The Worst Kind of Revenge

I was talking to a girl-friend of mine a few weeks ago.

She used to kinda go out with another friend of mine.

Unfortunately, he wasn’t that much into her. And politely excused himself from the blooming relationship by saying that he’s moving to the United States to get engaged to a former flame.

Surprise, surprise… she discovered the he found a new girlfriend a week or so after.

Hurt and betrayed, she took revenge the best way she knew how…

By rebounding and hooking up with another guy.

They weren’t together for more than 2 weeks when she told me via MSN, “I’m unhappy. I don’t really like to be in this relationship and am thinking about breaking up with my (current) boyfriend.

She still thinks about her former flame. I found it sad.

Why is it that in order to punish someone we care about, we turn and punish ourselves?

Do you think by hooking up with someone else, he’ll drop on his knees and beg to be accepted back in your arms?!

No. He’s already happy with another woman.

I saw them together a week ago. He was glowing.

And here you are, crying. Pitying yourself for being so stupid, and being stuck in a relationship you don’t really want.

I do not approve or disapprove of rebounds. I admit they have its use. Many a guy friend I have who say that rebounds are effective. After hooking up with another girl, they can already move on.

As Mike had said, “Rip off the bandage. It hurts, but at least, you can move on.” But please don’t be stupid.

Relationships for me are too beautiful.

I wouldn’t be in one unless I truly care for the other person.

I don’t really agree that you should just get into a relationship just for the heck of it, claiming that since you are emotionally uninvolved and you’re just having a great time, you can handle it.

Bullsh*t.

You’re playing with fire here, sweetheart.

And with fire, there’s always a risk to get burned.

I’m more risk-averse.

I only bet the house, if I know I have a good set of cards.

And I usually bet the house when it comes to relationships.

If the guy ain’t worth it, why even bother?

I’d rather enjoy my single-blessedness than waste time on a relationship if my heart ain’t in it.

It’s truly not worth the trouble. I have other better things to do.

So what’s the worst kind of revenge? It’s when you do something to hurt him, when in fact, you’re just hurting yourself.

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Time-out with your girlpals have always been fun. There is something wonderful in talking about everything and anything, and feel the time goes by. It makes me wonder why I don’t do it more often.

There’s nothing like best girl pals to boost your ego and remind you how valued you really are.

For example, I have sadly stated that my ex was starting to see other women, and that I was quite disappointed by his choices of women. Clearly, I wasn’t impressed by her, and I felt bad that he didn’t at least choose someone whom I felt was better than I was.

*insert blows to the ego here*

But Karen immediately said, “Come on! It’s not that you’re not worth it for him. He’s not worth it for you! He wants to play around and cannot give you what you need!”

“Don’t think of it that she’s not better than you,” she continued. “Think of it as he doesn’t deserve you! You’re in a higher level right now, and he clearly cannot give you what you want. Dump him and don’t see him anymore.”

Sigh, I love this man’s company so it’s really hard to let go. It’s not very easy to find someone who can keep up with me and be interested in the same things I’m interested in. Plus, we’ve been together long enough to sufficiently know each other, that I can talk to him about anything and he has a good idea what the heck I’m talking about.

Yet, I am gradually beginning to see that I have to put myself first. If a guy is clearly hinting that he’s moving on, you gotta believe him. And I value myself too much to wait and pine for a guy who wants to be with me, and yet, doesn’t want to make that commitment.

“Every moment you spend with him,” Mike warned. “Is a moment wasted instead of finding the one meant for you and who’ll value you. If you’re with him, you won’t find anyone else.”

Big sigh.

We’ll see what happens.

As days go on, the more resilient my will becomes and I’m able to take off the rose-colored glasses and see him for who he really is.

Thank God for friends who constantly remind me that I’m special and truly someone to treasure. I love you guys!

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Last night, I watched the “40-year old Virgin” — totally hilarious movie.

I was yucking so hard it wasn’t even lady-like.

The waxing scene was the best — I laughed so hard, I thought I would run out of air and die.

Make sure to watch it if you can… it starts off slow but picks up quite well. Steve Carell is so funny as the guy who hasn’t lost his virginity yet even after he’s 40.

Clearly, it’s no big deal. I mean, virginity is simply overrated I think. But as they said in the movie, if you haven’t lost it till you’re 40, it’s because you placed it in a pedestal.

Haha, still, a great movie to watch… preferably with friends instead of a date because you’d want your date to see a gentler side of you. It’s quite a turnoff (I think) for your date to see you with tears in your eyes laughing like crazy!

Bah! Just be yourself and watch it.

Oh, and please comment on my previous entry, “People Want What They Can’t Have.” Thanks, appreciate it much and have a great weekend!

C’est La Vie!

About Bonita

I'm a forgetful person. But I think a lot. Every day, a lot of thoughts enter my head. That's why this blog came to be: first, to keep my memories alive through the years, and two, to actually see how I and my thoughts have changed. Please note that I seldom draft or edit my posts. Sometimes, if I'm not careful, I offend some of you, my readers. And while I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable, I am not sorry for being honest or for making well-intentioned mistakes. I will however be the first to admit if I change my mind. Hence, do read and proceed with caution. My life is as colorful and as boring as you make it. I complain many days, but offer some encouragement in others. Life is fluid, it changes. So keep the positives and throw away the negatives, and I do hope that at the end of the day, you will enjoy reading the blog and leaving comments here and there if my posts touches you. Happy reading!
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