With great freedom…

…comes great responsibility.

…or a bigger brain.

A friend I haven’t seen for over 10 years visited Taiwan for the long Labor Day weekend and we met up for coffee and a chat yesterday.

He asked me this question which made me think, “Now that you’re in Taiwan with nobody to control you or follow your moves, does that mean you’re a lot more liberated? Does that mean you can do whatever you want? Must be different from the strict days of living at home…”

That question made me stop and think a bit. First, why is he asking me this question especially on the get go? As soon as we hugged and said hi, this was our first topic. Is this guy feeling me out?

Secondly, I wanted to answer as honestly as possible. It’s not everyday you get these sort of questions…

In the end, I answered, “It’s ironic. You may think that with great freedom would come with the ability to do whatever one wants. However, because you have that freedom, you use your head more. Before rules were black and white. You follow them or you break them. Without rules, you think more — in the end, will this decision be beneficial for me or not?”

“So what about dating?” he inquired. “Do you control yourself on who you date?”

“Well, I still go out on dates and give the guy a chance to get to know each other better,” I replied. “However, there are guys that are good to date, while some that aren’t that good. With nobody looking after you, you have to be the one to decide for yourself which is which.”

You may think that with my parents not in Taiwan, I’m able to go around crazily and do whatever I want. It’s true. Take this weekend for example — t’was just INSANE.

Imagine a whole day packed with activities, and in the evening, dropped by on a BBQ houseparty, a farewell party at Maybe, and then dancing at Room 18 till the wee hours of the morning! If it’s not for the morning call, I wouldn’t have gotten up for brunch, a tour around Taipei and Iron Man!

Then again, it was also a weekend of slight disappointments.

This friend, I had a crush on, during my college days. To be honest, I was quite excited to see him again. Hahaha, it’s not everyday that you reconnect with your childhood crush, yes?

That’s the danger of having any expectations — the date went well, but as he lives back home, and I in Taiwan, there’s very little chance of anything worth pursuing. In addition, I realized that Taiwan has made me stronger and more mature. It makes guys back home a wee bit punier than comparison, and being a bit unsure of yourself is a tad bit unattractive.

Anyway, I won’t say much about him. That’s definitely a closed book for sure.

Seriously doubt if we’d reconnect in this way ever again.

As usual, there were a few guys that I bumped into this weekend as well. All very different, but unless they succeed in following through, I wouldn’t want to waste too much space on them.

Anyway, really tired. It’s been a few crazy days so really would like to shower and sleep early. Totally exhausted!

Btw, to end, here’s how I feel right now that’s summarized by this PostSecret postcard:

Sad but true… Hope everybody had a fun weekend, and talk to you soon!

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About Bonita

I'm a forgetful person. But I think a lot. Every day, a lot of thoughts enter my head. That's why this blog came to be: first, to keep my memories alive through the years, and two, to actually see how I and my thoughts have changed. Please note that I seldom draft or edit my posts. Sometimes, if I'm not careful, I offend some of you, my readers. And while I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable, I am not sorry for being honest or for making well-intentioned mistakes. I will however be the first to admit if I change my mind. Hence, do read and proceed with caution. My life is as colorful and as boring as you make it. I complain many days, but offer some encouragement in others. Life is fluid, it changes. So keep the positives and throw away the negatives, and I do hope that at the end of the day, you will enjoy reading the blog and leaving comments here and there if my posts touches you. Happy reading!
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3 Responses to With great freedom…

  1. Anonymous says:

    This is actually the first time I hear that you’re not originally from Taiwan – you do mention your other roots but I always had the idea that you grew up here. If it’s not a secret, where are you (and that friend) from originally?*

    * yes matters little to me in Croatia but still….

    Don’t let expectations get you 🙂
    Goran

  2. raven says:

    Born and bred in the Philippines, dear sir. 🙂 Lil’ island 2 hours from here. Not Taiwanese at all, except for circumstance that brought me here… 🙂

    Thanks for the shout out!

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