The End of 2005

2005 is the year of truly being a yuppie (young professional) in Taipei. Here are my highlights of this year:

1) Most notable is my intense involvement in my organization.

When I first got involved, the organization was almost dead and all the old officers were finding out a way to revive it. In came the new team (in cooperation of the old team), and in a little over 6 months, we’ve managed to increase membership to over 1,600 members, double our budget and organize over 30 activities.

I have a lot to thank for in this organization, most especially the wonderful people I’ve met who share the same passion and have done so much to start and keep the momentum (you all know who you are). I love them all. I’ve come across a lot of cool people because of this organization, some I’d like to keep for a lifetime.

And secondly, I’ve also had a lot of “firsts” including my first time scuba diving, snorkeling, white river rafting at Hualien, driving a scooter and bicycle, hiking in new spots, go-karting, ice-skating, organizing a 250-people banquet, and more! It has truly been an awesome, fun year.

2) My first breakup, then a new love, then another break.

Sheesh, am I jinxed?!

The first one hurt, but I got over it.

It’s now a finished chapter. We were just too different from each other.

The second was a breath of fresh air. He was someone I was very similar to, personality-wise, belief-wise, and etc. But that didn’t work out as well.

I’m already tired of asking, “Why?” but the consolation is I’ve discovered a lot more about myself and what I want in a mate.

We live, we learn.

3) Raven becoming less-nice.

Bitchy is not the right word. Being assertive is.

I’m still as nice as ever, but I will not be accommodating just to make someone happy at my expense or anything I’m passionate for… There’s a limit I can go and this year, I’ve reached that limit. I’ve broken down twice in the bathroom, and finally, I’ve had enough.

I’ll be nice to you till a point, but cross that line, and enough of the bullsh*t. I will not let you, or anybody else, disrespect me or abuse my kindness.

A lot of my friends were worried. Many couldn’t believe that I couldn’t be nice at all. “You’re built to be nice,” they said.

But people saw how driven I am in getting things done when I’m pissed.

So don’t piss me off.
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I’ve learned to appreciate a lot of things this year. Many I’ve discovered by myself, while a lot are introduced me to friends. Here are just some of my new “loves” in 2005:

1) Red wine — I used to love drinking white wine and champagne. Not anymore! I’ve come to appreciate the rich, whole, profound taste of red wine, especially when accompanied by red meat. Served in either a wine glass or just your normal plastic cup, red wine is also great with coke! Try it, it’s very addictive.

2) Blue Man Group — Using pipes and innovative way of creating music, the Blue Man Group became famous for appearing in Intel® commercials. But truly, their music blows me out of my mind! I especially love their piece, “Episode 13,” which is based on the feeling of papers from the World Trade Center flying around during the September 11 attacks.

3) Organizing activities — Rediscovered this love after being offered the head post in my organization. Yes, it is a volunteer organization and yes, I shouldn’t treat it so seriously. But I’ve learned a lot about myself and about other people through this organization, and grown so much because of it.

4) Walking around the city — I learned that I liked walking around the city back in 2004 after I tried walking from Warner Hsinyi to Shida or from Hsilin to the top of Yang Ming Mountain. But I discovered that I loved it this 2005. I walked home several times from the Taipei 101 area home, and it’s always done wonders in clearing the mind.

5) Indoor wallclimbing
— 2005 is the year of indoor wallclimbing. After trying it again mid-2005, I got hooked and finally got my complete gear as well as my gri-gri and ATC license. It’s now something I hope to do at least once a week to improve my health and perk up my butt.

6) Traveling
— I knew that I liked traveling, but I discovered a passion for it when I went to Hongkong last July, and to Cambodia this December. I loved the freedom of visiting a foreign land and discovering new cultures so much (especially when my parents aren’t there to control me) that I can’t wait to do more come 2006. Thailand, Vietnam… here I come!

7) Fine dining and flowers — I’ve eaten in some of the nicest places here and abroad. Being the romantic that I am, it’s still the best way to woo me. That, and great conversation. 🙂
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And lastly, here’s what haven’t changed:

1) Still working for the same computer company. Wow, can’t believe it’s almost 2 years!

2) Still keeping the same people as my close friends, with a few additions of course!

3) Still staying in the same messy apartment…which reminds me, I need to clean it up!

4) Still love watching movies and reading, still hate doing the laundry.

5) Still sleeping till late and scheduling each day to the fullest.

6) Still taking care of my body by exercising at least 3 times a week at the gym (though I’ve gained a bit of weight recently).

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Postscript

Jeez, I’ve grown so much this past year, it’s unbelievable.

The first half of 2005 was a period of giddyness and innocence.

I went back home to the Philippines and stopped over Singapore where I met my godfather. When I went back, I’ve also come to realize that I’ve changed so much and that I’ll probably not fit in Manila anymore, if I ever do go back. Meanwhile, I’ve also gone clubbing and partied a lot, visited MiaoLi, did some tutoring and hung out with friends.

The only damper was my first breakup, which wasn’t that bad considering it was already moving downhill and both of us didn’t want to be stuck in a limbo.

The middle of 2005 was the peak — I was offered the head post in the organization, started dating a nice guy, met new close friends, and basically got the ball rolling by churning out multiple projects at a time.

I was on top of the world, and yet, comfortable and stable in where I am. Life was perfect and good, and if I could stop time, it would be at this point.

But good things come to an end.

The rug was pulled below me in the last half of the year.

It was at its lowest last October when I had to deal with another breakup (I must really be jinxed!), worried about my birthday (I put much emphasis on celebrations), and handled the stress of organizing big-budget projects such as the holiday gala and a trip to Green Island.

Now, that took the wind out of me.

You should have seen what I was like then — not good at all.

I’m like, it’s okay God to give me crap…

BUT…

WHY, ALL AT THE SAME TIME?! 🙁

It was just too much — I broke down twice and cried in the bathroom.

I was a complete mess. 🙁

But what makes you weak, makes you stronger.

After grieving about all the sh*t that pilled up simultaneously in my life, I bounced back within a few days.

Read this, I BOUNCED BACK.

First, I would not let some moody person empty my organization’s coffers just because he wanted to stay in his cave.

Secondly, I will not worry in getting the approval of people who don’t care about me anyways.

And lastly, I’ve slowly learned (and still learning) to get my voice back.

A very important lesson.

I’ve realized I was being extremely accommodating as the head of the organization, in the expense of my feelings and my organization. It was the same way in my second relationship. I’ve let myself go, and subconsciously accommodated the needs of my significant other.

Yes, I’ve said it was an equal relationship, and in many ways it was.

But I’ve also learned that one should be more assertive in what one wants.

Deciding what to do and where to eat may not be a big deal… but it does hold weight when it comes to big respect.

So that’s that, you live… you learn.

All in all, that confident tigress leaped out double-fold came the final months of the year.

Some didn’t like it and said that I was difficult to work with.

Some said that I’ve changed and that I wasn’t the me that they liked and loved before.

But hey, I’m just fighting for who I am, and what I want for once.

And if they don’t like it, well, tough luck.

As a result, I became tougher, more driven. I think I’ve matured so much this 2005.

Even Lisa said that I sound different.

She’s right — I feel different as well.

Now, this December, I’m getting the life I had back.

I’m going out more, keeping busy and just pondering more about who I am and what I want in my life.

I’M BACK!

Overall, it’s been a very colorful and fulfilling year.

So hope 2005 was as good for you as it was for me!

Do leave a brief post on how your 2005 came and went.

Man, it’s going to be hard, but hope 2006 can top this year up! 😀

Happy New Year everyone! 🙂

About Bonita

I'm a forgetful person. But I think a lot. Every day, a lot of thoughts enter my head. That's why this blog came to be: first, to keep my memories alive through the years, and two, to actually see how I and my thoughts have changed. Please note that I seldom draft or edit my posts. Sometimes, if I'm not careful, I offend some of you, my readers. And while I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable, I am not sorry for being honest or for making well-intentioned mistakes. I will however be the first to admit if I change my mind. Hence, do read and proceed with caution. My life is as colorful and as boring as you make it. I complain many days, but offer some encouragement in others. Life is fluid, it changes. So keep the positives and throw away the negatives, and I do hope that at the end of the day, you will enjoy reading the blog and leaving comments here and there if my posts touches you. Happy reading!
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2 Responses to The End of 2005

  1. Nero says:

    Congratulations for a very wonderful year. You’re living your life to the fullest!

  2. raven says:

    Thanks Nero! 🙂 Hope 2006 will be great as well!

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