see if he’ll snap after one argument. Yes ladies and gentlemen, I am hot-tempered and not well behaved. However, I feel it’s better to show this side earlier than later.

Why do I do it?

Well first, because I can and because I’m crazy.

But most importantly,Β  I’d really like to see whether Trader can handle my craziness and still want to be with me. We both admit that I have a temper which am trying to gradually curb but at the end of the day, it’s about accepting me for who I am, I guess.

As they say, it’s important that we get these issues out right now before we get married instead of keeping quiet about it and exploding later out. At least, we get to deal with these expectations (e.g., me being high maintenance, him wanting me to be more traditional) right now and get them over with.

From these bursts, we discover more about each other.

Me being hot-tempered and the need to keep my temper in check later on. Okay la, my fault!

And him being very patient and a lovely person to deal issues with.

So yes, it can be dismaying to know that we do argue. But it is comforting that we’re still together and going even stronger despite the discussions. We are slowly but surely working through our issues and as we do it, discover just how much we value each other that we work hard at it.

The couple that lasts aren’t those without problems.

They are rather those who choose to deal with these issues head on with love and respect.

Hopefully, Trader and I can last but it’s ironic that the more we fight, the more I respect him. Because it shows he’s a man with rational opinions and an openness to discuss our issues.

Anyway, thanks a lot for your comments, and wishing you a great weekend everyone!

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About Bonita

I'm a forgetful person. But I think a lot. Every day, a lot of thoughts enter my head. That's why this blog came to be: first, to keep my memories alive through the years, and two, to actually see how I and my thoughts have changed. Please note that I seldom draft or edit my posts. Sometimes, if I'm not careful, I offend some of you, my readers. And while I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable, I am not sorry for being honest or for making well-intentioned mistakes. I will however be the first to admit if I change my mind. Hence, do read and proceed with caution. My life is as colorful and as boring as you make it. I complain many days, but offer some encouragement in others. Life is fluid, it changes. So keep the positives and throw away the negatives, and I do hope that at the end of the day, you will enjoy reading the blog and leaving comments here and there if my posts touches you. Happy reading!
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2 Responses to Fights: Good or Bad?

  1. Dragonstalker says:

    “We both admit that I have a temper which am trying to gradually curb but at the end of the day, it’s about accepting me for who I am, I guess.” – Indeed, that was comforting. I’m glad to see my question sparked introspection like this πŸ™‚

    Cheers!

  2. bonita says:

    That actually made me think DS. However, I’ve come to realize that it’s not important really whether we fight but rather, how we fix our issues. it’s been a rough ride, but hey, not complaining! Have a great week ahead!

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