Part II: What is real love?

Had a spectacular weekend, which I’ll just relate to you later since it’s already late. I may even post a few pictures once I get them. Anyway, I was talking to a good friend yesterday and we both agree with this definition of TRUE love:

“True love is a commitment to be there for someone through thick and thin, to look on the positive side of their character, to appreciate the blessing it is to be able to associate with them to whatever degree is possible, and to truly cherish and enjoy being with them — not just to tolerate and put up with them.

Being IN love with someone, generally inspires us to take the first step towards LOVING them. But ultimately, LOVING them requires a conscious decision to accept them as they are and to seek pleasure in recognizing the beauty and goodness that already resides therein.”

Hence, falling in love and true love are two different things. Many people mistake the feeling of falling in love with real love. They think if your heart goes into flip-flops and you have butterfly in your stomach, this is the person who is right for you.

My friend and I share a different definition. Loving a person at the height of your passion is easy. It’s effortless. But real love comes when the feeling is gone, when that person is unloveable — and YET YOU CHOOSE TO LOVE HIM/HER.

It’s in the knowledge and understanding of who he/she is, of what his/her weaknesses are, and still accepting them for who they are. It’s the commitment to stick with that person not only during the happy times, but also during the times when they are vulnerable and weak.

Last weekend, I asked a friend what was the difference of someone you love in a romantic sense, and as a friend. I don’t think it’s only the presence of physical intimacy (e.g., kissing, cuddling, etc.).

Here was his answer: “I believe when you love a person in a romantic sense, it entails a deeper sense of commitment or reliability for the others. With a friend, it would be nice if they do nice things for you, but as a friend, it gives them the license to not do something if they don’t want to.”

“But with your lover, it’s different. You have her back and she has yours, and this is a given. There is a deeper amount of trust and reliance in the relationship and you don’t give up as easily. You know with some certainty that they’ll be with you in good or bad times. But friends, would probably just run away or back down. You don’t rely on friends as much.

That made me think quite a bit…

Goodnight! Am sleepy and it’s been a fantastic and fun weekend. Talk to you guys later!

About Bonita

I'm a forgetful person. But I think a lot. Every day, a lot of thoughts enter my head. That's why this blog came to be: first, to keep my memories alive through the years, and two, to actually see how I and my thoughts have changed. Please note that I seldom draft or edit my posts. Sometimes, if I'm not careful, I offend some of you, my readers. And while I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable, I am not sorry for being honest or for making well-intentioned mistakes. I will however be the first to admit if I change my mind. Hence, do read and proceed with caution. My life is as colorful and as boring as you make it. I complain many days, but offer some encouragement in others. Life is fluid, it changes. So keep the positives and throw away the negatives, and I do hope that at the end of the day, you will enjoy reading the blog and leaving comments here and there if my posts touches you. Happy reading!
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One Response to Part II: What is real love?

  1. Zindegi says:

    I would really appreciate if you would comment on my blod.

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