My thoughts drifted to a woman who once pulled me aside and said, “Raven, I know you meant no harm but I’m a firm believer that if you feel uncomfortable about a certain situation, you’d have to speak up even at the risk of offending the person. Because it’s better to speak out than to explode and never talk to that person again.”
I had no clue what she was talking about so I urged her on.
“Well,” she frankly started her tirade, “Remember last weekend we were at the beach and I was acting really weird? Well, I’d like to apologize about that.”
I have the memory of a mouse so I consoled her that it was no big deal. I have felt that she was sometimes strangely silent and walked out around the beach the other day, but heck, maybe she wanted some time alone for herself.
Boy, am I just dense.
“It’s just that I’ve been hurt before,” she continued. “That’s why I’ve learned to be extra careful. And when I saw how well you and (boyfriend’s name) got along well together, well, all the fears came rushing back.”
Ooooookay….. so where did that come from?
Her boyfriend and I share the same industry and long work hours at different firms. Hence, whenever I see him, I find pleasure in talking about work, work and more boring work. Maybe it has something to do of her being a teacher?
But what is she being jealous about — she is with him! And I have no interest in attached men!
“Five years ago, I went out with this guy. And it wasn’t really working out but that’s not the point,” she shared.
“The thing is, I felt that him and this girlfriend of mine had this chemistry but of course, I ignored it saying that I was very silly,” she continues. “Well, we broke up one day and the girl even went to my house, held my hand as I cried and said that I should find someone better… that maybe he was seeing someone else.”
“Two weeks later,” she related. “They got together. I was devasted. Am not really the type of girl who takes on revenge but that screwed me up so badly. I sent her a message, ‘I am not a vengeful type of woman, but know that karma — what goes around, comes around.'”
Hooookay. So for some reason, I am being punished by some other woman’s sins?
So ultimately, what is the point of this conversation?
“I like you a lot Raven,” she summarized, “And I think you’re very cool. But I don’t want it so that I won’t want to hang out with you anymore…”
“… Am not a jealous or possessive person, but I don’t want that one day, I’ll decide not to hang out with you anymore and not call you,” she ended.
Wow, is she threatening me — for what? Being myself?
She then sweetly advised, “There’s such a thing about being respectful to the girlfriend. I think when you have a boyfriend yourself, you’ll know exactly what I mean. And that means, respecting some distance.”
Oh my god.
I don’t know whether she’s psycho — or that I am?
She has made me as if am a threat to her, even though I am far from being a threat. As a rule, I do NOT date attached men and I’ve told her exactly that — albeit sweetly. And if I was salivating over her boyfriend, I wouldn’t be friends with her. I’d just snatch him away from her watchful nose!
But it does bother me — this conversation.
Am not used to be wrongfully accused — and why oh why do my guy friends’ girlfriends always act this way?
My best friend Top Climber once said, “Why is it that every single girl I date is mighty jealous of you?! As if! I should make them sign a contract saying that they shouldn’t be so before I date them…”
What’s even worse, once they are actually comfortable enough to be with me, the guy breaks up with them and their heart, and then they turn to me for consolace.
Truth be told, I am better friends sometimes with the ex-girlfriends which spook my guy friends out. Of course, am not blabbing on them but that still hasn’t prevented them from feelihng that it’s weird.
*throws hands up in the air*
I don’t know — what are your thoughts really?
Do you think am being paranoid or maybe that’s why quite a handful of women hate my stinking guts. Once of my girlfriends (now former), ignored my facebook request because she partially blames me for her divorce.
She thought I dated her ex-husband after they broke up — even though it’s not at the very least true. 😦
She was really nice when she was still here and the whole thing breaks my heart.
But then again, if she doesn’t ask to clarify what really happened, well what can I say?
Anyway, am not really used to being a woman’s public enemy number 1 — and didn’t even do anything. Last weekend, she was supposed to invite me to her housewarming party and didn’t.
Needless to say, I was slightly disappointed.
But come to think of it, it may have been for the best. If I am surrounded by a woman wherein which I must learn how to shun my true self just for her sake, so she wouldn’t be jealous…. well, that’s just too much ma fan.
Que sera sera… what will be will be.
Okay, am off my soapbox now. Gotta start reading Harry Potter 7.
Geez, don’t blame you guys for thinking that some women are just psycho.
Or maybe just insecure.