Dichotomy of Life

Life is a dichotomy. For every one thing, there is always another thing balancing it out.

For example: The flip side of being bright is being opinionated.

The flip side of being analytical is being difficult.

The flip side of being funny is being sarcastic.

The flip side of having moral clarity is being arrogant.

The flip side of being entrepreneurial is being a workaholic.

The flip side of being charismatic is being self-centered.

So why is it that I can be often seen as opinionated, difficult, sarcastic, arrogant, workaholic and self-centered?

Doh, often times, you just can’t win. So why try?

Btw, did you listen to Adam Lambert’s “Mad Worldlast week on American Idol 8? Oh my god, that song gave me the chills! It’s from the pop movie classic, “Donnie Darko” which should be quite weird and would like to listen to. 🙂

Yes, my life is bits and pieces of everything.

I like to dance my head off while clubbing, while at the same time, I’m equally comfortable at a formal dinner, studying in a library or relaxing in a cafe.

I like to go explore and be adventurous, but I also have my need-to-veg-out moments where I’m just stuck at home zoning out the world.

When I’m with a lot of people, I get very very high and people think I have attention-deficient disorder. However, when I’m alone or with people I really like, I get comfortable, low-key and a tad boring.

I am selfless and giving when asked, but I can be totally selfish at times as well.

Sigh, given these complexities, a wonder if anybody would really come close to understanding me.

Happy long Easter weekend holidays!

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About Bonita

I'm a forgetful person. But I think a lot. Every day, a lot of thoughts enter my head. That's why this blog came to be: first, to keep my memories alive through the years, and two, to actually see how I and my thoughts have changed. Please note that I seldom draft or edit my posts. Sometimes, if I'm not careful, I offend some of you, my readers. And while I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable, I am not sorry for being honest or for making well-intentioned mistakes. I will however be the first to admit if I change my mind. Hence, do read and proceed with caution. My life is as colorful and as boring as you make it. I complain many days, but offer some encouragement in others. Life is fluid, it changes. So keep the positives and throw away the negatives, and I do hope that at the end of the day, you will enjoy reading the blog and leaving comments here and there if my posts touches you. Happy reading!
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4 Responses to Dichotomy of Life

  1. anonymous7 says:

    I think that people shouldn’t be too extreme on anything, and strive for balance. For example, too much confidence becomes arrogance, not enough confidence becomes insecure, being too nice makes you a pushover, not being nice enough makes you a jerk, being too loyal makes you clingy, but being too independent makes you a loner…I believe that usually, the majority of people have pretty similar ways of viewing these qualities, and that most of the time, it is about finding a balance, which is hard to achieve…but I agree with you that sometimes different people can view the same trait differently, but I don’t think it is to an extent where it becomes so extreme. I don’t know….I guess I just always try to find what I think is a good balance….But I do see your point….for instance, culture can influence peoples’ views….like Asian parents may think that Americans are too wild and undisciplined, etc….
    As for your previous posts, I think your friend is sortve misunderstanding something…It is pretty easy to hook up with a woman, but it’s not because he is the shit, rather most women are nice enough to give guys who ask them out a chance….From a potential benefit/cost standpoint, there isnt much to lose….If you don’t like a guy, you can just break it off, and if it works out, he could be someone you love…..There is a huge risk in turning down guys right away without giving them a chance..I guess if he understood this, he would be more humbled about it…..Also, I question how much of a stud he really is…..As i said above, men only get women easily because women LET them…..i don’t think it’s stupidity….but if this guy is talking condescendingly about women, he’s not going to get them……If a women knows you think she is easy, it is almost impossible to get them…..but it does depend on the woman….And also the fact that he has to force the issue and ask three times is something else that stands out……But I guess you never know, he could be a stud….But the studs I know usually only have to ask once and try to avoid the reputation of someone who thinks he can get women easily because then women will have expectations and expect you to impress them which makes it much harder to get them…

    and for your “is he?” post, I think that there are always situations that make every theory true….but from personal experience, I can say that when I stop trying to reach a girl, it doesn’t necessarily mean that I am not interested anymore. Sometimes, you just haven’t spoken in so long that it becomes awkward and you’re afraid of how it will go…sometimes, I wait for the girl to try to reach me so I know she is interested…..But it definitely depends on the guy…I am just not really aggressive and I guess I like to know if a girl likes me before I do anything….But as for the question if the guy likes you, I don’t really think men and women can be just friends as long as attraction exists. Because qualities you look for in a significant other are mental attraction (aka friendship) and physical attraction (aka usually just known as attraction) so if both of these are present, then people will want to pursue a relationship. So he probably does like you.

  2. Dragonstalker says:

    Hehe, most of those are just like that. But I think that arrogance isn’t the flip side of having moral clarity. Moral clarity only appears when there is no arrogance.

    Happy Easter to you and best wishes! I’m stuck with mononucleosis here so no libraries/caffes for me 😐

  3. Bonita says:

    Thanks DS!

    Anonymous7, don’t think it’s about extremes. I think that perceptives and biases cloud a person’s viewpoint that even though a person isn’t that wild, somebody will still have that idea based on their backgrounds. For example, whereas my dress is normal for Americans, it’s liberal for the Middle Easterns and traditional Asians. Hence, for everything, there’s two ways to look at it. Two sides to toast, so to speak.

    Btw, am all for persistence but not stalker-like. Don’t take rejection too personally. Sometimes, it’s not about you, and why not try and see what you get? If a girl will give you a chance, then maybe this is a girl for you. If not, well next!

    Hahaha, so you really think that the guy is interested? Well, here’s the clincher, he’s mentioned he’s interested in another woman before. So what does that mean? 🙂

  4. anonymous7 says:

    whoah. that does change everything. well, it also depends in what context he said it, what you said before, what exactly he said… like “she’s pretty, etc…” i don’t really think has much meaning, but things like “what should i do to get this girl?” is a sign that he isn’t interested in you. I guess what I was trying to say was that it doesn’t really take much to be interested in an attractive person…usually, intially, people aren’t interested because they don’t believe someone to be attrative enough….but i inferred from your posts, that you are probably good looking haha…like you get asked out on dates, you are comfortable enough to wear dresses and outfits i know a lot of girls wouldn’t wear, and you get hit on by creepy guys in bars hahah….hmm i looked over that post and i guess none of it is that out of the ordinary….i talk to my friends about things i wonder in life all the time…..even strangers sometimes….sometimes it’s easier to talk to strangers because you know you won’t keep in touch with them and they can give you objective advice….like how i am commenting on what you are writing…..the thing with your friend saying that he was thinking about moving could be caused by many different things…..but i think that one thing that he did that was strange is calling long distance just to say hi…..I don’t do this, even with my very good friends….but sometimes guys will mention another girl so you won’t feel like he has any interest in you and it will make things more casual and you will be able to talk more comfortably and get closer….There is a girl in my class that is attractive and a lot of guys approach her randomly to make conversation and the whole thing is weird because she knows they are talking to her out of interest and have some intent…so some guys will try to avoid that situation….honestly though, if you’re attractive, it doesn’t take a lot for a guy to be interested….sure, they can’t hate you, but more often than not, they’ll be interested.

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