So is this love?

A man whispers sweet nothings to your ear.

His voice sounds sure.

I really really like you,” he murmurs. “From the moment I first talked to you, I immediately liked you. I’ve never been so sure in my life.”

I am unsure if I love you yet, but am moving to that direction,” he continues. “But I do know that I really care for you. Do you feel the same way? Tell me what to do and I will do it.”

At that moment, if I asked him to marry me, I knew he would.

If I asked him to give me babies, he would.

If I asked him to give up several things, he would.

That much power over a man scares me.

I am mad about you,” he said. “I don’t know how I can be without you.”

He wants me to help him make his decisions. “I cannot make you love me,” I insisted. “I cannot tell you what to do. All I can do is just be myself and let leaves fall as they may.”

Do things not because I tell you to,” I implored. “But because they are right decisions for you whether you end up with me or not.”

He has baggage.

My parents would go beserk if they know I was going out with him. But he seemed so sure, so in love that I didn’t have the heart to break his heart.

The reality is, am starting for the care for the man. If he doesn’t SMS or call me, I miss him. But the way I feel for him is honestly not as how he feels for me.

I don’t really know how a person of his stature–successful, older of course, already settled in life–would ever want a woman like me.

He says because he wants me because he wants “company, stimulation, a challenge, sympathy, a partnership, affection, depth, warmth, independence, variety.”

He wants me to be myself. Because he really likes me being me.

In a way, it’s flattering to not do anything and still be loved.

Seriously, I don’t know what will happen.

There’s so many uncertainties with both of us, but the only thing that’s true is that he really likes me and that I am starting to feel for this man.

Please be my lighthouse,” I said. “The moment I start to doubt… don’t let me doubt.”

“I will never hurt you,” he whispered. “Am not here to disappoint. Am here for the long run.”

But he asks me hard questions too.

Do you love me?”

“Will you promise not to leave me?”

“What do you want me to do?”

“Do you want to have kids with me?”

“Tell me when you love me already.”

This is getting out of control.

Especially after just a mere month of knowing this man.

But then again, that’s what happens when two people meet and they start falling. Sure, one may be more than the other but it’s always good to play catchup.

I think I am lucky. These sort of feeling do not come to people my age anymore. But they exist now.

So what will happen next? Will this be my next roller coaster ride?

I am afraid to answer his questions to be honest. But I have to face them soon after.

God help me.

And thank you for many blessings.

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About Bonita

I'm a forgetful person. But I think a lot. Every day, a lot of thoughts enter my head. That's why this blog came to be: first, to keep my memories alive through the years, and two, to actually see how I and my thoughts have changed. Please note that I seldom draft or edit my posts. Sometimes, if I'm not careful, I offend some of you, my readers. And while I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable, I am not sorry for being honest or for making well-intentioned mistakes. I will however be the first to admit if I change my mind. Hence, do read and proceed with caution. My life is as colorful and as boring as you make it. I complain many days, but offer some encouragement in others. Life is fluid, it changes. So keep the positives and throw away the negatives, and I do hope that at the end of the day, you will enjoy reading the blog and leaving comments here and there if my posts touches you. Happy reading!
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