At the Crossroad

I am working a lot these days. There’s quite a few ad-hoc projects that I need to finish and work takes a lot of my time. It can often times be tiring that I’ve even declined an invitation to party it up at Room 18 tonight.

Now who does that?

People say that I have a baby face. Some acquaintances say, “If I didn’t know your real age, I’d think that you’re in your early 20s.”

Hmmm… I check myself out in the mirror right now, and feel that I’ve aged. Gone is that lil’ twinkle in the eye, that easy smile, that happy-go-lucky demeanor.

My good friend Fi told me today as I chatted with her on the phone, “Your industry has changed you a lot. I feel that you’re a lot more practical, a lot more materialistic. It’s so different from when I first knew you.”

Gasp! Had I turned into a narcissistic, materialistic biatch under my nose?

I disagree — these days, I still care less about money than getting credit for one’s own work. I care less, period. Maybe she meant that I’ve become more jaded, and for that I totally agree.

And yet, your true friends are our real reflections. When good friends tell you that there’s something different about you, you’ve apt to believe them.

I’ve turned hard.

Stronger, more aggressive, more direct. I wear soft-colored clothes, but feel as if a part of me exudes a don’t-mess-with-me attitude. Honestly however, I don’t really like it as much. It seems to go against the grain of being a woman.

Pastels and pretty skirts can’t help me now.

Maybe an LV Epi bag can. Those are beautiful and oh-so-expensive, aren’t they? 🙁

Anyway, I wonder about my future. My life seems to be at a crossroad, pulling me in multiple directions. I don’t think. I just move forward. Doing my best in whatever I do.

Feels a bit lonely though.

Friends and family have inquired about my personal life. “What personal life?” I replied back. And its true… gone are the social days of carefreeness and on with times of responsibility and ambition.

Too sentimental these few days. Been thinking a bit. Is Taiwan still a good fit for me?

Time can tell.

Till then, this is just to show that yes, I’m still alive and just busy with work.

Have fun this weekend and don’t be a hermit like me.

Go party at 18!

About Bonita

I'm a forgetful person. But I think a lot. Every day, a lot of thoughts enter my head. That's why this blog came to be: first, to keep my memories alive through the years, and two, to actually see how I and my thoughts have changed. Please note that I seldom draft or edit my posts. Sometimes, if I'm not careful, I offend some of you, my readers. And while I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable, I am not sorry for being honest or for making well-intentioned mistakes. I will however be the first to admit if I change my mind. Hence, do read and proceed with caution. My life is as colorful and as boring as you make it. I complain many days, but offer some encouragement in others. Life is fluid, it changes. So keep the positives and throw away the negatives, and I do hope that at the end of the day, you will enjoy reading the blog and leaving comments here and there if my posts touches you. Happy reading!
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2 Responses to At the Crossroad

  1. J. Xu says:

    "When you are inspired by some great purpose, some extraordinary project, all your thoughts break their bounds: Your mind transcends limitations, your consciousness expands in every direction and you find yourself in a new, great and wonderful world. Dormand forces, faculties and talents become alive, and you discover yourself to be a greater person by far than you ever dreamed yourself to be."
    ~ Patanjali

    ===

    Aja aja, Fighting!!! n_n

    .. for now, what I would like to say… if something crosses your path, which will sweap you of your feet -> then you'll know what to do, without hesitation…..

    With big & warm hugs,

    J.

  2. raven says:

    Thanks J Xu, you cannot imagine how great it is to receive such encouraging message from you. 🙂 Very helpful!

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