Energy — Positive, Negative, or Just Blah?

Energy — what’s yours like?

Everybody’s energy varies. Some radiate positive energy, others negative, while most just give off almost nothing. It’s as if they’re not there.

My goal is to radiate as much positive light as I can. You know, the feeling that you get when you see a person you know, and no matter how exhausted or discouraged that person may be, he or she lights up at the sight of you.

Hey you!” he or she will exclaim, and you can hear it in their voices how happy they are to see you. You hear it in their voices, the way the corner of their eyes crinkles, and yes, you feel that energy.

I’d like it that when I see someone I know, he or she can hear the excitement and delight in my voice. He or she can see it in my animated face, and of course, know that I actually mean it.

I know someone like that — someone whose energy I actually envy because damnit, people who see this person usually immediately like that person.

Fast forward two or so years, and it’s visible: that energy is gone from that person’s face.

Shocking.

It’s not a sense of physical tiredness though that may be a factor (hours of overtime do that to you). Rather, it’s a sense of complacency… as if the world moved forward, and that person didn’t.

Personally, I believe that one’s energy is heavily influenced by the companions you keep.

As they say, you are the friends you keep — and if you spend a lot of time with a person who sucks off your energy, well, even the most energetic person will lay spent. Unremarkable. Like wallpaper.

It worries me when I see how some of my best friends have their energy sucked out of them. It’s not their fault, but for some reason, a few years down the line, you see them and they just look… old.

Worn.

Spent.

And you know exactly why, but leave them be because it was their choice.

I pray and hope that I can retain such youthful energy. A few years down the line has proved that I myself have changed to a much harsher, stronger, and bossier woman (as to whether this is good or bad remains to be seen).

However, it’s my hope that I never lose the energy and drive, because frankly, it’s all I have.

What do you do when you see friends with energy spent? It depresses me, but I let them be. And what do you do to ensure your battery pack is still full of energy?

For some reason, I’ve been on the listening ear of some of the more complicated issues my friends and acquaintances have lately. Relationships, career changes among others are just some of the issues I encounter.

You know the answer, but you know that they aren’t looking for answers.

Just a caring shoulder to cry on.

Sigh.

Hope everybody’s doing well! Have a great week!

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About Bonita

I'm a forgetful person. But I think a lot. Every day, a lot of thoughts enter my head. That's why this blog came to be: first, to keep my memories alive through the years, and two, to actually see how I and my thoughts have changed. Please note that I seldom draft or edit my posts. Sometimes, if I'm not careful, I offend some of you, my readers. And while I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable, I am not sorry for being honest or for making well-intentioned mistakes. I will however be the first to admit if I change my mind. Hence, do read and proceed with caution. My life is as colorful and as boring as you make it. I complain many days, but offer some encouragement in others. Life is fluid, it changes. So keep the positives and throw away the negatives, and I do hope that at the end of the day, you will enjoy reading the blog and leaving comments here and there if my posts touches you. Happy reading!
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4 Responses to Energy — Positive, Negative, or Just Blah?

  1. J. Xu says:

    .. it's really such a coincidence -> the subjects you mention lately, I've been thinking about them to … a lot has happened (again) the past 2 month… and, I notice that I am gettin' back my glow.. when I look back to the last 2 years -> it seems like I've been living like a mummy… do you know what my mother told me, when we went out for dinner… she looked at me… "ow gosh, you've changed so much -> your energy isn't the same… somebody hurt you.. didn't he…" :(.. I cried and stood up, walking to the lo's … it was just to much to handle… this happened like a month or 1.5 ago..
    .. last week, I shut myself up in a house to fast.. you're reading it correctly -> liquids only fast and I can tell you, it feels like I'm reborn!.. it's.. now I can say, I'm content with the things in my life and… I'm going to contact Pokémon.. O_o .. hah, don't look at me in aww :P…, but… he has always been good to me and…
    .. can you remember the time when I told you that I stopped contact with him? -> well, after that… we still had contact and than it stopped again… and….. it's going to start again.. I hope.. we'll see…

    .. but I'm very glad to read that everything is ok with you :)!!…

    .. I think that our lives has just begun!!!…

    With Love,

    J.

    .. uhm, I was wondering.. could you mail me? -> go_no_point@hotmail.com thnx!

  2. raven says:

    Good to hear from you again. Agree with your mom when she said that you’ve changed. Men change women a LOT especially when they leave us with lots of baggage. Is Pokemon your ex btw? If so, would suggest just to cut him out cold turkey. That is, until he begs you to come back and be his forever. Otherwise, you’ll be stuck in a limbo. Be strong girlie. If you’re still in touch, you may be in for a ride! 🙂

  3. J. Xu says:

    .. hih, this is going to be a long post -> be prepared, so maybe you need to find some cookies or something to nibble on :)… me stretching my fingers now.. 😛 …

    .. uhm, no.. he is not my ex.. during my fast, I dreamed about him… I was in his new house cooking for him ( I love to cook, he likes to eat… perfect couple right? hah), which I have never been before.. he bought the house with his (new) girlfriend… yep, there is more to the story….. but do you know what?.. I really felt good when I woke up.. leaving me smilin'… then I realized, that I have moved on!.. I'm not hanging in the past anymore.. holding on to all those feelings/grudges which where making me sad, empty and… lonely.

    .. and then, a day later.. it was last tuesday, I guess…. when I read this…

    Moving Thoughts
    by Anonymous

    "Maybe God wants us to meet a few wrong people before meeting the right one so that when we finally meet the right person, we will know how to be grateful for that gift.
    When the door of happiness closes, another opens, but often times we look so long at the closed door that we don't see the one which has been opened for us.
    The best kind of friend is the kind you can sit on a porch and swing with, never say a word, and then walk away feeling like it was the best conversation you've ever had.
    It's true that we don't know what we've got until we lose it, but it's also true that we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.
    Giving someone all your love is never an assurance that they'll love you back! Don't expect love in return; just wait for it to grow in their heart but if it doesn't, be content it grew in yours. It takes only a minute to get a crush on someone, an hour to like someone, and a day to love someone, but it takes a lifetime to forget someone.
    Don't go for looks; they can deceive. Don't go for wealth; even that fades away. Go for someone who makes you smile because it takes only a smile to make a dark day seem bright. Find the one that makes your heart smile.
    There are moments in life when you miss someone so much that you just want to pick them from your dreams and hug them for real!
    Dream what you want to dream; go where you want to go; be what you want to be, because you have only one life and one chance to do all the things you want to do.
    May you have enough happiness to make you sweet, enough trails to make you strong, enough sorrow to keep you human, enough hope to make you happy.
    Always put yourself in others' shoes. If you feel that it hurts you, it probably hurts other person, too.
    The happiest people don't necessarily have the best of everything; they just make the most of everything that comes along their way.
    Happiness lies for those who cry, those who hurt, those who have searched, and those who have tried, for only they can appreciate the importance of people who have touched their lives.
    Love begins with a smile, grows with a kiss and ends with a tear.
    The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches.
    When you were born, you were crying and everyone around you was smiling. Live your life so that when you die, you're the one who is smiling and everyone around you is crying.
    Please send this message to those people who mean something to you, to those who have touched your life in one way or another, to those who make you smile when you really need it, to those that make you see the brighter side of things when you are really down, to those who you want to let them know that you appreciate their friendship. And if you don't, don't worry, nothing bad will happen to you, you will just miss out on the opportunity to brighten someone's day with this message."

    .. can you remember when I told you that although I've cut the contact, there's a stick preventing the door from closing?… the stick is gone now.. -> I've talked to him, one minute ago.. and…. .. the past week, I realized that I have missed him as a good friend.. …the past 2 years, I have pictured him as the villain in my head .. that he was the cause of this all, me feeling like sh%t before and bladieblie.. bladiebla… well, he had his share in this, but … it was me, most of the part.. come to think of it.. T___T … -> I was the villain in my own life and than blamed him… as I've said before, instead of pointing my finger at him.. point it to yourself…

    .. a note to myself: the biggest enemy in your life, is yourself…
    *me slappin' myself for wake-up call 😛 ..

    .. I have lift that behind me now.. he is Pokémon.. nothing more, nothing less..
    .. I am J.Xu.. nothing more, nothing less… and we are all beautiful as we are.

    "The brightest future will always be based on a forgotten past, you can't go on well in life until you let go of your past failures and heartaches."

    .. I've let go… and now, a door is opening.. all I know for now is, it's a door where I can walk through with my head held up high and most importantly, feeling that everything is alright… when my drive/passion is with me and it is.. so, carpe diem!…

    .. and yes, this story is also meant for you… you've touched my heart and not a lot of people can say that…

    With Love,

    J.

  4. raven says:

    Thanks J for that encouraging story. As I’ve said, leave it up to Fate and stop worrying about the future. Let go of the past and learn to live instead.

    Still think that you should cut contact with Pokemon. He’s like an addiction — and any guy who makes you feel bad does not deserve to be included in your life. Good luck!

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