Mien Bao or Ai?

I just had a fun time with Simple Guy today as we first got lost trying to find the Martyr Shrine, then afterwards strolling around the park joking and talking.

Check out a few cool photos — beautiful aren’t they?
Hey, what’s this Indian doing here? Simple Guy and I aren’t sure if this is a flying head, or why there’s an Indian in the middle of this beautiful Taiwanese park…

Gumamelas… lovely, isn’t it? In the Philippines, kids would smash these flowers into small pieces and use the sap to blow soap bubbles. Ah, makes me nostalgic le…

Beautiful rare orchids in this small orchid garden. Pretty special, huh? This is what the orchid looks like from afar:

Btw, if you think some of the photos look terrific, thank Simple Guy. He takes pretty good photos, while yours truly is truly dismal in camera use. Here’s another orchid for your viewing pleasure:

Weather was perfect, company was great, and I enjoyed my afternoon. This photo reminds me of our garden at home in Manila — too bad Taipei don’t have a lot of backyard gardens:

There was a rose garden and I shared with Simple Guy the poignant story of the Little Prince and his special rose. Haha, surely, this will make him think back again with his statement that there are many fish in the sea:

And this is my flower:

Private story, but this rose is me. 🙂

Thanks to Simple Guy for taking such beautiful photos!

===================================

“Hope you have fun in your date,” my girl-friend SMS me after she calls and finds out am on a date, or so we hope.

But since Simple Guy had something else to do later this evening, I give her a call afterwards and she invites me to Brown Sugar to party it up with her colleagues. I wanted to go, but felt that hadn’t really spent so much time being bored with a book, so I later change my mind and politely offer my excuses.

However, as I gushed about Simple Guy during my call to her, she tells me that she’s happy that we’re taking it slow and seeing if we’re really compatible before jumping into anything. “We’re not getting any younger, Raven,” she warns. “You have to be careful who you choose. Think about opportunity costs…”

I sense some disapproval in her voice, and I understand.

Compared to the wealthy bankers and finance officers that I surround myself 24/7 at work, Simple Guy by contrast is poor as a church mouse. Today, we had a nice simple dinner at the Shilin night market, and knowing that I probably earn more than he, I was more than happy to pay for some of the snacks. Actually, I found it sweet that he had insisted on paying for most of the meal.

Indeed, t’is a far cry from the opulent expensive dinners I’m used to when dating bankers. It’s not as if Simple Guy can whip out a platinum colored American Express card and charge our meal to the company. Geez, am even lucky if he has a credit card (okay, so am exaggerating but you get my point).

Nevertheless, after being showered with material offerings, and find the guy unattractive because his head is bigger than his ass, I find myself leaning towards the simpler man, the more sincere man, the man who gives and hurts because he’s giving what he treasures the most.

Reminds me of the Bible Story where Jesus points to the simple mother and her son who gives a penny and says that her offering was more valuable than the Pharisee’s bag of money because she gave all she had…

Anyway, you get my point, do you?

I’ve never been super materialistic. Just not in my genes, I guess. Unlike most women, though I can equally appreciate a great USD100 meal, I don’t specifically yearn for it. What for? If I really wanted one, I can very well afford it an splurge once in a blue moon. Personally, a good man isn’t quantified by the amount of money he has in a bank. Rather, it’s how much love and care he showers to you, and how you are more the merrier because of this.

In Taiwan, there’s a saying, “Mien bao huo ai?” or “Bread or Love?” showing us the basis on why many women are taught to choose men with fatter wallets over those with bigger hearts. “Love won’t feed you,” they say.

And for most part, it’s true.

And yet, they forget my capability to sustain my own lifestyle, to work, to survive. I’ve always known that I will never go hungry. I work, I get paid. So what if my boyfriend doesn’t make gazillions of dollars? What’s the point of being able to afford luxurious things if you’re emotionally or physically abused at home?

I find myself thinking about Simple Guy more. I appreciate his sincerity and simplicity, and though I have no clue if he’s interested or whether he’s to pursue me or not, I do appreciate going back to when I was 21, when relationships were clear cut and you date guys plainly because you like them, and not because they’re the most practical choice.

My friend Venia asked me yesterday, “Are you dating to get married, or just for a casual have-fun fling?”

That made me think a bit. After a pause, I answer, “I don’t think am the type who enters any relationship because I just want to have fun. Am not built that way. When I choose someone, I enter the relationship consciously, seriously. However, I will not presume that we will get married. Sure, that would be great, but being in a relationship is a phase of discovery of the other. It would be great if the relationship ends in marriage, but if you find that you’re incompatible, then that’s okay too.”

In other words, I don’t do casual relationships. Otherwise, I’d rather be single and date around. However, when I choose a guy, I see his potential to be something more, and though I hope the relationship ends in marriage, well, if you’re not meant to be, then it’s okay to go your separate ways.”

The problem is,” my girl-friend says today, “We’re not getting any younger. You can’t just date anyone just because. There has to be some purpose….”

But what if my purpose is that this person makes me happy and I find pleasure in spending time with him. Is that not reason enough? Shall the guy be able to make a decent living and be able to support me before I can even consider him?

These past few months, I’ve met many men who fit the bill of being a good provider.

But good lovers, they do not make.

I’d rather be with someone I choose and makes me happy, rather than someone who can pay for my meals and cloak me with mink. As if I don’t have too many clothes…

Take for example this guy I met yesterday at the Brass Monkey and Carnegies where we partied till the wee hours of the morning. He’s tall, cute, dresses and dances well, and has all the qualities you’d like for a boyfriend.

Unfortunately, his Facebook page says otherwise.

Employer?

He answers, “I am my own boss!”

Position?
“Doggy style please.”

More information:

Well, how do I describe this… bend over… turn around…”

Ha. Ha. Ha.

Wicked sense of humor, but as a boyfriend? No thank you.

Some of you think of me as a fool. “She’s crazy, because people in love are crazy,” some of you may rationalize.

You know what’s crazy?

Crazy are those who marry someone because they think the woman is socially acceptable, enjoys the approval of their mommy and daddy or because they make good financial providers.

Look, it may not be Simple Guy in the very end. I’m not in particular targeting him and if this whole dating thing doesn’t work out between him and I, that’s fine. There are other fishes in the sea. Don’t misunderstand.

Do you know the popular Mastercard series of ads?

That’s what I meant — love is priceless.

I’d rather give my time and company for free, instead of unconsciously charging a guy a price for being with me. It makes me feel cheap, and would rather choose to be with someone, than be with someone merely because am obligated to him…

Sure, I will eat my words someday. When I am in the gutter starving, I may regret my words. “You could’ve had your palace,” some may laugh. “But you choose to squat.”

No, my dear.

I chose to love...

Happy weekend everyone!

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About Bonita

I'm a forgetful person. But I think a lot. Every day, a lot of thoughts enter my head. That's why this blog came to be: first, to keep my memories alive through the years, and two, to actually see how I and my thoughts have changed. Please note that I seldom draft or edit my posts. Sometimes, if I'm not careful, I offend some of you, my readers. And while I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable, I am not sorry for being honest or for making well-intentioned mistakes. I will however be the first to admit if I change my mind. Hence, do read and proceed with caution. My life is as colorful and as boring as you make it. I complain many days, but offer some encouragement in others. Life is fluid, it changes. So keep the positives and throw away the negatives, and I do hope that at the end of the day, you will enjoy reading the blog and leaving comments here and there if my posts touches you. Happy reading!
This entry was posted in Men, Relationships, Things I Ponder About. Bookmark the permalink.

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