A Week of Negative Energies

I am upset.

The most upset I’ve ever been was back in High School and our valedictorian, who ironically works for P&G, made me cry.

Twice.

I was in my pre-teens then, and haven’t really forgotten.

That’s me I guess — when I get irritated, I have the memory of an elephant. 5 to 30 minutes later, the anger itself disappears and I have no inkling on why I was mad, save that I knew that this person made me angry. But the negative emotion?

Gone.

These past three days, someone had continually tried to poke me on the sides, trying to rile me up. In the end, in a barrage of email attacks that seemingly came out of nowhere, he wrote after threatening and finally dropping a project he was heading halfway:

Canceling or not, it’s up to you. I’m just proposing; if we keep like this, I rather let this project being handle by someone who you could trust with. Or by someone who could work with you. Besides, you’re in the leadership position. Shouldn’t you like always made the final call?

You always wanted to have any project run according to your desires.

What the f*ck?

As for having settle privately? I was free for a face-to-face discussion ever since last year. As a leader of this “marvelous” organization have you ever look into your staff’s feedbacks?E ver notice? Haven’t you realized? But now? “You’re Too Busy, We Are All Too Busy” “Too Busy” that not even a phone call could be ever done.If a merely simple phone call cannot be establish, then how do you think there would be time for a face-to-face conversation? And the issues are not what I think you understand or not.

In the entire human civilization, no organization, no country, no nation, not even a person is perfect, without flaws. That include myself. I admit, I’m not perfect.

Maybe you are, but I know I’m not. As a leader, one’s objective and task is to look into any possible imperfection or problems and correct them, avoid to happen again in the future.

You’re a clever girl, smart enough to spot everything I’d said from last year, and recent these few couple of days. And one “bitching” person — a word you would probably/normally use for describing someone like my action now — out of your staff, might ease on your current “stress” I guess, you and everybody are surprised of what I’ve been writing here for these days, something normally I never do, never did, although I’m doing it now. However, like I just said, “we’re all just too busy for a simple phone call or for a simple conversation in person; too busy to being human”.

Again, what the heck is he talking about?! Trust me, emails like these just came out of nowhere. Things were fine and dandy, and all of a sudden, he gets all emotional and starts lashing out. Unfortunately, I’m his target.

And don’t believe his B.S. — We actually saw and spent the whole Saturday together last week, and he never said anything. We were still laughing and hugging each other. And three days later, he just starts lashing out!

Again, what the f*ck?

One thing I hate the most is when guys PMS — they’re even worse than women.

And now, my ex is stepping in. He has shut me out from my own organization without even consulting me. Wow, he really has good timing. And yes, I am equally pissed as it’s none of his business.

I really hate it when guys step in when they shouldn’t be, as you can see with my post on the past few days.

This is so frustrating.

After spending 18 months devoting your time pro bono to an organization, people lash out to you and call you an inefficient leader. Afterwards, somebody else butts his head when it shouldn’t be.

Enough.

I’ve had enough.

I don’t get seriously mad easily. But really, they are testing my patience.

Enough GT with your ranting, and bitching if you call it. Btw, I’ve never said you were bitching, you were the one who coined the word.

And MDQ, stop — Don’t test me.

This really isn’t my week, is it?

About Bonita

I'm a forgetful person. But I think a lot. Every day, a lot of thoughts enter my head. That's why this blog came to be: first, to keep my memories alive through the years, and two, to actually see how I and my thoughts have changed. Please note that I seldom draft or edit my posts. Sometimes, if I'm not careful, I offend some of you, my readers. And while I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable, I am not sorry for being honest or for making well-intentioned mistakes. I will however be the first to admit if I change my mind. Hence, do read and proceed with caution. My life is as colorful and as boring as you make it. I complain many days, but offer some encouragement in others. Life is fluid, it changes. So keep the positives and throw away the negatives, and I do hope that at the end of the day, you will enjoy reading the blog and leaving comments here and there if my posts touches you. Happy reading!
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