I miss you.

It’s amazing how you can bring the worst in me, and the best in me. When we first started, I wasn’t really supposed to fall for you. It was nice, and fun and I was attracted to you.

But I did.

Maybe it was your words of bullshit that turned the tables. Which girl wouldn’t really fall for the words, “Stay with me? Don’t be with anyone else?” Okay, so call me naive but if you were there in his arms, am sure that you’d appreciate it as well!

Or maybe it was your bold moves that showed me then how much you cared. Two weeks after we saw each other, you flew all the way to Taiwan to see me. We spent a few days together and that was really, really nice.

Or maybe I’m the type of girl who when she likes someone, really likes someone. Am not the type of person who plays around so it’s kinda tough when things don’t go to plan.

Nonetheless, we didn’t work out. One day, you just stopped calling and I was too proud to call you back. “Tsk. There are other men in the sea,” I muttered.

And there were.

Last Wednesday was quite a nice date with a decent man, who somehow reminded me of you (okay, doesn’t seem to mean that I’m over over you). He made me laugh a bit and we had terrific conversation. He was even nice enough to give me a ride home because he is a gentleman. Overall, off to a good start.

However, he is not you. I don’t feel yet the chemistry I enjoy with you, and the connection. When I look at him, I still do not have the inclination to wrap my arms around him as I do you and hold him tight.

I can’t show you my vulnerable side though.

Circumstances force us to still keep in touch, albeit not really my will or maybe yours. I think you still cherish being able to talk to me and find out how I’m doing in Hongkong. Sometimes, we fall into our bad habits and flirt on the phone when we shouldn’t, just because we know that you’re in a different place right now so there’s really no way for us to hook up again.

My heart is sad though.

I miss you, that’s why. I don’t know why, but thinking about you makes my heart crack a bit. Because I care. I really do.

So we shall see.

As I move on to my new life in Hongkong, hopefully, I can one day find someone wonderful and get over you completely. I’ve done it before and I can do it again. So when you call once again, my heart doesn’t beat as wildly and someone else can make me sile again.

Till then, we wait.

That darn awful patient wait.

I miss you hon. Do you miss me too?

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About Bonita

I'm a forgetful person. But I think a lot. Every day, a lot of thoughts enter my head. That's why this blog came to be: first, to keep my memories alive through the years, and two, to actually see how I and my thoughts have changed. Please note that I seldom draft or edit my posts. Sometimes, if I'm not careful, I offend some of you, my readers. And while I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable, I am not sorry for being honest or for making well-intentioned mistakes. I will however be the first to admit if I change my mind. Hence, do read and proceed with caution. My life is as colorful and as boring as you make it. I complain many days, but offer some encouragement in others. Life is fluid, it changes. So keep the positives and throw away the negatives, and I do hope that at the end of the day, you will enjoy reading the blog and leaving comments here and there if my posts touches you. Happy reading!
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2 Responses to I miss you.

  1. j.xu says:

    After a While…
    Anonymous

    After a while you learn
    The subtle difference
    Between holding a hand and chaining a soul;
    And you learn that love doesn’t mean leaning,
    And company doesn’t mean security.

    And you begin to learn that kisses aren’t contracts
    And presents aren’t promises;
    And you begin to accept your defeats
    With your head up and eyes open,
    With the grace of a woman not the grief of a child.

    And you learn to build all your roads
    On today because tomorrow’s ground
    Is too uncertain for plans, and futures have
    A way of falling down in mid flight.

    After a while you learn that even sunshine
    Burns if you get too much;
    So plant your own garden and decorate
    Your own soul, instead of waiting
    For someone to bring you flowers.

    And you learn that you really can endure…
    That you really are strong
    And you really do have worth.
    And you learn and learn
    With every good bye you learn, you relieve…

    ====

    Take care Bonita and have a good weekend!! I’ll be sniffing in bed~ think I’m getting sick 😦 …

  2. Bonita says:

    Thank you very much J Xu. That was absolutely beautiful.

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