My boyfriend and I were talking about the organization I’m currently heading the other day.
He is teasing me that the organization I’m in is a meat market (where you can pick up boys/girls), and I’m the Master Pimpette.
“You think people are there just to meet friends,” sighed my boyfriend. “But actually, people are really there to look for mates!”
I still insisted that the organization is not a meat market.
It may be a meet market (where people get the chance to meet new friends), but it’s not a meat market.
He then gave the example of one of the participants in the river rafting trip who was his friend. He said that since she wasn’t interested in any of the men who were at our river rafting trip, she merely stuck with her friends.
Now, that is just sad.
“You join these trips to make friends,” I said. “Now, if something comes from the friendships that you make, then good. If not, that’s okay, because you may have found lasting friendships that will last you a lifetime.”
I personally know I’ve met some really good friends through the organization.
People here have a one-track mind.
For many of them, they join activities to find potential partners. And become disappointed when they don’t meet anyone interesting. They then think it’s a waste of time they went.
I think this is the negative way to look at things.
When I first joined the organization, I didn’t go there to find a potential mate.
Actually, the first time I went, I was still with my ex, and goodness knows, I wasn’t looking for anyone new!
Instead, I joined my organization because I enjoyed it.
I was genuinely interested in the activities we were organizing.
I tried indoor wallclimbing and loved it… we’re going again tonight by the way.
I got to try river rafting down the Hsiukulan river, which would’ve been difficult if I didn’t join a group…
I get to eat regular brunch and meet new friends and catch up with old ones…
And so much more!
The fact that I was able to meet my beau was a nice surprise.
But that was never my original intention.
And because I was open to meeting new people — and not just potential mates — I was able to get the most from the experience. To top it off, I got to do the activities I loved doing anyway, or would like to try out.
Besides, from the friends that you meet, they can also introduce you to more of their friends.
And maybe, they may know people you may be interested in.
But how can that happen if you merely cloister yourself to your friends and keep to yourselves, just because you’re not interested in the men who were present in the activities?!
I guess, this is just my pet peeve — people who join my organization for the main purpose of meeting their future boyfriend/girlfriend.
Look, I’m not stupid.
It happened to me too.
But mind you, my intention there was to meet new friends and to get involved in the activities.
I actually didn’t meet my boyfriend till months after I joined.
“If you are open to others, others will also be opened to you,” I explained. “If you keep yourself closed from others, who will pay attention to you?”
“It’s too bad they’re just there to meet potential mates,” I continued. “They would’ve gotten so much more from the experience if they were aiming to meet new friends. There were loads of nice people there.”
My boyfriend still insists that there are some people who are really there to look for mates.
My stand: I know, I know.
I’m not denying that these people exist.
But I do believe that when joining our organization’s activities, people should be looking for friends first, and potential mates second.
That way, they won’t be terribly disappointed if they don’t find one.
Besides, attraction cannot be forced.
It just happens.
So in a way, I feel sorry for her.
She could’ve gotten more from the experience and met a couple of cool people if she wasn’t too preoccupied to just meeting her potential husband.
But she didn’t. She merely stayed in her own circle.
But if she opened herself up a bit more, heck, who knows what could’ve happened?
Instead, she looked around, didn’t found someone she was interested in, and then just hung out with her friends.
And that, I think is just sad.
No wonder she’s still single.