Thinking long term?

Nobody is perfect.

I sure am not.

However, in almost 8 months of dating Trader, I’ve realized that he’s not perfect either.

Despite his constant hirits that he does his best to be the best boyfriend in the world, he flukes sometimes too. For example, he still mentions his exes in front of me. I remember how riled up I got when he said that his last girlfriend was thinner than I was.

Thinner — ha! So what, more to hold of me la!

Anyway, I don’t like to be compared less worthily than his other girlfriends. Why la? My ex-boyfriends were way more generous than he is. In fact, most of them will never let me pay for a meal. 😦

However, when dating someone, you not only look at his short-term faults, but also his long-term habits as it will affect your life as well.

For example, he sleeps way earlier than I do. He’s up by 7am while am still in la la land till around 9am. He gets a lot of work done by the time my eyes open. He also tires faster and is fast asleep by 11pm while I’m stl at my peak.

He’s also quite frugal. I’m more than happy to buy him Ferregamo shoes but for him, an iPod Nano is already “expensive.” If that’s the case, I think I’ll be waiting till our 10th anniversary before he gets me an LV Bag. “You have more mature tastes (in other words pricier),” he once said.

It’s true.

I have no appreciation for Kate Spades or Coach bags. Believe that they’ve marketed themselves well which is why women are willing to shell out HKD2,000 for something plastc. I’d rather go for the unbranded goods, or brands like LV, Miu Miu, Bally, etc. Middle price range la. Just love the smell of real leather!

He’s also very family conscious. Whereas I couldn’t really care less, he’s more in tune of family gatherings and typically call his parents every three days or so. He’s very very obedient while I tread in being bad and still being in favor of my parents’ eyes.

As we near our eighth month anniversary, I’m caught in two sides.

For one, I like the thought of being with him in the long, looooong run.

He’s very stable, treats me like a princess, and is always generous of his love. Life would him would be extremely pleasant and though he’s not perfect, he does try and I do appreciate that. He has strong beliefs that I respect as well and is very family oriented (even though I am not so). Life would him may be a snoozer to some, but is quite nice.

However, the thought of being with one man (gasp!) for the rest of your life is another fear that I have.

I don’t really believe in divorces. I believe that once you choose, that other person deserves you and only you. However, forgive me for being crude but that also means that you won’t have the chance to make out with other men anymore. You won’t experience the elation of dating someone dashing and new.

This is it. Be happy with what you have.

Sure there should be other men for you, but gee, you cannot cross that line sister!

A lifetime with Trader — sigh.

Haiya, of course you have to think of the long run.

Anyway, my ex called me recently. I’ll be going to Shanghai mid next week for work, and given that we work in the same firm, he’ll be in our event the week after and is asking whether I’d like to join him for dinner.

Thought you’d appreciate dining at M at the Bund,” he invited.

Aaaargh, he knows my weakness! Fine dining! Fine dining at one of the better restaurants in Shanghai.

I tell Trader and he’s troubled and amused.

Whoa, I can’t believe how easy you are to be ‘bribed,'” he wryly commented.

But it’s harmless – and it’s fine dining at M at the Bund!” I replied.

Hmmm.. well, I don’t want to tell you what to do,” he diplomatically said. “You’re an adult and you can make your own decisions. I trust that you can make the right one.”

“Well, if that’s the case,” I happily said, “Then I’ll accept the invitation. Nothing’s going to happen anyway!”

“Whaaaaaaaa?”

“Yeah, you don’t have a problem with it anyway, right?” I asked.

Aiyah, Trader was just being politcally correct and diplomatic, but let’s just say that conversation ended with him saying that he doesn’t want to go because he’s uncomfortable that something may happen afterwards.

Hmmmmm…. I don’t think so, but then again if it makes him uncomfortable.

Sigh, no more dinners at M at the Bund.

That’s life with Trader.

We can afford it anyway,” Trader consolingly said. “Why do you have to go with HIM?”

Because it’s free?

Then again, am unlike most women.

In a way, I wear the pants in the relationship. Usually it’s the guy who’s the commitment phobe but in this case, Trader seems quite sure and I’m not that much.

Don’t get me wrong. I love Trader very very much and am very happy with him.

It’s just that is it wrong for a woman to think about forever and be a little hesitant?

It’s just not a boy’s thing, you know.

Have a great weekend!

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About Bonita

I'm a forgetful person. But I think a lot. Every day, a lot of thoughts enter my head. That's why this blog came to be: first, to keep my memories alive through the years, and two, to actually see how I and my thoughts have changed. Please note that I seldom draft or edit my posts. Sometimes, if I'm not careful, I offend some of you, my readers. And while I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable, I am not sorry for being honest or for making well-intentioned mistakes. I will however be the first to admit if I change my mind. Hence, do read and proceed with caution. My life is as colorful and as boring as you make it. I complain many days, but offer some encouragement in others. Life is fluid, it changes. So keep the positives and throw away the negatives, and I do hope that at the end of the day, you will enjoy reading the blog and leaving comments here and there if my posts touches you. Happy reading!
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3 Responses to Thinking long term?

  1. jxu says:

    Wow! 8 month already~ time really flies!!! ^^

    I totally agree with you on this one hah. Why not eat out indeed, if you can have fine-dining for free no? But I do think that your boyfriend will see it as spending “quality time” with the ex [ex trying to get you back?]

    His one-liners are really funny~ trying to be politically correct…

    “You have more mature tastes ”

    “I trust that you can make the right one”

    Well, hthe answers are already packed in the above sentences no?, without you having to answer them.. xD

    Yeah, spending your life with someone for all your life~ it also gives me the shivers. But I do think that by being with someone is a choice.
    Relationships are like new clothing~ first you like them very much, but as time passes, the colour is not what it used to be.. it doesn’t even fit nicely anymore as it used to be. … but you still use that one special sweater, which is like old and worn out, but you can snuggle away in it and it keeps you warm in the cold days.. n_n

    Take care!

  2. bonita says:

    No guy is happy to see their girl spending time with an Ex. They feel that there’s some old flame there left and don’t want to take the risk.

    However, despite these boo boos, life with Trader is good. And thanks for constantly dropping by and saying hi!

  3. Pingback: What I did in 2010… (Part I) « Nameless in Taipei

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