On Unfounded Fears, Heartaches and Breaking-Up

One has to always put the end in mind.

But that is not the only significant part of the journey.

Keep in mind that when we start any journey, it is always the destination we look at.

But once we reach the destination, it’s the journey that we will always remember.

We should not be too blinded with the destination that we forget to enjoy the trip going there.

Just like in a relationship, you just don’t think that you should enter into a relationship because you will already marry the person.

You enter into a relationship to get to know the person better and discern if she indeed could be that person walking down the aisle with you.

You have to spend some time with her and find out if the two of you are compatible and could hit it off.

You won’t know this by not giving the girl a chance.

You would not know all these things just by the looks of the girl or your first impression of her.

Once you are in that relationship, that’s the best chance to build on what the two of you already have.

Don’t break up with someone just because you don’t see yourself with the other person for the rest of your life.

Don’t jeopardize a possibly wonderful relationship.

How would you know that the other person is the right one if you don’t give her/him a chance to prove her worth?

How would you know that she/he could be the one if you prematurely cut off the relationship because at the moment you don’t see yourself sharing the future with her/him?

How would you know this if you don’t give her/him the chance?

And I tell you that it will take you a long time (or possibly never) to find another girl/guy like her/him.

Remember that its not everyday that you meet someone who has the magic to let you fall in love!!!

It might be possible that you would still remain as friends.

But being “together” opens a lot of possibilities and opportunities that friends do not get.

Even if you remain as friends, you would not be as close as before.

The intensity and the same feeling is no longer there.

The relationship will no longer be on the same level .

We can’t predict the future, we just need to hope and to pray for the best and for what is right and believe that’s how it will be.

In the movie “Can’t Hardly Wait,” there was a line in that movie that goes something like this: “Fate takes you just as far. Destiny is when everything falls right into place and its just up to you to make it happen.”

Destiny is a mixture of chance and of choice.

Its not a thing to be waited.

You must make it happen.

Don’t you feel that everything has already fallen right into place and its up to you to make it happen?

Everything is just so right and how would the both of you know if this indeed is fate or “the plan” if you would not give it a try.

The only way for you to know is to at least give the relationship a chance and find out for yourselves.

Don’t miss this chance of finding it out because of some unfounded fears.

At least if you give it a try, you can say that you did your best and you found out for yourselves.

Not just based on some fear and apprehension that are just part of the countless possibilities that might happen.

If it doesn’t work, at least, after many years you would know if the both of you really were meant for each other rather than regret and bear the thought of all the things that might have been?

At least you would clear all the “what ifs” and the “only ifs” in the future.

It will give the both of you peace of mind.

Would you find it too much of a coincidence that the both of you hit it off so wonderfully, it seemed that you’ve known each other for so long already though you have not known each other for that long?

It seemed that you knew each other from another life.

And each of you enjoyed every bit of it.

You were like soulmates who finally found each other after a very long separation.

You had everything going so well.

Everything happened as if everything just fell right in place.

Would you consider it fate? It’s up to you to make it happen.

What do you think?

You might say “This is something serious and that I might be making a big mistake and that I would just like to play it cool. No room for ambiguity here. Better, safe than sorry!

Better safe than sorry?!

To be honest, in this world we live in, there is not a full proof plan that exist.

If you always bear this idea in mind, I don’t know if you would eventually find someone.

You might just be too scared of the bad things that you would end up missing all the good stuff!

The best that you can do is give the relationship a chance.

You can never succeed without even trying.

You should always hope for the best.

And to hope is to risk pain… or satisfaction.

To try is to risk failure but risk must be taken because the greatest hazard in life is to risk nothing.

To risk nothing is to risk even more.

You might be taking the risk of losing the one true thing that really matters to you.

Guarantee that you will be second to none.

You would not completely know if she/he may already be the one if you don’t give it a try.

And it will be more painful to lose someone you love and who loves you more just because you are waiting for the right time.

How will you ever know if this is already the right thing at the right time?

What if the time is now?

When will you really know when the right time is?

You cannot love a person too soon for you would never know how soon it will be too late.

The greatest injustice love can ever offer is you not loving at the very right time only to find out later that it was the right person.

You’ve got so much going on right now.

You have a lot of things in common.

Imagine what you can share for tomorrow.

You still have a lot of things ahead of you.

Learn about each other together.

You come to love not by finding a perfect person but by learning to see an imperfect person perfectly.

And besides, nobody is perfect.

When you truly love someone you don’t look for faults. You don’t look for answers. You don’t look for mistakes.

Instead you fight for the mistakes, you accept the faults and you overlook excuses.

If you truly love someone, you just don’t bail out on the other person because there is something wrong with her.

You’ll know that it’s true love you are having if you are still willing to love that person despite of his or her flaws or infirmities.

The reason you met each other may be of destiny.

But if destiny will suggest that you’ll live without her, then why live not by destiny but of free will?

==================================

This is a beautiful article I wish I wrote, that was forwarded to me by a good friend. I agree with everything the article said. It’s able to voice out in paper how I feel about certain things.

*big sigh*

Let me tell you something, when I was riding the bus earlier today, I couldn’t take the normal nap as I usually do in the mornings.

I miss my best friend.

Seriously, when I was in a relationship with him, the connection and intimacy that I have shared with him was deep. I felt that I knew him and he knew me.

But all this is different now.

I look at him often, and I don’t know him anymore.

Nor do I think he understands me as well as he used to.

He used to say that he knows me very well…

Back then, I would agree.

But now, I don’t think he knows me as much. There are times when I see him scratching his head, and asking, “Why?” in the face of some weird behavior.

But if he understood me, he wouldn’t need to ask that question anymore.

I miss my best friend. I see him as a best friend.

And I fear that in the next coming weeks, we’ll continue this distance till we’re mere acquaintances.

He is afraid that I cannot move on.

It just shows how much he doesn’t know me.

I am moving on and I am doing great.

He is not my whole world, nor will I crumble without him.

I spend time with a person not because I need him/her, but because I enjoy their company and choose to be with them.

Ha! As if I need anyone to survive. God knows the challenges I’ve gone through the past couple of months to know how strong I can be when necessary.

But I do value my relationships with my friends.

And I feel it’s now at risk.

What will happen?

No freaking clue.

But if this continues, sigh.

Busy day ahead… hope all of you are doing well!

About Bonita

I'm a forgetful person. But I think a lot. Every day, a lot of thoughts enter my head. That's why this blog came to be: first, to keep my memories alive through the years, and two, to actually see how I and my thoughts have changed. Please note that I seldom draft or edit my posts. Sometimes, if I'm not careful, I offend some of you, my readers. And while I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable, I am not sorry for being honest or for making well-intentioned mistakes. I will however be the first to admit if I change my mind. Hence, do read and proceed with caution. My life is as colorful and as boring as you make it. I complain many days, but offer some encouragement in others. Life is fluid, it changes. So keep the positives and throw away the negatives, and I do hope that at the end of the day, you will enjoy reading the blog and leaving comments here and there if my posts touches you. Happy reading!
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3 Responses to On Unfounded Fears, Heartaches and Breaking-Up

  1. abe says:

    you made me cry again….

    “Don’t break up with someone just because you don’t see yourself with the other person for the rest of your life.” < --this was her reason...

  2. Blackdove says:

    “Don’t break up with someone just because you don’t see yourself with the other person for the rest of your life.”

    I believe this article is in the context of a boyfriend-girlfriend relationship. And if so, then I don’t agree with that line. If you don’t see yourself with this person in the future, then there must be some major compatibility issues there. Why bother with this person when you could wait/ search for a more compatible one. Nobody’s perfect, but surely, there must be a BETTER FIT. A fit where you CAN see yourself with for the rest of your life.

  3. raven says:

    Abe, people have different reasons why they break up. Unfortunately, the harsh truth is, they don’t want to be with you anymore. Period. Sad, but it always takes two to tango.

    My heart goes out to you and I know exactly how you feel. But trust me, there’s alway somebody who’ll appreciate you are in the future.

    Blackdove, in my case, it wasn’t a compatibility issue. My ex and I were very compatible. He just couldn’t see himself dating someone way younger than he. What’s your opinion in this then?

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