I am starting to miss him.
Do I miss him because as creatures of habit, missing something or something is natural whenever something is removed (if so, that’s truly bad of him)?
Or do I miss him because I’m starting to care?
Nonetheless, the reason is negligible.
Two weeks shy of my upcoming birthday and a month or two from a big life change, I really don’t need these sorts of complications to shove me off center.
What’s more, pursuing this endeavor is like opening a Pandora’s box of worms.
So why am I going forward with this though?
Cut the emotional crap, but the main reason is, on hindsight, the things I regret the most are the things I didn’t do than the things I did do. How can I nail a stake in someone’s heart if I have no basis on whether this would have a future or not?
The second reason is his persistence.
Everybody likes to be wanted.
Do note that this doesn’t mean that I can’t handle being alone or that I’m desperate.
Quite the contrary.
However, it does make me feel good to know that someone admires me as I do him.
It’s a great feeling indeed.
Though I am very much aware of the risks, I will not run away this time though as I’ve done so many times.
If a man is willing to invest his time and energy in me, the least I can do is to respect that and likewise, give this a chance.
And if it goes nowhere, that’s fine. At least, you’ll never ask yourself, “What if?”
But as adults, we leap in with both eyes open.
And that is what makes life worth living.
These are the days — the struggle, the wait, the vulnerabilities — that make us human.
These are the days that make life worthwhile.
Even though it can be a bitch sometimes.