The Beginning of an End

There are times when you cherish being single.

These are some of those days.

It’s often times disturbing how many couples come together and break up, and there you are, standing on the side, being this lil’ bystander, observing without judgement.

But this is the situation I found myself in… a bystander.

Nonetheless, like being in the stock market, nowadays, it’s better to watch the volatility from afar, content in knowing that your cash is relatively safe in the bank (or so it seems), instead of investing it in such a bearish environment.

Same goes in relationship, from my perspective, it seems that it’s better to look from afar as I see so many couples wavering and moving towards a breakup if they haven’t already.

This, I don’t like.

A lot of the couples start heading towards DANGER territory when one person changes his or her expectations.

Sure, it’s always easy to look at your partner with rose-colored glasses, but a few years into a relationship, you realize that he/she is not as great as you once thought. You wake up one day, look at your significant other, and say, “SH*T. What have I done?”

You realize that your partner wasn’t as intelligent, as cute, or as talented as you have originally thought, and because of that, a small bit of contempt creep in.

A hint of disrespect and disappointment.

And when this happens, all I can say is — Uh-oh.

I think in any relationship, we have to maintain that sense of awe.

You know what I mean… the feeling that this is the best choice that we can ever make.

I envy those who have found the best partner for them.

And yes, these couples do exist.

Which is probably why I’m still single — I’ve yet to find someone who I can look up to, whom I can say with determination that “Yes, you are the greatest guy for me.Which is why I wait, and cherish the wait.

However, other people haven’t really waited that long.

Instead, they found a partner, then chose to settle with this partner.

Only to find out that this person may not be the best person for them.

When the harsh realization comes, it can be cruel.

Why?

Because the person you settled for never changed. People usually don’t.

However, you did.

You changed the rules, and asked for more.

When this happens, it’s a warning signal for me — I see impending doom, and pray and hope that I’m wrong.

I saw this with my older brother’s 5-year relationship with his then girlfriend. He grew complacent while the girl grew impatient.

Finally, she just dumped him (which btw I secretly wished for the girl because nobody deserves to wait that long).

And when my brother realized that he couldn’t be without her, it was already too late.

She already found someone who didn’t want to wait too long now that he found the girl of his dreams and then married her (my brother’s ex).

There was a time I visited Manila and had dinner with them. It was then that I knew that it was the beginning of the end. You can see it in their eyes, their actions, their words. And yet, ironically, neither could see, until a few months later when I found out that they indeed broke up.

I see these signs once again.

And this bothers me.

I see how one person has changed the rules of the relationship and started wanting more. However, the other person never changed, and will never change. When one person starts needing more, which the other cannot provide, well, tell me if that’s not the beginning of the end?

Anyway, this is none of my business.

How other people decide is their issue… but it’s just hard when you see two cars going to collide, and you are there as a bystander, helpless from stopping it from happening.

On happier thoughts, yes, I am happy being single.

Not just because being single means that you’re free from all the emotional crap that I’ve mentioned above, but at the same time, single also means freedom, flexibility and mobility. 🙂

I cannot say far too much but for now, my life is at a crossroad and I am extremely excited. Just can’t wait for the next several months to happen, and am simply ecstatic.

Hopefully, as things firm up even more, I can share the great news with everyone.

Till then, please do be patient, and do pray for me.

Pray for guidance, good news, and much hope.

Closer to the date, I will share with you my joy and you can ultimately understand why my mood has been pretty positive the past couple of days, and why my heart jumps with joy.

Abangan ang susunod na kabanata!

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About Bonita

I'm a forgetful person. But I think a lot. Every day, a lot of thoughts enter my head. That's why this blog came to be: first, to keep my memories alive through the years, and two, to actually see how I and my thoughts have changed. Please note that I seldom draft or edit my posts. Sometimes, if I'm not careful, I offend some of you, my readers. And while I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable, I am not sorry for being honest or for making well-intentioned mistakes. I will however be the first to admit if I change my mind. Hence, do read and proceed with caution. My life is as colorful and as boring as you make it. I complain many days, but offer some encouragement in others. Life is fluid, it changes. So keep the positives and throw away the negatives, and I do hope that at the end of the day, you will enjoy reading the blog and leaving comments here and there if my posts touches you. Happy reading!
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