The Hardest Thing to Do…?

…Is to just hold your head up high, and LET GO.

You asked, you begged and he still doesn’t care enough to say yes? If it’s so hard to even convince him to do something simple for you, then what’s the point of continuing on?

Japanese ex-boyfriend was like that. Why want the repeat of the past?

Sure, it was fun, but happiness comes a lot more easily elsewhere. So why stick your face in a difficult situation?

I remember at work, my colleague would stick himself in an empty room and spend a lot of time arguing with a mysterious woman about his care for her. “I do care for you,” he’d say, “How else would you want me to care more for you?”

You hear the frustration in his voice and you wonder, if love was this complicated and this tough, why are we so sadomasochistic to ourselves that we stay and allow ourselves to feel more like shit?

Aren’t relationships supposed to be at the very least, happy?

Sure, nothing ends with a final happy ending, but at the least, you should feel happier a lot more than feeling like crap.

Once the balance sways dangerously only to the negative territory and you find yourself crying and feeling bad all the time, then maybe it’s already time to cut your losses and just let go.

Some days, I think that I should get off my high horse and job in the stable relationship pool again. After being single for so long, wouldn’t it be nice to actually have someone constant by your side once again?

Then again, I look around and there are really no serious prospects. The one I like the most (mainly because he gives really magnificent bear hugs) turned out to be a dud, and going out on a date with him is like pulling teeth. Imagine dating someone where you’d like to get to know him better, and every time you ask a question, he’d give you a stupid answer.

For example, you’ll ask him how old he was. He’d say that he’s 25, even if he’s so not.

If you asked him what does he like to do, he’d say that he likes hanging out with his gay friends, even though he doesn’t have any.

So on and so forth — how can you have an open conversation with someone who can’t even give you a straight answer?

Sure, it may seem like cocky funny and it does make him a tad more interesting just because he doesn’t give a shit on what anybody else thinks about him.

And yet, it’s also frustrating as well because you’re with him, but it’s just an empty shell. There’s no depth or getting to know this guy…

Raven, drop him,” my girlfriend said. “He doesn’t care. That’s the reason why he can treat you that way is that he doesn’t care. The only person he cares right now is himself. Not you, not anybody else, just him.”

And it’s dangerous to play a game with someone who looks out only for himself.

So sometimes, to play the game, one has to surrender their position and let the other win.

In the end, the dating scene is not just about getting him, the guy that you have a crush on. Often times, people are so focused on getting a particular person, they lose themselves in the process.

Ultimately, dating is about finding the right person for you — someone who will cherish you, open themselves up so that both of you can get to know each other better, and someone who will be his true self with you.

So I lost this battle.

Sure, I was pissed, and it hurt a bit.

But I did it to win the war.

Hopefully, others can have the courage to walk away from their not-working relationships as well. Cheers.

About Bonita

I'm a forgetful person. But I think a lot. Every day, a lot of thoughts enter my head. That's why this blog came to be: first, to keep my memories alive through the years, and two, to actually see how I and my thoughts have changed. Please note that I seldom draft or edit my posts. Sometimes, if I'm not careful, I offend some of you, my readers. And while I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable, I am not sorry for being honest or for making well-intentioned mistakes. I will however be the first to admit if I change my mind. Hence, do read and proceed with caution. My life is as colorful and as boring as you make it. I complain many days, but offer some encouragement in others. Life is fluid, it changes. So keep the positives and throw away the negatives, and I do hope that at the end of the day, you will enjoy reading the blog and leaving comments here and there if my posts touches you. Happy reading!
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3 Responses to The Hardest Thing to Do…?

  1. Brian Lau says:

    People tend to stick to their destructive relationships for the same reason why someone might hold onto something old, cherished, and sentimentally falling apart [I couldn’t think of an appropiate example =/] anyways; they’ve shared good moments together, they’ve put a lotta effort in, they don’t wanna see all that time and energy pass for… [in their eyes] …nothing.

    Another reason might be plain and simple fear – what they’re holding onto is something that they know, its familiar and its tangible. The alternative of the unknown can seem incredibly bleak and like starting all over again.

    What appears as a tantalising sea of experiences and opportunities to some can also appear as a paralysing abyss of loneliness and a draining struggle to others…

  2. J. Xu says:

    .. have I told you that you are one in a million?? … .. no, one in a life-time girl??? …..

    .. me huggin’ you… you really are beauty-licious… inside out :P…..

    *me huggin’ you ^-^

    with love,

    J.

  3. raven says:

    Well said Brian. Maybe that’s why there’s so many “It’s complicated” status in FB. People are so used to what’s in front of them that they refuse to risk losing him/her for a chance of something better. However, it’s like pouring water in a bucket with a hole. After awhile, you wonder if it’s just worth it? Well said B though… well said.

    Thanks J, as always!

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