My boyfriend is asking me to listen to him first, do as he says and ask questions later. “Sometimes, it’s inappropriate to answer you at that time,” he explained.
My gosh, he’s not my husband or my dad and now acts as if he is. And if this is how it is in our first three months of dating, then wonder how would it be for the rest of our lives if we get that far.
I wonder if most couples have the same dynamics as we do. I love to ask questions and usually ask him, “Why this… and why that?” It irritates him a bit because he thinks I don’t trust his judgement. “Dear, why don’t you just trust my hindsight that my decision is correct? Why do you always have to ask why?”
“Well, that’s what happens when you choose to date a very logical woman,” I replied. “I know that you’re right, but can I request for you to be patient and explain to me first why you’re deciding to do something before you enlist my involvement to do it with you?”
Metaphorically speaking, my boyfriend expects me to just hop in the car and just trust him to take me for a ride. When you ask him where he wants to take you, he merely answers that he knows where he’s going and that it’s for your own good, and you should just do it.
Sheesh, are most couples like this? I wonder…
I asked my recently married friend whether it’s the case with him and his wife. For an extermely independent person, I’m finding it hard to just take things in face value and just do what a guy says just because he says he’s right.
My friend MY has this to share: “What I learned in marriage prep class is that we shouldn’t analyze a situation from the angle where it will lead us to the question if the partner chooses something or ourself. Instead we should just look at the concerns of the partner making the decision and see how we can adapt to it .”
“So are you saying that I should just be accepting of his decision given that he’s acting in love, he’s already taking my concerns into account when making them? ” I asked. “It’s like marriage prep is asking us girls to just follow — to just accept and understand.”
“Well, from the Christian model., the guy should act from love,” MY followed up. “Only then can a girl can act in submission. And of course vice versa.”
“But seriously, what if the guy makes the wrong choice?” I stubbornly asked. “Does that mean that a girl must submit all the time? Oh no…”
“Then a mistake is made,” MY concludes. “That’s why a guy must make a decision based on love. The reason why God ordained the husband to love their wives and the wives to submit to their husbands is because those are the hardest things to do”
“So how about your new wife?” I asked. “How is she in submitting?”
“She’s really good,” he answers, “because she trusts me totally, and trusts that I will make good decisions. And if I can’t make a call, I will discuss with her and so she let’s me lead.”
Hmmm… is this true? Are women born to submit?
All thoughts welcome…