Dating Ad Hilarities ;-D

My colleagues and I just came across Tealit.com’s page for personals last week.

We just couldn’t help ourselves… some postings were just hilarious!

Take for example, surprice… surprice, this woman believes that life is full of “surprices!

An online ad is like your resume — Using a few words, you try to sell yourself and impress other people.

But how can you impress people if your ad is full of grammatical and typographical errors, especially at a time where spelling and grammar checks are readily available?

What’s more, does selling yourself include mentioning that you aren’t anything special, merely ordinary and your life isn’t that splendid at all? Great, so what type of guy would be interested with that? As they say, like attracts like… so what type of guy are you trying to attract, my friend?

Oh, and yes, exploring new things consist of coffee, dinner and movies…

*bored yawn*

So let me think, if new things include drinking, eating and watching a movie, I wonder what her old life is like right now?!

I don’t know with you guys, but I think looking at and checking your online ad for obvious errors before pressing that “publish” button are is very important in placing an online ad. Otherwise, one has a tendency to look stupid and uneducated.

But that’s just me.

I wouldn’t be surpriced if there are foreign guys (See? She doesn’t want Chinese men! Or couples too so no threesome for this baby!) who do respond to this ad, hoping to find some ditsy, excited Taiwanese lady who’s just out to have some exciting fun.

I mean, having coffee, dinner and a movie can’t be too hard, right? It’s never really bad to find someone who is that low-maintenance…

Or how about this?

Here’s a guy who just doesn’t want new things. Instead, he is particular in what he wants:

Yes ladies and gentlemen… he wants someone with a BIG BALL.

*scratches head*

I wonder what type of ball is he talking about…?

A big basketball, perhaps?

He can’t be talking about that other ball we’re all thinking of, right? Cause he wants one BIG ball, not balls.

But at least, he’s decent in what he wants — language exchange. And in return, he’ll help you find a good job in Taiwan (Gee, I didn’t know coaches like him exist!), dance as well as learn Chinese and the Taiwanese culture.

Not bad at all, ey?

But be warned.

According to his ad, he’s not serious. So yeah, there’s a big risk that he is joking about what he can offer, and yes, he wants to keep his privates.

He’s kinda scared somebody might steal them.

Or in his words, harrass him. 😉

He also has foreign friends he can introduce you too. I wonder if they want to keep their privates as well…?

Regardless, don’t worry because he majored in English.

This ensures that there won’t be any communication gaps between the two of you, if you do so dare to contact him.

Oh, and yes, this ad is primarily targeted for women…. with balls.

Very unconfusing, ey? 😀

Well, not as unconfusing as this next ad from another white dude:

Yes, he has a girlfriend!

But no, it ain’t serious, and they’re not committed to each other!

In other words, he has a girlfriend who’s stupid (in my own opinion) and willing to be his FUBU (don’t even ask me what this means), and is probably fat, dumb and happy that her boyfriend is boinking somebody on the side.

And yeah, he’d want to just have occasional meetings with you…

So don’t be a stalker now!

If you’re adventurous and daring… and maybe even as stupid as his girlfriend with whom he’s not serious and uncommitted with, do give him a call!

God, I sure do hope not a lot of Taiwanese women respond to this ad…

And if they do, they deserve all the lack of respect they can get.

Hope to God though, at least, he’s hot.

And on the positive side, at least he’s honest.

Some guys would wait 2 years after dating you to tell you they have a girlfriend.

But at least, this guy is upfront on his relationship status: Has a girlfriend, but ain’t serious! 😀

However, nothing tops this last ad we saw when it comes to honesty…

Omigosh, we were just laughing ourselves to tears when we saw this ad:

This is so classic — “Wanting sex does not make anybody more or less human than anyone else… it is a basic need but it is still a need.”

LOL!!!

This guy ain’t picky too — Calling all beautiful women who just wants to get laid!!!

Hmmm… do you think this guy would get any responses?

*thinking*

Oh gosh, will there be any girls who are THAT horny and THAT desperate in Taiwan?!

Oh, but then again, you can play the “I-don’t-want-to-BS-anymore” card and just say that you’re not really that desperate to get laid, you just hate playing games and sick of all the rules.

That makes is sound all the more better, I guess…

Then again, beautiful women always get the chance to get laid. They have lines of guys wanting to do something with them. So why would they contact this guy for some piece of action?!

Hmmm… maybe that girl from the first ad would be interested…

She’s looking to explore new and interesting things to do, right?

And maybe if she’s bored enough, she may even try it.

Wait, she IS bored.

That’s why she’s placing an ad… 🙂

Haha, no offense to those who’s placing online ads.

Raven’s just being naughty today… :o)

Don’t get me wrong, it’s definitely a daring thing to do, ingenius depending on who replies.

Don’t worry, I’ve read some pretty good ones as well, which I may or may not share with you (haven’t made up my mind yet) and yes, I might be interested in trying to reply to some of them.

But that, is left for another blog entry in the near future, should definitely be interesting!

Anyway, last night was fun! Went to see the West Side Story broadway play at the Sun-Yat Sen Memorial Hall!

It was great, especially when the troupe blasted out familiar melodies such as “Maria,” “I Like to be in America,” “Tonight” and “I’m so Pretty.”

My date was funny. He said, “Hey, I didn’t know that song (I’m So Pretty) was from the West Side Story! I thought it was a pirate song.

LOL.

My favorite actor/actress was the one who played Tony (great vocal abilities!) and Anita (strong acting chops), who is Bernardo’s wife and Maria’s sister-in-law. The woman who played Maria had a super-strong Spanish accent and her voice was too high, so I felt the director could’ve made a better pick.

Albeit, the show was very nice though, despite the unrealistic falling in love and getting married after meeting each other the night before, and complemented by a few murders, a rape and an attempt at suicide.

Haha, there’s nothing better that finishes a great day up than by watching a broadway play!

*thumbs up*

Finally, it’s going to be an interesting weekend, full of dining out, clubbing, beach parties, movie watching and yeah, climbing atop the Taipei 101!

So have a great Friday and be good now!

Take care y’ all!

Advertisements

About Bonita

I'm a forgetful person. But I think a lot. Every day, a lot of thoughts enter my head. That's why this blog came to be: first, to keep my memories alive through the years, and two, to actually see how I and my thoughts have changed. Please note that I seldom draft or edit my posts. Sometimes, if I'm not careful, I offend some of you, my readers. And while I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable, I am not sorry for being honest or for making well-intentioned mistakes. I will however be the first to admit if I change my mind. Hence, do read and proceed with caution. My life is as colorful and as boring as you make it. I complain many days, but offer some encouragement in others. Life is fluid, it changes. So keep the positives and throw away the negatives, and I do hope that at the end of the day, you will enjoy reading the blog and leaving comments here and there if my posts touches you. Happy reading!
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

3 Responses to Dating Ad Hilarities ;-D

  1. Anonymous says:

    you are really a miserable person. This is my conclusion after reading several articles of yours. Well, you probably will write another 10 pages to analyze this comment. Anyway, enjoy!

  2. raven says:

    *Pops open a bottle of champagne and dances wildly!*

    My first critic… my first critic!!! Yay!!! As they say, no one ever beats a dead horse, so you know you’ve got it made when you have people like anonymous criticize you! 😀

    Haha, thanks for leaving a note anonymous. Yeah, I sknow I should write around 10 pages about ur comment, but sorry, just way too busy at work and living life to the full to do so! Thanks for the offer though. Ciao!

  3. ... beachfreak says:

    @raven: Haha! You made my day with this post and your comment. Hehe.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s