You know you made a mistake…

…by sharing any news with somebody who don’t like you too much.

T’is a hard lesson that I need to learn time and time again.

Once a person has his/her mind set about you, it’s really hard to change it.

Say, for example, this person perceives you as a nice person. Even if you did something uncool, he/she would still defend you by thinking, “Am sure there’s a good reason for that. I don’t think she’s that kind of a girl.”

Which is true — one should stop judging other people unless you’re aware of the entire story.

However, when a person sees the negative in you, say, you’re selfish, all of your actions will revolve around being selfish.

For example, if you call that person and he doesn’t pick up after the sixth ring, you’re selfish… because you give him a missed call with the intention of wanting him to call you back to save yourself a few pennies.

Or you’re uncool when you complain about a staff member’s bad service to his boss on somebody’s behalf. “Why? She never did anything bad to you. Why complain?”

Geez man. Chill.

That reminds me to stay away from negative influences. They’re too much ma-fan to keep in contact with. Anything good you do, will never be recognized. Anything bad will be hyped up till there’s no tomorrow and your heart and ear hurt.

There’s far more positive people to surround oneself with. Why go for someone who’s just a pain to get along with? When people have a bias against you, as much as possible, stay away — or just get your hand bit hard.

There are a million fish in the sea,” is an adage that can go with both friendships and any type of relationship. Haha, too bad there are some people you really can’t choose to be with. Say, your colleagues. What if they don’t like you? What do you do? You’d still have to work with them day in and day out unless one of you quit.

My best solution is just to nudge the problem under the rug and just minimize interaction with that person. Some people think I’m escaping reality by not facing the issue head-on, but come on. What do you want me to do?

There are more things to occupy my mind at work than to worry about one or two people who don’t like me la. It’s not as if I have time to resolve differences when these are quite common in such a diverse office.

Call me heartless but you can’t please everybody. If I worry about every single individual who dislike me, I’d go crazy right now.

I expect to be professional in doing my job, fulfilling my responsibilities as efficiently and effectively as possible. Hopefully, they’ll just put away their differences and negative opinions of me and concentrate on the job at hand. Keep your personal feelings private, and let’s just work for the betterment of the company!

Let’s not waste time in petty issues like you not liking me. Work isn’t a popularity contest.

How about you? How do you handle people who don’t like you but you absolutely need to be with? How do you relate to people with a bias against you (and won’t change their minds about you anytime soon)?

Do share. Would be great to get more mature input. 🙂

Happy weekend!

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About Bonita

I'm a forgetful person. But I think a lot. Every day, a lot of thoughts enter my head. That's why this blog came to be: first, to keep my memories alive through the years, and two, to actually see how I and my thoughts have changed. Please note that I seldom draft or edit my posts. Sometimes, if I'm not careful, I offend some of you, my readers. And while I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable, I am not sorry for being honest or for making well-intentioned mistakes. I will however be the first to admit if I change my mind. Hence, do read and proceed with caution. My life is as colorful and as boring as you make it. I complain many days, but offer some encouragement in others. Life is fluid, it changes. So keep the positives and throw away the negatives, and I do hope that at the end of the day, you will enjoy reading the blog and leaving comments here and there if my posts touches you. Happy reading!
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2 Responses to You know you made a mistake…

  1. J. Xu says:

    Hej Raven ,

    I would like to say hi (^-^). (first, I would like to apologize for my bad english -.-“, I hope you can make any sense out of it :P. )
    I have discovered your blog a few weeks ago and… I have read everything in a single night… o.O .. I smiled… cried and… and I have not felt so good in a long time… it felt like I was… (I am searching for the right word, but I can not seem to find it…..) maybe free? and understood. It was a real help for me in a difficult period in my life (men… -.-“), so I have learned a lot by reading your blog! A lot of things you wrote… I already new, but I did not want to face the facts, it was just to painfull.
    But after reading your blog, a had to face the facts, otherwise…
    It was time to stop fooling myself… and wake up! Your blog really helped me with that!
    Thnx!!! for posting.

    You are right… most of the time, the positive things about a person, we take it for granted and when you are doing something wrong, it is like you are suddenly in the point of attention.

    People will always gossip… whatever you do.
    If… like you have mentioned, somebody doesn´t like you, you are always in the wrong in that persons eyes… no matter what.
    For example… when you have always delivered a good job and something bad happened, that person will say things like `I knew it… she can not handle this kind of things´, but on the other hand, if you are doing good (you get credits by your boss and co-workers, for example) and that person does not like you, than she would say things like ´she is always showing off’.
    So it is really good of you that you do not listen to these people, just listen to the people who really care for you, because they are the ones who want to see you succeed… riding in that d%mn fine Bently down the road ;P.
    A lot of people would love to see you fall.
    You can not get along with everybody… not if you are true to yourself….. to your own feelings. What I always keep saying to myself… if a person wants to ride with me (aka a friend),that is fine (good company is always 😀 welcome), if not, that is fine too, but watch out that I do not ran you over ;P, if you stand in my way.
    I am not sure how you see this (I think the same, but not sure), but the more people I see and meet, the more I get repulsed by them. They are not real… in every way. In the beginning everything is new and fresh, so you put a lot of time and efford in this new relation. But as time goes by… your opinion/assumptions about a person gets confirmed (the voice inside of you which you would not listen to, shame on me, by trusting them to much), you get to see their true faces… their real intentions. In the end, friendship is over and you are mad at yourself that you did not listened to your gut-feeling… leaving you alone and empty.
    In the end…., the people who will stand by you, I can count them only in one hand, that is for sure.
    You do not get to choose the people in your life, but sometimes…, you get awfully lucky ^-^!

    If there is a co-worker with whom you can not get a long very well… keep him/her close… as people say….. keep your friends close, but your enemy closer.
    If there ain’t a reason to see the people that you do not like….. don’t! What good will it do to you and the other person?, besides heating things up and feeling sh%t and irritated by seeing them… NADA. I am speaking out of experience. If you need to work together or whatever, then you should be professional, but let that person know who is the boss :P. Do not argue, as you have said, it will cause unnecessary ‘ma fan’ at work, but if things really get out of hands… aka, you are standing in front of a wall… and you can not seem to get through, although you have tried, on a friendly way… then I would step up. The other person has to know what kind of pain in the *ss he/she is.

    By reading your blog, I know that you are an intelligent woman who knows what she wants and know hows to get things done. Yes, it is interesting to read others opinion about this, but I think that you have already made up your mind about it… I am sure that you already know what to do. So again, it is interesting, but stay true to your own feelings, because they are the ones who give you the right advice/answers and I am sure that it has already told you what to do.

    Oh gosh… I have written way to much -.-“… :P. I keep reading it over and over and adding stuff, but I will stop now, otherwise it will be way…. waaaaay to long O.o… :).
    I do not know why, but I feel really comfortable reading your blog. This may sound strange, but it is like ‘talking’ to a good friend :D.. I really hope that you could make any sense out of what I have been trying to say and want to say, because I have noticed that it was a bit difficult for me to express myself in a different language. I hope you do not get freaked out by this 😛 long post. Please don’t -.-“, hih.

    Ok, I will really… o.O ….. really :P, stop now and I look forward to your future posts.

    With love,

    J.

  2. raven says:

    Dear J,

    Am sorry that there are people who had hurt you. Sometimes, it happens. You wonder how it is that someone you love dearly could hurt you so much. But that’s the risk of opening oneself up to the other. The other extreme is to close oneself up, but if so, what’s the point of loving, right?

    From your comment, you have wonderful insights and couldn’t help but nod my head in some of what you wrote. I am totally not freaked out by your post. Actually, I’m touched because it shows that I’m not alone – that others also go through the same joy and pain. Gives you a new perspective on things, don’t you think?

    It’s comments like yours that keep me posting despite hectic schedules. No worries about your English, it’s perfectly fine! It’s my hope that we can remain genuine despite all the mess our lives seem to be in, and looking forward to more insights in the future! You will, and always be, welcome to share. Thank you for making my week! 🙂

    Raven

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