Part II: Enough!

*I can’t believe I wrote this almost two years ago on March 30, 2004 and found it on my email archives. I wrote this at the height of my feelings for Ex #1. What’s funny about this is that now I read it, it’s still applicable now with Ex #2!

My gosh, when should I ever learn?! *slaps forehead*

Or is this just deja vu?

I give up. I can’t take it anymore.

I can’t take it that the guy has no balls.

So what?

We’re just friends?

Yeah, friends who kiss and hug, but yeah, we’re just friends.

It’s still okay now, and I’m still sane.

But I can’t handle it.

I can’t just be there, always available when on the back of my mind, I know that I’m just the meantime girl. I’m there only if there aren’t any better.

You know what?

I can’t stay sane for long.

That’s why I’m going to let it go.

I should’ve let go when he didn’t call when hecame back from Japan, but noooo, I had to wait and see for myself.

Well, if he really liked you, he would’ve called you instead of you calling him.

He would’ve been the one to take the initiative instead of you all the time.

At night, he should be the one to walk you home.

It’s those little things that do show how much he cares for you.

And you know what?

He has already repeatedly said that he didn’t care for you enough.

And still you stay.

For what — to get hurt?

No way, enough is enough.

I can always bear to be single, but I can’t bear it if I invest more into this so-called “friendship” and then get nothing in the end.

No more.

Delete his name from your phonebook, don’t call him again, and make your life in such that he’s no longer in the formula.

You’ve done enough.

He knows how you feel already. Now it’s up to him.

If there’s no response in his side, well my dear, he never really liked you that much anyway.

So don’t be available to him all the time.

I know it’s difficult to understand now, but there are other better fishes in the see.

Just keep your eyes open, and see them.

But first, free yourself from any hang-ups.

So that’s it. This is the end. Goodbye.

Moving on…

About Bonita

I'm a forgetful person. But I think a lot. Every day, a lot of thoughts enter my head. That's why this blog came to be: first, to keep my memories alive through the years, and two, to actually see how I and my thoughts have changed. Please note that I seldom draft or edit my posts. Sometimes, if I'm not careful, I offend some of you, my readers. And while I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable, I am not sorry for being honest or for making well-intentioned mistakes. I will however be the first to admit if I change my mind. Hence, do read and proceed with caution. My life is as colorful and as boring as you make it. I complain many days, but offer some encouragement in others. Life is fluid, it changes. So keep the positives and throw away the negatives, and I do hope that at the end of the day, you will enjoy reading the blog and leaving comments here and there if my posts touches you. Happy reading!
This entry was posted in Uncategorized. Bookmark the permalink.

8 Responses to Part II: Enough!

  1. ... beachfreak says:

    I wish I had written that. And I know someday I will, soon.

    Every line seems to be talking to me (well, except for the Japan thing and the walking home thingie…).

    I’ve been thinking of telling him how I really feel, and I know I should. All I have to do is ready myself for the answer which I already know.

    Hope you have a good one, raven.

  2. basangpanaginip says:

    Someday you’ll look back at this email…. and tell yourself… not again!

    The past will find a way of repeating itself.

  3. sashimi lover says:

    Nice blog. I can relate with your article here. Some guys just don’t play fair, they don’t want to commit because they might find someone better. But, girl, don’t short sell yourself… find someone who’ll really love you!

  4. simplyjessie says:

    it’s funny we expect that we’ve already learned from our past mistakes but still, no matter how we get hurt, we’re still none the wiser… =(

  5. ally says:

    raven, writing is the first step. i’m sure you’re more than over him. 😀

    question, am interested in taiwan as well, so how much would i need to spend monthlty if a)i were a student (tuition excluded, how much are living expenses: rent, books, party, food, movies) b)i were working (in this case, i want to know how much one would get if one had a graduate degree –does that count in taiwan?– and has yrs of work experience in a MNC)?

    thanks 😀

  6. raven says:

    Beachfreak and SashimiLover, thanks for dropping in. Nice to know I’m not alone in my conundrum. It’s hard, but day by day, it gets better…

    BasangPanaginip and Simply Jessie, yeah, it’s kinda sad to see how things are happening over and over again. It’s a bad pattern I’d have to break.

    Ally, not completely over him yet, but slowly and surely getting my life back. People have called me, “You’re the busiest person I know!” and it’s true! Helps forget about the loneliness u know!

  7. Blackdove says:

    I notice that you keep referring to your old entries and I know you don’t delete them. But I’m also wondering – do you backup your blog? You know, just in case if something corrupts somewhere? If so, how?

  8. raven says:

    Blackdove, how can one backup one’s blog?

Leave a Reply