Trader and I had a semi argument last night on our virtual date. As he was not giving me too much attention, I got pissed off and felt that I should be somewhere else.
“Why would I be stuck here at home if I can be somewhere else?” I thought. I felt that I was better off having dinner with someone who can focus his/her attention on me.
Sigh, I’m really awful at quiet low-key dinners. For me, dinners are supposed to consist of animated conversations and exciting updates. 😦
Anyway, I carried on a rant on how I wished I could spend a month and a half in Central America, traveling around and reading my Valuations book. “What better way to study than to live in a super low-maintenance area? You can wake up late, relax and then just read the whole day.”
Understandably, Trader was kinda upset about the whole thing. “You’re restless,” he declared. I think it bothers him on how he’s happy on settling down and doing the same thing every day, while I would rather do different every day.
“Trader, I’ve always been aware of our differences from the very beginning,” I replied. And yes, we are very different. No bullshit.
He likes Chinese food and anything that’s dimsum and sushi, while I prefer eating Western food all day long.
He likes quiet evenings at home watching TV with his head of the girlfriend’s lap, while I’d prefer to be out and about discovering whatever in a place I’ve never been.
He likes saving money and will indulge in buying himself sports shoes for Christmas. This lady would purchase Bally bags in a whim because hell, what’s money if not to be spent?
He loves clean houses and finds my place to be not too tidy. I think that if there’s no rats and cockroaches, then it’s not that bad yet.
He likes his steady group of friends. I like to meet new people and experiences.
So yes, we are different. And yes, I was aware of these.
But yes as well, I love him despite these differences. And despite knowing how difficult our clashing lifestyles may be in the future, I value him as a person, as a partner and as a man to stick with him despite. I respect him and think he’s one of the best things that ever happened to me.
“Darling, think of me as the balloon, fighting to fly away. The balloon likes to fly and discover the world,” I explained. “But you know what? You’re my rock. You keep me grounded. Settled. And that’s not a bad thing.”
Yes, I am restless. I wish my life was better and I wish that work was more challenging. I like to discover new things and move my life forward.
However, I am NOT restless about him. With him, I’m sure. He makes me sure.
And I guess, despite the differences, that’s what make me stay. And hopefully, that’s what would make him stay too.
Despite my many faults.
Love you bee!