I’d like to believe I’m a pretty easy going person.
Most of my friends have no qualms hanging out with me for a longer period of time. I would like to think I can listen well, am open to feedback, I generally keep my word, and extremely generous to those I care about.
Geez, even when I’m mad, I’m still easy going!
For example, am not the type who would throw a tantrum in anger, and resort to hitting a person with everything but the kitchen sink when I get pissed off.
Most likely, I’ll quietly say to myself, “Fuck,” and leave it at that.
The problem with still waters is not only they run deep, but they’re also uninteresting in the long run.
Have you ever been to a peaceful wildlife park, bask in the sunlight and wonderful scenery, finally relieved that you’ve found paradise? And three hours later, you’re bored out of your mind and can’t wait to get back to the hustle and bustle of city life?
That’s one reason why Thailand or the Philippines may hold more attraction than a more boring city like Singapore, Adelaide or Honolulu? These are beautiful places — weather’s great almost 95% of the time, people are well-behaved and clean, and the sights are just breath-taking. However, after spending three weeks there, you wish that life wouldn’t be as perfect, and goddamn, you’d like something more interesting to happen!
This is who I am — easy going, easy to live with, and easy to be taken for granted.
I can’t help it.
I’m a Libran, remember?
I abhor conflict and shouting matches, preferring balanced relationships and peace/harmony.
However, it puts me up for disappointment in the long run, me thinks.
For example, in the dating game, people say that you “have to play the game.”
Unfortunately, I’m the type of person who keeps her word.
If I am attracted to you, I find it difficult to be hard to get.
Regardless, dating is a game, and if I can’t play using the rules, I’m setting myself up for a fall, with no one to blame but myself.
My brother advises me to be sweet, but unavailable.
To be super friendly, but never let anybody take me for granted, by never giving anyone everything they want.
Create emotional distance by being wishy-washy. That way, a guy is never sure how you feel about him and it keeps him guessing and you in his mind.
As for me, if it takes this much trouble, I’d rather cut my ties and run.
“If he lets you go,” my super-biased brother said, “He’s stupid.”
Thanks J, though I’d rather not blame him for being so.
The stupid guy who can’t appreciate an amazing girl when he sees it — or the girl who’s liking this stupid guy?
I don’t like punishing myself. I dislike being vulnerable, and I hate getting hurt when all the warnings signs are all there.
And the warning signs are the little things — for example, yesterday, he didn’t invite me out for our regular gathering because he expected that I’ll keep my word and be there. Strike one.
He was late, and he didn’t make contact, knowing that I’ll be able to take care of myself. For a moment, I was worried he wasn’t going to show, and to be insensitive to others, is just wrong. Strike two.
I won’t even share strike three, but it’s these little things that worry me, and I doubt anybody would disagree.
Sigh, I was happy, but now, my mood has shifted to mellowness. Do you think I’m merely overthinking this, or shall I listen to my gut feel and back off when I feel that the guy isn’t reciprocating the interest as much as I’ve wanted him to?
This is depressing indeed. How fast the winds change, huh?
On the upside, I’d rather look into the pros, and at least, with my dating life on hold, I’d be able to concentrate better on my studies, which is far better in the long run.
So yes, feel free to envelop me with your caring arms and tell me everything’s going to be all right. I don’t really need anybody’s pity, but it would be great for you to share with me how you play this dating game, and hopefully share with me some tips on how to weather this brewing storm.
If love is a game, I’d rather not play it. Blame it on being a true romantic, but I believe that love should be real, go with the flow, comfortable, and easy — just like how I am in and out of love.
I don’t think love in its truest sense is not easy going.
So yes, I’m starting to let it go.
And this makes me sad, because I am really starting to care for the man… 😦