*I can’t believe I wrote this almost two years ago on March 30, 2004 and found it on my email archives. I wrote this at the height of my feelings for Ex #1. What’s funny about this is that now I read it, it’s still applicable now with Ex #2!
My gosh, when should I ever learn?! *slaps forehead*
Or is this just deja vu?
I give up. I can’t take it anymore.
I can’t take it that the guy has no balls.
We’re just friends?
Yeah, friends who kiss and hug, but yeah, we’re just friends.
It’s still okay now, and I’m still sane.
But I can’t handle it.
I can’t just be there, always available when on the back of my mind, I know that I’m just the meantime girl. I’m there only if there aren’t any better.
You know what?
I can’t stay sane for long.
That’s why I’m going to let it go.
I should’ve let go when he didn’t call when hecame back from Japan, but noooo, I had to wait and see for myself.
Well, if he really liked you, he would’ve called you instead of you calling him.
He would’ve been the one to take the initiative instead of you all the time.
At night, he should be the one to walk you home.
It’s those little things that do show how much he cares for you.
And you know what?
He has already repeatedly said that he didn’t care for you enough.
And still you stay.
For what — to get hurt?
No way, enough is enough.
I can always bear to be single, but I can’t bear it if I invest more into this so-called “friendship” and then get nothing in the end.
Delete his name from your phonebook, don’t call him again, and make your life in such that he’s no longer in the formula.
You’ve done enough.
He knows how you feel already. Now it’s up to him.
If there’s no response in his side, well my dear, he never really liked you that much anyway.
So don’t be available to him all the time.
I know it’s difficult to understand now, but there are other better fishes in the see.
Just keep your eyes open, and see them.
But first, free yourself from any hang-ups.
So that’s it. This is the end. Goodbye.