I wrote this on September 15, 2005 — too busy to change the entry so I’m publishing this as is…
My friends complain they haven’t found their significant someone yet.
It makes me realize that there are so many single people in Taipei.
They’re pretty, smart, and successful nice people — and yet, they are lonely. And they want a boyfriend/girlfriend.
“I’m becoming jaded,” complains my friend James. “Every time you get put down, you become a little jaded.”
I can’t really say. Before I had my first boyfriend, I’d bitch and moan that I’d die a spinster. But seriously, there wasn’t any real desire to have a boyfriend. After I broke up with my first, I then met my current boyfriend. So I never really got to enjoy my single-hood.
Though I think it’s cool that you can date around as many as you want. It’s like being in a buffet where you can go out with him on Monday, and another guy on Wednesday — and don’t feel guilty about it.
“It gets old pretty fast though,” says a girlfriend of mine. “Nobody wants to get hurt. And every time you go and meet someone, and it doesn’t work out, you get hurt.”
I look at my friends again. One is a dentist, good-looking and a graduate from Harvard Dentistry. In his 30s, Jerry He is considered a “catch” in Taipei given his good looks, good education and nice smile.
I teased him that he should be having the time of his life because he has his choice of women since he has all the right stuff.
“First, I work all the time and my schedule is inconvenient,” he says. “Secondly, if I had a choice, I’d rather be settled down than running around on dates.”
The grass is definitely greener in the other side, ey?
Novembergrace expresses my thoughts so well in her blog:
“I know some amazing women. They are kind, gentle, intelligent, diligent…They are often Ivy-league educated professionals. Physicians, lawyers, professors, nurses, artists. They are the kind of girls who volunteered in hospitals on Friday nights when everyone else went out drinking in college. They are the kind of girls who bought sheet music instead of shoes with their first pay check. They are the kind the girls you hope you brother would marry.
But somehow, they are alone, and this is not by their own choice. Sometimes I wonder: what’s wrong with all the guys in this world? Do they not see how wonderful these women are?
Inner beauty is a wonderful thing, but sadly it doesn’t help you much in some arenas in life. Then again, why should a good woman change who she is to please someone else?”
And this isn’t just for women. There are also a lot of nice men who are still single, lonely and looking…
It puzzles me though, how so many nice people are still single.
And ironically, they’re not exactly single by choice.
They just haven’t found the right person yet.
It’s not that they don’t want to be alone for the rest of their life. Yes, they do want to get married and have kids… but it’s just not happening.
I don’t know why.
Case in point, another girl-friend of mine.
Let’s call her Carol.
Carol is 31 but looks 26 because of her petite height and cute look. She works in marketing, great with kids and a truly nice person.
At 31, she has never had a boyfriend in her entire life.
“Maybe you’re just picky,” I suggested.
But she answered, “It’s not that I’m picky… it’s just that no guy has ever asked me out. Give me anyone and I’ll go out with them!!!”
We always think that most people are single by choice. But talking to these people, I’ve come to realize that it’s not that they’re single by choice, or are just being picky — but really, they don’t seem to come across people they like/attracted to.
Chance isn’t that good to them, it seems.
Of course, not that I think that boyfriends/girlfriends are the end-all and be-all of life. But if they’re so nice and they’re willing, why can’t they find anyone suitable for them?
I admit, my meeting my first boyfriend is indeed magical in such that I believe that it’s part-chance and part-choice, but really, if you think about it, how difficult is it?
Or maybe chances do abound.
But we’re just being so picky… that one day, you realize, you’ve missed your chance.
Sometimes, we just have to grab it.
I remember when I was first “hanging out” with my boyfriend, my gosh, just a few change here and there and we probably wouldn’t have gotten together. Mike was right, chance made us meet, but it’s both our choices that made us happen.
My best friend complains that she can never have the guts to approach a guy. She’d rather have him approach her so that she’ll know how much he likes her.
I’m like, good luck.
But girl, this is the 21st century. Actively approaching someone won’t kill you, and life’s too short to miss those chances.
Being part of this huge organization, I get to meet so many new acquaintances in a regular basis.
Many of them are nice — and single.
I guess, that’s why they join such activities… so they can meet like-minded singles as them.
So far, since I’ve been active six months ago, there have only been two successful matches — one of which is my honey and I.
What is it that starts a relationship? Is there something missing in the equation? Is it really that hard to meet that special someone?
If so, then seriously, I may have hit the jackpot.
Do enlighten me when you get the time.
My head’s going bald with all these scratching… 🙂