Going against the flow

Tall and beautiful with great fashion sense, AL is one of the hotter girls in our organization. Working for a multinational consumer goods company with a bright future, she seems to have it all. Unfortunately, she recently broke up with her boyfriend of two years, two months ago, and is now suffering from low self-esteem.

I’ve always liked her. She always seem to have that happy smile, but that night, she was a bit sad. I can’t really blame her, given her situation.

“Do you know what I’d do during weekends over the past two months?” she rhetorically asked me. “I would wear my PJs the whole day and watch TV all by myself. I was in absentia, and I was just feeling sorry about myself. But later, I decided to get myself out of this rut and this is my second time to go out and socialize.”

We were at the Hsinyi Warner foodcourt after watching my friend LL’s play. It was around 10PM, and I was chowing down a Doner Beef Kebab and sipping my lemon iced tea. Given my busy schedule, I wasn’t able to eat… and I was hungry. Angela was just there to accompany me.

I told her how I spent my day — after the brunch we organized where almost 60 attendees came, I chose to go on my own and check out a local health center, instead of joining a group of 10 to 15 people eating desserts at Salt & Bread, like I would usually do. After that, I went to see LL’s play to show my support.

No regrets.

I was doing what I wanted to do — I watched a spectacular aboriginal music performance at the health center and was shocked and awed on how magical the singers’ voices were, gave my support to Yaya who was doing a Balinese dance that day, and I watched my friend’s play, which meant a lot to her.

I think it’s way better than spending it with 10 to 15 people, most of which I don’t really click with, and chowing down unhealthy and expensive whipped cream and calories (though I admit Salt & Bread’s dessert are especially delicious).

Sigh, yes. That’s another good reason to do my own thing — I didn’t want to waste too much time with people I had nothing much in common with, hence will just remain “Hi, hello” acquaintances whom I’d have to be polite to during events. I’ve already gotten a teaser at the brunch, and wasn’t interested in talking to people whose main interests are just shopping, shopping AND shopping.

Nothing wrong with that… but they’re not the type of people I hang out with or will probably hang out with, so why even bother?

Giving support to friends performing makes more sense to me. At least, I’m doing things with people I like and respect. 🙂

Why force myself to hang out with people just because I’m the president of the club and it’s expected that I be laid-back and go with the flow?

When I first met you, I saw a woman that was so popular and liked everyone.” my friend AL told me last night. “However, at the same time, it felt so unreal. How can someone like everyone? How can someone be so happy?

But you know what?” she continued. “I like the you now a lot better. You are pickier with your friends and the things you like to do. I think you’re more real and I like you way better than before.”

Yes, I’m very happy on how I spent my Sunday afternoon. This is what happiness is — doing things you like and are interested in with people that you like and respect.

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Am starting to think whether or not it’s about time for me to step down from the leadership of my organization. My friend JC comments, “Anyone who’s ever organized anything knows how much energy it takes. No one, not even you, can carry this on forever.”

I told him that I didn’t mind organizing activities. It challenges me, and I love it.

It’s just that I didn’t like the type of people who’d go to the events we would organize. Sure, they were hot and pretty… but I don’t know. I doubt that they have much substance underneath those slender, sexy bodies. Not after dull conversations about shopping, plastic surgery and other non-stimulating topics. Guys who come only want to go after hot women. 😦

I miss the people who used to come more often.

At least, they were interesting… they had their own philosophies, mindset and interests. At least, they led healthy lives. At least, they have confidence and morals. At least, THEY’RE REAL.

Not unlike a lot of the people who attend right now who are almost carbon copies of each other. They sound alike, look alike and are so boring… 😦

Big sigh.

I asked JC, “I don’t really know if I’ve changed, hence have no patience with them… or the people have changed…

Both.” JC replied.

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Mom’s wise words for the day:

It is true that life is not complete without a family of your own. Butwhat mom can say from experience is that it would be the best if you repeat what you want to God in prayer every night.

Why?

In repeating what you want to God in prayer every night before you sleep, you not only remind Him of your request but ALSO BRAINWASH YOURSELF AND REMIND YOURSELF WHAT YOU REALLY WANT IN LIFE.

For example, you can tell Him to deliver someone who basically should love God and should love you next to loving God. He should be the one who will devote his time, thought and effort to make you happy and take good care of you. He need not be rich but should be industrious and willing to go for something best in life, He need not be too handsome but most be someone who can make your head turn. He need not be with you 24 hours a day but should let you know that he cares for you every second of the day.

Sniff.

I love my mom, and miss her.

*to be continued*

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About Bonita

I'm a forgetful person. But I think a lot. Every day, a lot of thoughts enter my head. That's why this blog came to be: first, to keep my memories alive through the years, and two, to actually see how I and my thoughts have changed. Please note that I seldom draft or edit my posts. Sometimes, if I'm not careful, I offend some of you, my readers. And while I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable, I am not sorry for being honest or for making well-intentioned mistakes. I will however be the first to admit if I change my mind. Hence, do read and proceed with caution. My life is as colorful and as boring as you make it. I complain many days, but offer some encouragement in others. Life is fluid, it changes. So keep the positives and throw away the negatives, and I do hope that at the end of the day, you will enjoy reading the blog and leaving comments here and there if my posts touches you. Happy reading!
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