It’s always nice to have girl best friends…
When girl best friends get together, we like to b*tch about life (e.g., “So how’s your love life?”), make excuses for our men (e.g., “Maybe he’s just busy?“) or curse them for shattering our hearts to itsy-bitsy pieces (e.g., “He’s an asshole and is totally not worth it. Don’t worry, karma will get him.“)
But how about guy best friends?
I don’t know about you, but when I hang around with my guy best friend, yes, we still do b*tch about life, but in a more practical setting as they tend to be more interested in other aspects of your life (e.g., “How’s the new job going? Will it pay more $$$?”), tell you the truth as it is (e.g., “Sorry baby, but he was just using you and never really intended to get serious with you in the first place”) and just never cuts corners in making you feel better, (e.g., “My gosh, aren’t you so stupid?! You fell for that?! Sigh. But I still love you anyway.”).
My guy best friend is a guy most of you readers are familiar with.
It’s Mike, also known as my relationship guru (even though I never really listen to his advice).
Presenting Mike, my best guy friend…
And it’s his birthday today, so what the heck, why not dedicate today’s entry to him, thanking him for being there for me over the past 2 years.
I met Mike over two years ago because of coincidence.
It was the first day of my advanced Chinese classes, and in a span of an hour, my teacher managed to scare the sh*ts of the class by engaging in a debate with this opinionated ABC student (who walked out and never came back btw).
Coincidentally, he popped his head in the door just to say, “Hi!” Turns out, Zhang lao shi was his teacher for two years, and that year, he was just accepted at Shida, majoring in Chinese Studies.
Shell-shocked on how loud the argument during the class were, I bumped into Mike again at the school lobby, caught his attention and asked him whether or not I should stay with this teacher.
Imagine, just the first day and he was already picking fights in class!
Mike advised me to stay with Zhang Lao Shi — one of the few advices that I actually did listen to, and never really regretted.
And that was the start of a tumulous yet beautiful friendship.
Afterwards, I remember that we talked for three continuous hours outside the library. I simultaneously discovered that his girlfriend at that time was a fellow Filipino-Chinese whom I insisted to meet and have dinner with. That’s because heck, you don’t really get to see a lot of Filipino-Chinese peeps in Taipei.
We did, and we all hit it off.
Soon, we would often hang out together, with me latching on like a third wheel but never really made felt like it. Both Mike, his girlfriend and I became very good friends. 😉
But as good things come to an end, Mike and his girlfriend broke their relaionship off.
It was an emotional and bad breakup that resulted in me being stuck in between, with both parties trying as much as possible to make things work.
However, work it we did, and am still very close friends with both of them. I look at both as my best friends in Taiwan.
I owe Mike a lot of things. Am not really sure how we’ve remained good friends even up till now, especially since our relationship has always gone through some up and downs. Believe me, there were quite a handful of times where he had made me cry and made me lost my temper.
“I don’t think we’ll ever work it out in a relationship,” he said. “You’ll drive me completely nuts!!!“
“Well, Mr. Have-A-High-Opinion-Of-Myself,” I retorted. “Don’t think I’ll ever like hooking up with you!”
“Ha! That’s because you haven’t kissed me yet,” Mike teased. “All the girls I’ve kissed fell head over heels in love with me! Am a pretty good kisser you know.“
But one thing for sure, we’ll both drive each other completely nuts…!
For example, it irritates him to death whenever I ask the waiter what’s their menu’s specialty when we eat in a new restaurant. For him, just order whatever you want and be pleasantly surprised.
Or how about the time when I was to treat him to dinner, and then didn’t have enough money! I had to borrow money from him which pissed him off because I was supposed to treat him, not him treat me (His point: “If you really care, you would’ve made sure you had enough money in your wallet!”)
Or the time when I promised to see his museum tour at the National Palace Museum and couldn’t wake up in time. Ha! I merely apologized once (he wanted tme to really show how sorry I am and didn’t feel that that was enough) and then we then ignored each other two weeks. That almost destroyed our friendship right then and there!
Or how we’d constantly argue about this and that, sometimes leaving me in tears, with him blaming me for my ignorance, while me holding steadfast on my own beliefs of a certain subject…
As for me, I’m irritated when he can’t meet me at a specific place and time and asks me to meet him somewhere else. In return, he gets irritated when I’m late because I make such a big deal about not being tardy, and being the one to order movie tickets online (My excuse, I have no credit card).
He also gets mad when I give him a miss call, and then he calls back to ask me what’s up. His point, why don’t I use my phone credits to call him? So stingy when I have so much money to spend.
But regardless of our cat/dog, love/hate relationship, I have to give Mike and I’s friendship some credit.
I mean, it takes a lot of patience to hear me constantly complain about my ex-boyfriends starting from Michan till my second ex, and then giving advice that is listened to, but usually ignored…
It takes a lot of understanding to look at my bad side and still care for me anyway, only to be pleasantly surprised when he realized that I have more capabilities than choosing the wrong guy…
As he had said, “I usually know you as an emotional wreck, but I have to admit, I really admire what you’ve accomplished in (organization’s name). Didn’t really know you’ve had it in you.”
It takes a lot of money to be in 24/7 call whenever Raven has a panic attack, worries about her then boyfriend being dead in the US, or just being there for me whenever I need it (I remember his phone bill was HUGE during the times when I have a breakup)…
He was there when I broke up with Ex#2, and hugged and comforted me when that happened, telling me that there’s nothing wrong with me, I am great, and I deserve better… and I should just move on (yes, I am , Mikey!)…
He actually makes an effort to see in a regular basis, and is one of the few people who’ll actually call and say, “Hi! Just wanna say that I miss you!” Later, he’s encouraged me to do the same, and I’ve gradually trying to be less selfish and get over my policy of not calling guys and call him more…
He’s encouraged me to date around (and happy when I am dating around and giving guys a chance), at least try a one-night stand (so you know if you like it or not), and engage in a fling with my cutie French crush (even telling me how I should do it)…
He was probably the one who was seriously worried when I disappeared to go to Myanmar, and have been calling me regularly until he reached me when I got back (Seriously, the moment I turned on my cell when I got back, my phone rang and it was him, seriously worried).
He taught me to slow down, not fall in love immediately with a guy in 2 weeks, don’t get involved with married men (none so far, although one was divorced) and basically ask him two questions before I start dating them: 1) “How long will you stay in Taiwan?” and 2) “Do you believe in the spark?” The theory is that, the shorter a guy’s stay is, the less he wants a serious relationship (which I want) and for the latter, we don’t want fly-by-night men to date with. We want guys who stay through thick and thin.
And one thing about Mike is that he’s honest.
Whereas my girlfriends would sugar-coat the truth, Mike tells me as it is, even if it HURTS!!! Let me just give you some examples:
“He called, and when you’re going to set a date, he hung up! Hahaha, you scared him away! Stop taking charge of dating and just let the guy do his thing!”
“He never really intended to be in a serious relationship with you. You just cajoled him into it. Hence, there’s an 80% chance of breaking up. He’s just not ready, Raven.. And you just have to accept that.“
“If you get into a relationship with him, it’ll just be a fling. A purely physical thing. That’s cause he’s leaving my dear! Just have fun, and have that experience under your belt.“
or the worst of all…
“You know, you’re a very attractive, sexy woman,” he said. “But one thing that totally bothers me is your blackheads on your nose! They’re relaly unattractive.”
But through it all, one thing I’m thankful of is that no matter what happens, he’s on my side.
And that’s definitely a gift.
So happy birthday Mikey!
Do know that I don’t deserve the friendship, but equally thankful for it.
Hope our friendship is one that’ll last a lifetime!
Through good times, and bad times…!
Miserable singles unite!!! YEAH!!!
Haha, just kidding. Single or not, thanks for the friendship. 😀
Lurve ya! ;-D