Recent Musings

Yesterday, I was watching “Super Size Me” in DVD.

Freakingly funny film!

A funny part was when the maker of the film asked random streetwalkers what a calorie meant, and nobody even knew! I mean, how silly can you get?!

Or how about him puking after downing out a super-sized quarter pound burger? But then again, who the heck can down one liter of soda in one freaking sitting?!

No wonder a lot of Americans are obese.

I mean, how can you eat that amount of food and not get fat?!

I guess, that’s the downside of living in the US.

Everything is “super-sized,” that it’s very difficult to keep fit and healthy.

There was also his vegan-chef girlfriend who said that his boyfriend’s “performance” has decreased over the past few weeks. And she was quite graphic about how.

Haha, I love watching DVDs at home. I was supposed to rent out “Lord of War,” but they ran out. So I watched “Super Sized Me” instead. Haven’t finished it yet, I was just too tired. But I’m looking forward to finishing it later.

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A few nights ago, I was giving a girlfriend of mine a listening ear.

She was with her ex for two years, but because of significant age difference (she was older by 12 years), they broke up. But because she still loved him and thought of him as a soulmate, she still actively maintained the friendship, despite the fact that he’s been starting to see someone else.

She’s afraid that now at 36, she’s bound to be alone for the rest of her life. She’s also afraid of losing the emotional connection she had with this guy. She said she’s never had that emotional connection and trust with anyone in her entire life.

I told her what I really thought, “You’re a great girl, and there’s nothing wrong with you. It’s just that the guy wanted to play and isn’t looking for a serious relationship right now, and you didn’t deserve that. You deserve so much more because you are a generous, wonderful woman.”

We are in similar boats, her and I.

Like her, my ex and I are trying to maintain a friendship.

Difficult and a bit awkward at times, but we’ll see.

But I’m trying to get myself out of the confusion. I’m okay with being friends, but being in the gray area was driving me nuts. So after much reflection in the last few weeks, I’ve made a decision that I’ve had enough.

It hurts so bad,” my girlfriend moaned. “It hurts so bad that I don’t know how I can manage it already.”

Sometimes, it has to hurt us so bad that we realize that we need to let go.

I’ve had my epiphany Christmas day when I didn’t even get a greeting.

No call.

No text.

No email.

Fine.

I’ve shed tears, I know my position.

It’s over.

As Mike had said, “For goodness sakes, it’s 2006! Forget about him!”

I am already doing so.

My girlfriend just sent me an email today.

She wrote, “Thank you so much for being there for me. Words cannot express how much I appreciate all that you have done for me. I hope that we can both move on and be happy again, very soon.”

I am actually moving on.

I started sometime ago.

Wish me luck.
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I’m excited.

Tonight, I’m having dinner with a good friend of mine. The first time I met this friend, I knew I was going to like her! She’s sincere, happy and so down-to-earth. Really, there’s not a lot of women like her in Taiwan. A lot of women here are just so superficial, but she’s one of the genuine ones.

I like her husband as well. We go wall climbing together.

Terrific guy.

They’re so good together, and believe it or not, they’ve been married for 7 years. They married young, and now, they’re only 28 years old, but they’re still happily married.

Sigh, this is what my ideal marriage looks like. This is what I’m reaching out for.

Last night, I dropped by Wellcome to buy breakfast.

My gosh, the moment I walked in and smelled the different aroma of food, I felt different. I can imagine myself being married and walking to Wellcome to buy some groceries for home. I’ll buy some peanut butter, jam, milk, meats and vegetable for tomorrow’s meal.

It’s the first time that I’ve really wanted to be married.

Now, don’t get me wrong.

I’m not desperate to get married yet.

If it comes, it comes. If not, that’s okay. I can wait.

But I realized that there are comforts that come from being married, and mundane things like buying groceries are one of them.

I left Wellcome being very affected.

Though this isn’t the first time I’ve wanted to have a partner that suits me, it’s the first time I’ve thought of the pleasures of settling down and maybe starting a family.

Maybe it comes with the age?

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Today, I wrote “Anyone knows of a decent strip bar (鋼管秀 or 脫衣秀) in TPE?” as my MSN nick.

It’s amazing what type of responses you get.

One came from a Canadian-Chinese friend:

“Isnt that illegal? I thought Chinese has a conservative culture. i am too conservative. Strip bar is bad. It introduces impure thoughts. So what’s the point?”

Others reacted wildly.

They said, “I thought you were a wholesome girl?”

My, it’s funny how people immediately stereotype you.

Frankly, I want to go because I’m curious and I’ve never been. That’s it.

Stripping women don’t turn me on, but fresh new experiences do.

As my guy friend had said, “That’s the new motto for 2006: Do something different every month!”

I think this is a pretty good motto for 2006. And what’s wrong with visiting a strip bar (if I can find it)?

I mean, the fact that it has negative connotations doesn’t exactly equate that I’m a bad girl for going.

Anyway, I don’t care what other people think. If they think I’m wild and crazy, then so be it. I do know where I stand anyway. I know that I’m just living life to the fullest, and being the best person as I can be.

C’est La Vie!

About Bonita

I'm a forgetful person. But I think a lot. Every day, a lot of thoughts enter my head. That's why this blog came to be: first, to keep my memories alive through the years, and two, to actually see how I and my thoughts have changed. Please note that I seldom draft or edit my posts. Sometimes, if I'm not careful, I offend some of you, my readers. And while I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable, I am not sorry for being honest or for making well-intentioned mistakes. I will however be the first to admit if I change my mind. Hence, do read and proceed with caution. My life is as colorful and as boring as you make it. I complain many days, but offer some encouragement in others. Life is fluid, it changes. So keep the positives and throw away the negatives, and I do hope that at the end of the day, you will enjoy reading the blog and leaving comments here and there if my posts touches you. Happy reading!
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4 Responses to Recent Musings

  1. Anonymous says:

    what’s funny is your question… is there really such a decent “strip” bar??? all i know is if there’s stripping then it’s not decent. 🙂

  2. chekwa says:

    i know it’s free entrance and no cover charge for women as well. happy new year!

  3. raven says:

    Yes, a “decent” strip bar is an oxymoron. 🙂

    Chekwa, know of any strip bars here?

  4. Will says:

    2006 motto: doing something different every month?

    thats like a watered down version of my motto – do something different everyday! 🙂

    Try a new way of brushing your teeth or radio station you listen to or way to work.
    Many small experiences will open more doors than just one big one.

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