Do nice guys finish last?

Do nice guys finish last?

I’ve talked about nice girls before… and if they finish last.

My answer?

No, they don’t.

In actuality, guys like nice women.

But nice isn’t enough.

To be attractive to men, nice women also have to take care of themselves (at least stay fit), come with a personality (no boring, humorless conversations please!) and are confident enough of themselves that they don’t let any jerk walk all over them.

Now, in response to this entry, I’d like to ask, how about nice men?

Do they finish last?

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I’ve heard of the theory that women in their 20s want “bad boys.”

They want the passion, the thrill of the chase.

The allure of the untouchable, unattainable man is just too strong to resist.

Married men… rebellious men whom you’re sure your parents would never approve of… guys with major issues (think drugs, alcohol and womanizing)… say it.

We women just love ’em!

However, after suffering a couple of broken hearts, they gradually begin to wise up as they reach their 30s.

Afterwards, these women start chasing after nice men who were more “reliable” with steady stable incomes.

Suddenly, nice men have become so popular!!! Hence, nice guys finish last.

Hence, guys are advised to wait till the women start wising up, and wait till they become more attractive to women.

Sort of passive, don’t you think?

Personally, I like nice guys.

I’m used to date one.

One of the nicest guys ever.

And I completely adore him and still do. My friends should be totally sick of me singing my guy’s praises.

Needless to say, I’m just in my mid-20s. Only 5 more years till I reach my 30s.

So am I more of the exception than the rule?

I doubt it.
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If my boyfriend was a pushover, I’d bet I’d find him unattractive.
Same thing with women… can you guys really appreciate a woman you can push around?

Here’s the trap — people believe that if they’re nice to a person, that person will like them more. We use niceness as a way to attract people. There’s that hunger for acceptance.

Unfortunately, the reality is harsher — if you’re too nice, to a point that you undervalue yourself, people believe they can walk all over you and will take advantage of you.

Have you watched the movie, “Joy Luck Club?”

There’s this story about a couple who almost got divorced because the woman always subjected to her husband’s will.

Her husband was initially attracted to her because she was confident and had her own mind. However, as they got married, she put her husband first, and stayed in the shadows.

Hence, when her husband would ask her what she would want for dinner, she would immediately answer in reply, “Honey, tell me what you want for dinner and I will prepare it for you.”

She gradually lost her own voice.

And she had no idea why her husband started having an affair. She wanted to know why, and felt powerless when they decided to divorce.

But in the end, via the strength of her mom, she regained her voice and started to put her foot down. She demanded that he leave her and vowed never to let him walk all over her.

The husband saw this change in her and fought to get her back.

They began to work on their marriage again, and the marriage was stronger because of that.
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Hence the question, why are nice guys unattractive?

They’re not.

Trust me, every woman wants to end up with a nice guy.

Nobody would wake up in the morning and say, “I want to be with a guy who will break my heart into a million pieces and make me cry.”

No one.

But being nice isn’t enough.

We want nice… but we want you guys to still have a backbone. We don’t want a guy who is a doormat with weak or no personality.

You know what I mean — women we want a nice guy, but we don’t want him to be a pushover. We want to feel that our guy can stick up for himself and for us, is confident about himself, have his own ideas and is willing to stand up for what he thinks is right.

We don’t want a guy who are so nice to agree with us all the time that they become pussies and let the women walk all over them. We want a guy to be a man. And the key is to balance these two factors well.

There’s nothing more attractive than a man who is confident about himself and aren’t afraid to show their authority when necessary. We want a guy who knows when to take charge, and when to be a gentleman. Frankly, CONFIDENCE and SELF-WORTH is the key.

Instead, it’s more about being equal partners in a relationship. In a relationship, both man and woman should voice out their opinions, learn how to compromise and give and take. If you let a girl decide ALL the time, it’s not you who are in the relationship. It’s the girl being in the relationship all by herself. And that IS unattractive.

Remember, STANDING UP FOR YOURSELF DOESN’T MEAN YOU’RE BEING A JERK.

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So do nice guys finish last?

Not at all.

So guys, continue to be nice… and still be a man. Don’t be pussy-whipped by your girl.

And don’t believe the crap that nice guys finish last.

About Bonita

I'm a forgetful person. But I think a lot. Every day, a lot of thoughts enter my head. That's why this blog came to be: first, to keep my memories alive through the years, and two, to actually see how I and my thoughts have changed. Please note that I seldom draft or edit my posts. Sometimes, if I'm not careful, I offend some of you, my readers. And while I apologize for making you feel uncomfortable, I am not sorry for being honest or for making well-intentioned mistakes. I will however be the first to admit if I change my mind. Hence, do read and proceed with caution. My life is as colorful and as boring as you make it. I complain many days, but offer some encouragement in others. Life is fluid, it changes. So keep the positives and throw away the negatives, and I do hope that at the end of the day, you will enjoy reading the blog and leaving comments here and there if my posts touches you. Happy reading!
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3 Responses to Do nice guys finish last?

  1. Mr Pogi says:

    i think some women are just confused between what they want & what they need. Look around you and you’ll see women ends up with jerks, and the nice guy ends up next to the woman crying because she dated a jerk, listening to her miseries and constant whining about their boyfriends being a jerk…and questioning where all the nice guys are. Hello??? you are sitting next to him. It’s a known fact that women habitually date men that are jerks while the “nice” guys are often left twiddling their thumbs in solitaire.

  2. vern says:

    Being nice only gets you so far. Nice guys might not finish last, but they won’t finish up front. This is true in almost all things, even relationships which you seem to focus on.

    No woman wants to wake up wishing for a guy to break their heart, but no woman goes on a first date thinking they are going to marry the guy for being nice.

    I don’t see why guys should be confined to two categories like good and evil. And what exactly is nice? “Where appropriate” is always a good way to judge when to be an angel, and when to get your hands dirty.

  3. raven says:

    Great comment Vern!

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